Alright, so this is an issue my partner and I have worked out for the most part, and it was a doozy of a problem because of the back and forth by my partner. I just need to put it out there-
Basic background
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We've only been seeing each other for five months now, and for the first bit of our relationship, all we could think was how crazy it is that we're doing this. We've both commented on how it seems like we've been together forever, for years and years, even though it's only been such a small time. A lot of people see how brief our relationship is and bring that up because of how atypical our relationship is. Anyway, meat and potatoes. My partner is finishing her Master's degree this May, and we discussed about whether she wants to move here, or spend another four years earning a PhD.
At first, we discussed what we each wanted, what the options were, the costs of her or I moving, the different possibilities, the pros and the cons, and we came to the decision that she would move here with me after she graduated in May. We started laying the groundwork, researching job opportunities, contacting immigration lawyers to help us with the process of getting her PRC, started mingling our finances, started paying bills together, etc. Naturally, I was elated as we are engaged, and it is nothing short of exciting to want to start your life with the one person in the world that is the one. However, after a week or two, she reneged on the decision and said she didn't know again. It felt devastating, and we went through the process again, outlying the pros and the cons, and the choices, and she again came to the decision that she would move here. A couple of weeks later, she balked again, and it's like, we made these plans, and you keep backing out, what's going on for real? We discussed the fears and the uncertainty, and ultimately I decided that it was unfair to include me in this process and come to a conclusion only to be backed out on it. I said that she needed to make the choice, and that I would support her 100%.
I have a pretty good feeling that I am going to be in an LDR for the long haul now, 5 years.
Basic background
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We've only been seeing each other for five months now, and for the first bit of our relationship, all we could think was how crazy it is that we're doing this. We've both commented on how it seems like we've been together forever, for years and years, even though it's only been such a small time. A lot of people see how brief our relationship is and bring that up because of how atypical our relationship is. Anyway, meat and potatoes. My partner is finishing her Master's degree this May, and we discussed about whether she wants to move here, or spend another four years earning a PhD.
At first, we discussed what we each wanted, what the options were, the costs of her or I moving, the different possibilities, the pros and the cons, and we came to the decision that she would move here with me after she graduated in May. We started laying the groundwork, researching job opportunities, contacting immigration lawyers to help us with the process of getting her PRC, started mingling our finances, started paying bills together, etc. Naturally, I was elated as we are engaged, and it is nothing short of exciting to want to start your life with the one person in the world that is the one. However, after a week or two, she reneged on the decision and said she didn't know again. It felt devastating, and we went through the process again, outlying the pros and the cons, and the choices, and she again came to the decision that she would move here. A couple of weeks later, she balked again, and it's like, we made these plans, and you keep backing out, what's going on for real? We discussed the fears and the uncertainty, and ultimately I decided that it was unfair to include me in this process and come to a conclusion only to be backed out on it. I said that she needed to make the choice, and that I would support her 100%.
I have a pretty good feeling that I am going to be in an LDR for the long haul now, 5 years.
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