Hello there,
It's my first post on here, and I have only just signed up. Mostly because I wasn't sure how to approach my LDR, first one I am in, and what to do next.
First some background information.
I met my SO last November in an online game, we chatted as friends for many months, and in June this year confessed love (his initiative). We have always chatted a lot, some days many hours straight, our record 9 hours.. However, since we decided to enter into a relationship things have slightly changed. July and August we still spoke a lot, but less (a couple of texts a day and a phone call once a week or so, never scheduled), and in September things have gotten awfully quiet. He stopped wishing me a good day in the morning, and would only message me every 2-3 days. He would say he'd call, but quite often would forget. When I brought it up, he said it was due to him wanting us to have things to talk about when we met.
First meeting. We finally met mid-Sept and it was amazing. We spend the day together and also confessed love in person. It felt so natural. We are planning to meet again 3 weeks after our first meeting (in 1.5 weeks' time).
Now onto my issues .. We still say we love each other. But our communication has not gone back to what it was. He contacts me every 2-3 days, and it is to wish me a good day, or briefly ask how I am. We have not had a full-blown conversation in such a long time, and I miss that so so much. I miss him! He still wants to meet again, but the way things are right now, it is just not enough for me. I need daily contact. I don't know if meeting every 3 or 4 weeks, and hardly any conversation in between is enough for me. Am I being unreasonable? Am I being needy? Be honest please
Now my specific question - I realise I should talk to him about it. But I don't know whether it is better to wait until our next meeting in person, or whether to do it online sooner. What do you think? Something inside tells me to give him time, observe his behaviour, and then raise it when we meet. On the other hand, I am worried that he will withdraw further if I don't enquire soon. Am I giving him too much space? He spends a lot of time gaming, just not with me anymore. Am I unreasonable wanting a chunk of his time to myself? He tells me I am the love of his life, and wants to get married, but every time he goes quiet I almost feel like he does not exist anymore. And it is killing me! Am I exaggerating?
Second question. Is being 70 miles apart really an LDR? To me this sort of distance isn't a problem, I can find time to meet every weekend, even though my schedule is busy. He seems to want to meet every 3-4 weeks. He makes it into an LDR.
And third question. Might it be a better idea (instead of telling him no contact is not enough) to ask him we jointly come up with a schedule of things we do together online in-between our meetings? Some part of me tells me to leave things the way they are, because without an imposed schedule I can better see his actual involvement.
I am probably overthinking this. Sorry However, I do want to hear your opinions x
Thanks
It's my first post on here, and I have only just signed up. Mostly because I wasn't sure how to approach my LDR, first one I am in, and what to do next.
First some background information.
I met my SO last November in an online game, we chatted as friends for many months, and in June this year confessed love (his initiative). We have always chatted a lot, some days many hours straight, our record 9 hours.. However, since we decided to enter into a relationship things have slightly changed. July and August we still spoke a lot, but less (a couple of texts a day and a phone call once a week or so, never scheduled), and in September things have gotten awfully quiet. He stopped wishing me a good day in the morning, and would only message me every 2-3 days. He would say he'd call, but quite often would forget. When I brought it up, he said it was due to him wanting us to have things to talk about when we met.
First meeting. We finally met mid-Sept and it was amazing. We spend the day together and also confessed love in person. It felt so natural. We are planning to meet again 3 weeks after our first meeting (in 1.5 weeks' time).
Now onto my issues .. We still say we love each other. But our communication has not gone back to what it was. He contacts me every 2-3 days, and it is to wish me a good day, or briefly ask how I am. We have not had a full-blown conversation in such a long time, and I miss that so so much. I miss him! He still wants to meet again, but the way things are right now, it is just not enough for me. I need daily contact. I don't know if meeting every 3 or 4 weeks, and hardly any conversation in between is enough for me. Am I being unreasonable? Am I being needy? Be honest please
Now my specific question - I realise I should talk to him about it. But I don't know whether it is better to wait until our next meeting in person, or whether to do it online sooner. What do you think? Something inside tells me to give him time, observe his behaviour, and then raise it when we meet. On the other hand, I am worried that he will withdraw further if I don't enquire soon. Am I giving him too much space? He spends a lot of time gaming, just not with me anymore. Am I unreasonable wanting a chunk of his time to myself? He tells me I am the love of his life, and wants to get married, but every time he goes quiet I almost feel like he does not exist anymore. And it is killing me! Am I exaggerating?
Second question. Is being 70 miles apart really an LDR? To me this sort of distance isn't a problem, I can find time to meet every weekend, even though my schedule is busy. He seems to want to meet every 3-4 weeks. He makes it into an LDR.
And third question. Might it be a better idea (instead of telling him no contact is not enough) to ask him we jointly come up with a schedule of things we do together online in-between our meetings? Some part of me tells me to leave things the way they are, because without an imposed schedule I can better see his actual involvement.
I am probably overthinking this. Sorry However, I do want to hear your opinions x
Thanks
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