Stressing Behaviour - Advice needed

[Oceans]

Thank you all for your answers, it's very nice of you. Many people here say he is acting abusive but it really doesn't feel like this.

Last week we fought a lot but since 3 days he is amazingly sweet, he says he is very sorry and it was just a misunderstanding. He says he didn't understand why I was acting like I was but now he does and he is very sorry. He is behaving so sweet and considerate, telling me he likes my music taste which he always found ridiculous and in general saying so many nice things about stuff he hated before. I don't know if he is lying or not and I'm scared to believe him.

*I worry about him, he blames everything on himself. I don't think he can deal with it for much longer but I don't know how to help him. I only disappoint him lately and he is very sad about it. He loves me so much but I make him feel scared. He says he wants me to open up to him and trust him but it's so difficult to do. I can't not question his behavior and go on, yet, how will I know when I overdo it?

It's just so confusing, I don't know why I'm even writing this. I'm very sorry for making this so long and I hope I don't offend anyone and thank you again.

I am honestly just worried after reading this thread. Maybe this is not cut and dry abuse ( as in he hits you) but it is emotional and it is abuse. I am sorry I know it is hard to face. I have been there . I am American I was married to a American man and he was very emotionally abusive.this is not a cultural thing, it’s not about being young, it’s about who you are on the inside. Yes people do make mistakes but if you do not learn, or care to learn, then it is not a mistake. While you are in the situation it is hard to see. Maybe you feel confused , like you are losing yourself , or that you must walk on egg shells to keep the peace. If you are not going to break up with him now, try having a heart to heart. List all the things that hurt you and speak to him about these things without attacking him. If he gets upset and yells or calls you names. If he makes poor excuses or refuses to listen, you have your answer. You can’t fix anyone and you have to keep you happiness too. I wish you the best.

[erwin1973]

Oh no, I know. I'm trying to be sympathetic with Ivory since she either truly believes that he forgets that he should not hurt her or she is so caught up in this abuse that she truly believes it is her fault

She still believes it. I'm not even going to say more than that. I think she has to find out the hard way, snow... Sadly for her, but if that's how it is, that's how it is...