Any "over 40?" members?

[Benni]

Welcome! That is awesome, you go girl!!

[ali_gata]

Hi Guys

Well I am over 40, 44 actually lol. But unlike everyone else here I hadn't even managed to find anyone until now. So in some ways have one foot in one world and one in the other. My man that I met online dating is the same age as me and has been married once, but only for about 4 years and there are no kids.
I had often wondered if the one was out there but realized when I did meet him that I would not have ready in my mind or body. Obviously I'm a late bloomer.
And as he is Tongan and only arrived in New Zealand where I live around 2005 and since then has been married he would not have been available anyway.
We share many things together to such as ideas in life and faith and unlike so many men here has a really lovely gentlemanly like nature. The first day we met we chatted online for a couple of hours before moving to text in which we had 200+ texts by the end of the day, then an hour long phone call and then an hour long Skype call.
Since then we have mainly texted with a Skype video call every so often and email while he has been visiting home up in Tonga. Texting is very handy as he worked night shift so I would talk to him during the night as he had his breaks and our Skype calls would mainly be after his shift finished in the morning.
At the moment he is back up in Tonga again. He went up earlier this year to help a brother rebuild after a cyclone and is still there. Because of this we are on emails at the moment, as communication is hard from there I'm getting a message a month from him which I look forward to. A hate to think how many messages he gets from me a month but then this includes videos and photos which he is well any truly appreciating and loving from the response I am getting.
We also finally got to meet December last year, he did warn me when we first connected that it might be a few months before we actually met. Meeting went wonderfully and even though it was short I still thank the Lord for it as many other couple who have larger distances between them have not even managed that. Am looking forward to the day he arrives back in NZ and we finally meet again. There have been times when I have found the distance and at the moment lesser contact hard but often when I am feeling like this I'll get my monthly loving message from him and I'll wonder why I was so worried about some silly little thing. And I have all the photos he has sent me of him self, all his emails and what remains of his texts after deleting some thinking my phone was full. I love and trust him with all my heart and know he feels the same.

[Moon]

Welcome to LFAD, ali. Nothing wrong with being a "late bloomer", some people just are

[alynnmass]

Never been in a LDR....it's HARD..... we talk/email/text all the time...seen each other 7 times in past 8 months.. does it get easier? how do others help stay positive and not hurt so much being apart?

[R&R]

Never been in a LDR....it's HARD..... we talk/email/text all the time...seen each other 7 times in past 8 months.. does it get easier? how do others help stay positive and not hurt so much being apart?

Believe it or not, 7 times in 8 months is really good. I find if I dwell on the distance and how long it is in between visits that it makes it harder. Spending time focusing on the positives of the relationship, planning special things for him and our talks of our move to TX next year help alleviate the difficulty of being apart.

[punkin105]

I am over 40 (43) also and new to this website. I work full time and am a single Mother of two girls ages 13 & 7. I have been in a LDR for almost 3 months, we live about 700 miles apart. I have lived alone, taken care of myself for along time and haven't been in a relationship in years... So thought this would not be that hard, I knew I felt a strong connection with him so figured why not see where it goes. It is going well. However, I have to admit it's harder than I thought. I miss him so much.

[Salvaged]

At 50, I'm definitely a member of the 40+ club! I too have trouble relating to some of the "youngsters" who think the world is ending if they're alone for a week.

I dated my current SO for a little while in '96 but the timing couldn't have been worse, as we were both coming off of absolutely toxic relationships without having had time to heal. We broke up but remained friends, with greater or lesser amounts of contact as our individual situations allowed. I always regretted the break-up, blaming myself for letting "the one" get away.

In '99 I married someone else, knowing as I did that I was settling for "second-best." It was a disaster; her infidelities brought the marriage to a quick and horrible end in 2000. I tried dating again for 2 years but in '02 I gave up completely; having missed out on my soul mate I decided that whatever time I had left in this lifetime would be spent with only my "furry kids" for love (I rescue cats and the occasional dog) - maybe I'd get lucky and find my soul mate again in the next lifetime.

My SO married and had her daughter in '03. Her husband's infidelity ended her marriage in '09; by 2010 she had given up the same way I had. We remained in contact; each of us dropped hints from time to time about how we still felt about the other, but we were both afraid we were imaging things, imagining what we truly wanted to hear.

Last moth she worked up the courage to begin to say how she really felt after all this time; she started the sentences while I finished them. It was, and still is, more wonderful than I can describe! We'll finally see each other for the first time in 18 years sometime next spring. We'll probably be married by next fall, though it may be another year or two after that before I can finally move to her. That doesn't matter so much though, as we're in love and can finally say it after so many years, and we both know that we'll never be alone again.

If you've read this far, thanks! Now if you'll please excuse me, she'll be calling in about 5 minutes and I don't want any distractions! I wish you all the same happiness and love I feel!

[barb757]

hi i'm 58 divorced twice, 2 grown children 41 and 33 with grandchildren. My so is 65 with an 8 year old ( he started late). We've been together for almost a year. Funny that i met him a week after my husband ask for a divorce and i filed papers. He says it was meant to be. This is my first ldr and it's very hard. We plan on being together before christmas. Have made plans for the last six months and something always has us pushing back the date. My so lives in New York and i live in west virginia. Met through a business text that's lasted.

[Elizabeth123]

Welcome barb757 and Salvaged

[mococatx]

Add me to the list! Second marriage of 22 years is at an end, though not officially yet, and was contacted by a long lost love who also recently ended a marriage of 20 years. Most of our kids are grown or almost grown. And I can sympathize with the spotty Internet reception of my SO. Plus we have a language barrier to overcome! But I'm learning and Portuguese is a language I love. We will be meeting for the first time in 29 years in July.

[Alicloud]

And me. I am 48 and separated. I have three children who I share care with. 14,12 and 9. Divorced once, soon to be twice. Met my SO briefly at college over 20 years ago and fell in love through that magical mental connection first, just through the written word of fb messaging where we reconnected after all that time. Seen each other every 4-5 months over almost 2 years and have been flying half way around the world each time, sometimes for ridiculously short amounts of time considering the distance. Its the most wonderful perplexing interesting frustrating beautiful strange journey of love I've ever taken that's for sure and who knows what the outcome will be? Life is for living at my age I think so I'm going with it...!

[Elizabeth123]

Welcome mococatx and Alicloud....best wishes to you and your SO (both couples)

[darladee]

I am 52

[Shanam]

I am 44. I have been with my SO for 8 1/2 months. We have a great story. We made our connection last July 4th weekend at our 25th class reunion. The connection we both felt the 1st night was like nothing else I have ever felt. I live in SD and he lives in CO. We never stopped texting or calling since and soon after decided to make a LDR work. We have both visited each other and meet half way. We talk almost everyday and text basically every day. I'm suppose to go there in 2 days.. However, we are having some issues and I don't know if he wants me to.. This is no fault of my own.. I'll find tonight what is going to happen. This last 6days I have felt hurt, confused, and many other things. I still love him and an so scared of losing him.

[TaraMarie]

I am 44. I have been with my SO for 8 1/2 months. We have a great story. We made our connection last July 4th weekend at our 25th class reunion. The connection we both felt the 1st night was like nothing else I have ever felt. I live in SD and he lives in CO. We never stopped texting or calling since and soon after decided to make a LDR work. We have both visited each other and meet half way. We talk almost everyday and text basically every day. I'm suppose to go there in 2 days.. However, we are having some issues and I don't know if he wants me to.. This is no fault of my own.. I'll find tonight what is going to happen. This last 6days I have felt hurt, confused, and many other things. I still love him and an so scared of losing him.

Also a member of the "older club". I am officially 50 1/2! Lol. My SO IS YOUNGER....41... And he is my soul mate and best friend in the world! I hope you are able to work out your issues. Love the second time around is AMAZING, my SO told me today he wished we could have a baby. That is amazing for two reasons..... 1) he was married before and never had children, nor did he want them, and 2) I am finally excited that the chance if me getting pregnant are slim to none! I have a 25 year old daughter. There's a much better chance of me being a grandmother before I become a mother again(thank you, Lord!).