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    Understanding her

    EDIT Deleted
    Last edited by sunmat; October 20, 2024, 02:06 PM.

    #2
    Nope. Not normal. Yes, we have pms, bad days etc., but it is never ever ok to verbally attack/abuse another person.
    I let stuff out with my SO, but never ever do I belittle him. When I am upset, I usually am down on myself or angry at others. Why would I ever pit down my best support system???
    You need to talk to her and let her know it's not ok to talk to you that way. That it is mean and it is very hurtful.

    If it is a habit of hers to fight that way, then she needs to learn a more constructive way. I sum times go "to the dark side" with stuff in my life, but I turn on myself and not others. My SO has a buzz word...that we agreed on, that when I start going down, he says and I will actually stop and think where I am going.

    So yes, talk to her. Carefully. You don't want her to take it as an attack. The best way to say things is with "I feel like this when this happens" vs " Yoi make me feel this when this happens". Keep the focus on you. Or seek third party help,
    I hope it works out for you. That kind of disrespect is so unhealthy in a realationship.

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      #3
      EDIT Deleted
      Last edited by sunmat; October 20, 2024, 02:07 PM.

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        #4
        I totally agree with Sasad, It's not normal.. each individual is unique, meaning its probably her way of showing her frustrations.. but she should take in considerations how she's hurting you by reacting the way she does.
        We girls like to complain, Yep and we love to see that our partners are willing to listen. but that doesn't mean we take our frustrations on them or maybe blame them.
        It's good that she apologizes and acknowledge you supporting her. But still, she has to learn how to control herself when she's mad.. You are maybe a very understanding and patient, but your patience might run out.
        Just communicate to her and make her understand on how you think she should to deal with her frustrations.

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          #5
          When you say it was 99% of the time. Was it the family dynamic, that everyone in her family would fight with each other, or her fighting with everyone?

          First Visit: September 2016
          Second Visit: January 2017 (Her birthday)
          Third Visit: June 2018 (medical conference near her home)

          John 3:16
          For God so loved the world. That he gave his only begotten son. For whosoever believeth in him. Shall not perish but have eternal life
          John 4:12
          I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

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            #6
            It's good that you and your SO are able to communicate about this issue. It will help you two work out how to better manage your fights, disagreements and those 'off' days.

            I've had the experience of, unfortunately, taking a lot of my stress and drama out on my SO. Now usually he tries to be the calm one, almost too rational whenever these mood swings and dark days happen. Usually that helps me come around and realize where the problem really is, and thus start fixing it.

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              #7
              EDIT Deleted
              Last edited by sunmat; October 20, 2024, 02:07 PM.

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                #8
                I agree with the others, it's ok to vent to your SO but this is different. Use the "I " statements as suggested and see if you get anywhere. Let us know how it goes.

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