There is the old adage that you shouldn't ask a question if you aren't prepared to hear the answer. I lived through this very saying last night; well sort of.
The issue stems from the fact that I was asking one question, and he was answering a completely different question. I was asking one thing, and he thought I was asking another and answered accordingly. His answer sort of broke my heart. And now I am wondering where we go from here.
You see, he and I are pretty hot for each other. And, I don't even mean that in a sexual way, but we both crave closeness and intimacy with each other and just want to be near each other. And my question is sort of chicken or the egg-esque. Did our attraction for each other directly lead to our feelings for each other? Or is our attraction a result of our feelings? Is this attraction we feel the normal feelings of people who start to fall for each other? Or is it the honeymoon stage and will eventually fade? Or will they intensify as we get to know each other?
I don't know what I was expecting him to say. Whether he had an answer or whether he didn't, just something comforting along the lines of...we'll figure it out together.
Instead, what he said was that he had been hoping for our rapport to get better and that our conversations hadn't been great and he suspected I felt the same way. I didn't feel the same way. This was a shock to me. I thought things were good. Really good. Things with him have just been so easy that I have really loved going down this path with him. So, the idea that he thought our rapport needed improving was a punch to the gut.
And, no, our conversations aren't particularly deep or intense. But, how deep can someone get via text message and the occasional phone call? I am so used to toxic situations, where things are complicated or overdramatic. So, the fact that things have been so easy breezy with him is exactly what I needed and I have thoroughly enjoyed getting to know him.
Anyway...I was so dumbfounded and heartsick that I really didn't know how to respond. I felt like the best course of action was to step away from the situation and re-group and have myself a good cry before I responded in haste. But, he said he wished I would talk about it. So, I did. And, he basically said we'd talk today. So....we'll see.
I thought things were going so well. So, the fact that he has this misgivings about things....I just don't know if we can overcome this or if I'm making a mountain out of a molehill.
The issue stems from the fact that I was asking one question, and he was answering a completely different question. I was asking one thing, and he thought I was asking another and answered accordingly. His answer sort of broke my heart. And now I am wondering where we go from here.
You see, he and I are pretty hot for each other. And, I don't even mean that in a sexual way, but we both crave closeness and intimacy with each other and just want to be near each other. And my question is sort of chicken or the egg-esque. Did our attraction for each other directly lead to our feelings for each other? Or is our attraction a result of our feelings? Is this attraction we feel the normal feelings of people who start to fall for each other? Or is it the honeymoon stage and will eventually fade? Or will they intensify as we get to know each other?
I don't know what I was expecting him to say. Whether he had an answer or whether he didn't, just something comforting along the lines of...we'll figure it out together.
Instead, what he said was that he had been hoping for our rapport to get better and that our conversations hadn't been great and he suspected I felt the same way. I didn't feel the same way. This was a shock to me. I thought things were good. Really good. Things with him have just been so easy that I have really loved going down this path with him. So, the idea that he thought our rapport needed improving was a punch to the gut.
And, no, our conversations aren't particularly deep or intense. But, how deep can someone get via text message and the occasional phone call? I am so used to toxic situations, where things are complicated or overdramatic. So, the fact that things have been so easy breezy with him is exactly what I needed and I have thoroughly enjoyed getting to know him.
Anyway...I was so dumbfounded and heartsick that I really didn't know how to respond. I felt like the best course of action was to step away from the situation and re-group and have myself a good cry before I responded in haste. But, he said he wished I would talk about it. So, I did. And, he basically said we'd talk today. So....we'll see.
I thought things were going so well. So, the fact that he has this misgivings about things....I just don't know if we can overcome this or if I'm making a mountain out of a molehill.
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