Friend in CDR can be very frustrating!!!

[Talent_2]

I actually kind of have the opposite problem. My friends here are all single or they like someone who doesn't reciprocate so I feel guilty mentioning my relationship because they aren't in one/are having trouble. I always feel like me talking about my SO is rubbing it in their face that I have someone and they don't. Which is kind of silly because they're my friends and they say it doesn't bother them. It does make me a little wistful when I see random couples in public holding hands and stuff though.

I know what you mean before my friend met her current BF when i wasnt visiting my SO or working i would be with her, i mean i would mention my SO if he came into conversation or she asked about him other than that i tried to not rub it in her face, but then she got with her bf and to begin with things were great we were like the three amigos lol, but as time went on they just got more and more .....(umm not sure of the right word here) mushy and kissy with each other and i kinda felt like the odd one out even when my SO comes to visit and we double date they make my SO really uncomfortable with their kissing and cuddling, i mean theres being affectionate, and i myself have kissed myself in public but i dont make out with him, they are just OTT all the time.

Dont get me wrong im really happy for her she deserves to be happy after some off the idiots shes been with but its like ive lost a friend since shes been with him i rarely see her alone anymore and seeing them when they are together can be uncomfortable especially if we are out for a meal just the three of us and they start kissing at the table.

On the other hand my other friend who had a really bad break up around the time i start seeing my SO has been really supportive doesnt hold it against me being in a relationship when shes not, and we always make time to just hang out.

I dunno friends can be real confusing and frustrating sometimes

[LadyMarchHare]

I actually kind of have the opposite problem. My friends here are all single or they like someone who doesn't reciprocate so I feel guilty mentioning my relationship because they aren't in one/are having trouble. I always feel like me talking about my SO is rubbing it in their face that I have someone and they don't. Which is kind of silly because they're my friends and they say it doesn't bother them. It does make me a little wistful when I see random couples in public holding hands and stuff though.

I had that problem, actually. My ex best friend's single, was still recovering from her last LDR 2 years ago where the guy was a psycho and was trying to get the attention of a co-worker who was so far from her type it wasn't even funny. I refrained from talking about my SO beyond sharing jokes he/I made I knew she'd find funny to spare feelings and I think that's what bit me in the butt because she decided when I had the idea to go see him that he was this and that and I was a whore, he was 'turning me black' and all sorts of insane accusations.

It's hard deciding how much to talk about your SOs around single friends, but I think so long as you're not doing the verbal equivalent of making out with them in front of the person then it's not so bad for either of you. They know you wanna talk about them. I let all my friends gush about their SOs or crushes when I was single and didn't hold any grudges.

[NaNi]

My best friend also kinda gets on my nerves sometimes. She could see her boyfriend every single day and gets sad when her weekend with him is already over, but she tells me that 9 months of being apart from my SO isn't "too bad". :/

[Pixie]

I had that problem, actually. My ex best friend's single, was still recovering from her last LDR 2 years ago where the guy was a psycho and was trying to get the attention of a co-worker who was so far from her type it wasn't even funny. I refrained from talking about my SO beyond sharing jokes he/I made I knew she'd find funny to spare feelings and I think that's what bit me in the butt because she decided when I had the idea to go see him that he was this and that and I was a whore, he was 'turning me black' and all sorts of insane accusations.

It's hard deciding how much to talk about your SOs around single friends, but I think so long as you're not doing the verbal equivalent of making out with them in front of the person then it's not so bad for either of you. They know you wanna talk about them. I let all my friends gush about their SOs or crushes when I was single and didn't hold any grudges.

Yeah, when he first moved away I was a huge mess and they were there to support me and listen to me blubber senselessly about him for a few weeks. I really appreciated that. But now I can't help but think they must be sick of hearing about my relationship... and they're always talking about their issues with the person they like or whatever and I'm hesitant to mention my SO since they've already listened to me so much and I don't want to remind them that they don't have the person they want. I have this problem where I overthink things... hahaha.

[BlackCherryJam]

My friend is in the same situation with me so I don't usually have that problem BUT last summer was quite painful to me when her SO was here and I had to see their re-union as I had just came back from England! That was really hard for me to watch! On the other hand they deserved it all because they hadn't seen each other in 6 months but yeah... It was hard time for me!

[Paris]

Well I may sound harsh but just because you choose to have an SO that is long distance it doesn't mean your friends should have to stop their affections for their SO just because you can't see yours or you miss yours. I think it's a little selfish to ask that, you chose that relationship. I would never expect my friends to act differently around me because my bf lives overseas. If you are uncomfortable around them then you should leave, they shouldn't have to stop. I have seen some insane PDA from my friends and I just walk away or leave when it's what i don't want to be around. I choose to have a bf that lives overseas and I wouldn't feel right asking others around me to walk on egg shells about their relationship just because my bf lives far away.

[LadyMarchHare]

Well I may sound harsh but just because you choose to have an SO that is long distance it doesn't mean your friends should have to stop their affections for their SO just because you can't see yours or you miss yours. I think it's a little selfish to ask that, you chose that relationship. I would never expect my friends to act differently around me because my bf lives overseas. If you are uncomfortable around them then you should leave, they shouldn't have to stop. I have seen some insane PDA from my friends and I just walk away or leave when it's what i don't want to be around. I choose to have a bf that lives overseas and I wouldn't feel right asking others around me to walk on egg shells about their relationship just because my bf lives far away.

I think you misread all that. No one's asking people stop the affection in person, HOWEVER, there is a line and the people telling stories here are ones that cross said line of manners. By all means they can hold hands and kiss, but when you're making out constantly or sneaking off for sex then there needs to be an intervention because regardless of your own relationship status, it's just flat out rude.

[Rugger]

One of my best friends does that all the time. She whines that her boyfriend lives 15 minutes away and that sucks, meanwhile T and I are 6 hours from each other. Or her SO went to China for two weeks and she was bitching the whole time. I flat out told her the next time she mentioned it, I was going to deck her because I hadn't seen T in a month.

[DemonxOisin]

Jeez, I DEFINITELY feel you. I have a friend that puts up a never ending rant about how she doesn't spend enough time with her boyfriend (who goes to the same school, both of them have last period spare) to me. Sometimes I just feel like saying "Uh, HELLO? Think about who you are talking to!" Like honestly, way to be insensitive.