Hi all, i'm new here.
I'm not one to ask questions on forums but i'm really struggling to understand the situation me and my SO are in right now so i was hoping for some advice.
We have been together 3-4 months. We met in an online game initially, played together for a bit but then it became something more. We are similar in age between i'm 27, she's 25.
Before i start talking about how everything has gone down hill, i think i should mention that i'm pretty sure my SO suffers from some form of depression (she is not taking/seeing one about it though) and that she is having to move into a smaller apartment in a few months and has to give up one of her pets (she is a big pet lover). Maybe that is coming into play more now and that's all there is too it but i'm finding it really difficult to get a grasp of. Also, i should say she has only had 1 relationship before ours (real life) but it lasted over 2 years, she thought he was the one but it ended up as just something casual and it hurt her a lot.
The first 2 months were great, we played together, texted all the time, were intimate over text and phone all that stuff. The 3rd month was more of the same but probably with a little less enthusiasm but this last 1-2 weeks have been absolutely terrible for me.
It's like the first 3 months were very happy, 90-100% (for me) but these last 2 weeks i feel i'm at 10% or below.
The situation we're in right now is almost every time we talk there is some kind of argument or we only talk about sad things.. we haven't done any kind of activity for a week (she won't even play the game we used to play together with me, she will play with her clan friends), we haven't done anything intimate for a week (it's not that time of the month), she texts me a lot less (i find myself initiating about 80% of all our conversations) etc etc..
If you ask me if i think shes cheating on me i will say no, i don't think so but i will say she has an ex she still talks too and she has openly told me someone else online has told her that he loves her but she said to him that they can only be friends (and they are friends). I have tried to talk to her about this but she always says similar things like, she needs her space, shes been lonely all her life so shes really insecure, she is only acting like this because she has never had someone who loves her as much as i do, she doesn't know how she can change her mind set, if she gets too close to someone she gets afraid, she says something is wrong with her inside and she doesn't think she deserves me. I always try and comfort her when she says things like this and sometimes she is okay for a bit but then it will come back the next day. She does still tell me that she loves me here on occassion and that she hopes its just a phase and she will get past it but i am really starting to wonder.
It got really bad one day and i threatened to leave her if she didn't tell me what was really happening (bad move i know). She got really upset and said she wanted to die.. i managed to calm her down and we talked it out but things have just gone back to being dull, no spark, no fun, nothing. I ask her daily if she wants to do something today, anything, but she either refuses or says she doesn't feel good. She plays more with her online friends than she does with me and it really makes me feel really pathetic and annoyed. She has even taken a few days off work because she's not well but still we don't do anything. Honestly it's driving me mad, it's starting to effect real life stuff and i just wonder if it's better for me to just end it.. i just like her so much though but my mind cannot understand why she is acting like this.
I'm no angel, i have gotten annoyed or mad at her a few times but it never lasted more than a few hours, we would always make up.
I'm just hoping for some advice, questions i can her, things i can say... how i can get through to her. Your opinions would be nice too, should i stay, do you think she doesn't feel the same way about me anymore and anything else you think might be helpful.
Sorry this post went on forever but i hope you can scim through it and help.
Thank you so much for your time.
I'm not one to ask questions on forums but i'm really struggling to understand the situation me and my SO are in right now so i was hoping for some advice.
We have been together 3-4 months. We met in an online game initially, played together for a bit but then it became something more. We are similar in age between i'm 27, she's 25.
Before i start talking about how everything has gone down hill, i think i should mention that i'm pretty sure my SO suffers from some form of depression (she is not taking/seeing one about it though) and that she is having to move into a smaller apartment in a few months and has to give up one of her pets (she is a big pet lover). Maybe that is coming into play more now and that's all there is too it but i'm finding it really difficult to get a grasp of. Also, i should say she has only had 1 relationship before ours (real life) but it lasted over 2 years, she thought he was the one but it ended up as just something casual and it hurt her a lot.
The first 2 months were great, we played together, texted all the time, were intimate over text and phone all that stuff. The 3rd month was more of the same but probably with a little less enthusiasm but this last 1-2 weeks have been absolutely terrible for me.
It's like the first 3 months were very happy, 90-100% (for me) but these last 2 weeks i feel i'm at 10% or below.
The situation we're in right now is almost every time we talk there is some kind of argument or we only talk about sad things.. we haven't done any kind of activity for a week (she won't even play the game we used to play together with me, she will play with her clan friends), we haven't done anything intimate for a week (it's not that time of the month), she texts me a lot less (i find myself initiating about 80% of all our conversations) etc etc..
If you ask me if i think shes cheating on me i will say no, i don't think so but i will say she has an ex she still talks too and she has openly told me someone else online has told her that he loves her but she said to him that they can only be friends (and they are friends). I have tried to talk to her about this but she always says similar things like, she needs her space, shes been lonely all her life so shes really insecure, she is only acting like this because she has never had someone who loves her as much as i do, she doesn't know how she can change her mind set, if she gets too close to someone she gets afraid, she says something is wrong with her inside and she doesn't think she deserves me. I always try and comfort her when she says things like this and sometimes she is okay for a bit but then it will come back the next day. She does still tell me that she loves me here on occassion and that she hopes its just a phase and she will get past it but i am really starting to wonder.
It got really bad one day and i threatened to leave her if she didn't tell me what was really happening (bad move i know). She got really upset and said she wanted to die.. i managed to calm her down and we talked it out but things have just gone back to being dull, no spark, no fun, nothing. I ask her daily if she wants to do something today, anything, but she either refuses or says she doesn't feel good. She plays more with her online friends than she does with me and it really makes me feel really pathetic and annoyed. She has even taken a few days off work because she's not well but still we don't do anything. Honestly it's driving me mad, it's starting to effect real life stuff and i just wonder if it's better for me to just end it.. i just like her so much though but my mind cannot understand why she is acting like this.
I'm no angel, i have gotten annoyed or mad at her a few times but it never lasted more than a few hours, we would always make up.
I'm just hoping for some advice, questions i can her, things i can say... how i can get through to her. Your opinions would be nice too, should i stay, do you think she doesn't feel the same way about me anymore and anything else you think might be helpful.
Sorry this post went on forever but i hope you can scim through it and help.
Thank you so much for your time.
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