If your SO said this, would you trust him/her thereafter?

[hmrambling]

if I were a jealous gf, and if I insisted that he should tell me every time an ex contacted him and the details of the conversation*, what he would do was to agree with me that he'd tell me, but in reality when that happened that he wouldn't because "what you don't know doesn't hurt you" and because he knows himself and he knows that he won't cheat emotionally or physically, he doesn't see the need to leave room for drama.

*bolded for emphasis

The first issue that I have here is:

#1. when someone demands that I report to them everything that I say to another person, that is not trust.

Second issue:

#2. There is an interesting spin on it that he says that he wouldn't tell you because what you don't know wouldn't hurt you. This seems like a nice way of avoiding telling you that you asking to be told everything that he has said to someone is a controlling demand on your part.

At the end of the day, we have to accept that the majority of people have had love interests before. That means that our current significant others actually had a life before us. And yes, our significant others actually loved other people and had sex with other people before they met us. Perhaps they are still friends with their exes.

I am not friends with my exes, for the most part, because in the past I have not exercised good boundaries with my exes. That means that I do not really socialize with my exes a lot. Every once in a while something will come up and we'll talk, but not that often. My SO, on the other hand, talks to one of her exes regularly. I'm okay with that. My SO has good boundaries. However, if either of us demanded that the other one report the conversations, that would not work because that is not trust.

Now it has made me question every single thing he's said and done.

If you are now questioning everything that he has said and done, the two of you do not have established trust. Trust is built over time and you two have been together for less than a year. Take time to get to know each other and then work on building trust.

Don't rush things and give yourself an opportunity to trust after you've learned more about it.

[lovestoread]

I don't know why an ex would want to contact you in the first place,unless you and your ex are still friends then that's okay