what do u think is harder ??

[mllebamako]

I'm going to have to agree with this. I have yet to meet my SO, and while some days I'm grateful when I compare to people that started CD because I don't know what I'm missing yet, some days it's makes me feel terribly envious because you have the memories to get you through the day. Some days I would give anything just to know what it felt like to have him hold me.

Good point!

[Rugger]

I think both are equally hard. I've been in both Kinds. My current relationship went from CD to LDR. We attended the same college and saw each other every single day. It was very hard to adjust.

[mattheww65]

I met my SO while I was travelling, and pretty much lived with her for 3 months in a group of about 15 people. We didn't get together while we were travelling because we're both very loyal people and each had a partner back at home. Both of our existing relationships ended for various reasons, so when she came over to visit we just kinda hooked up and it went from there!

There was always 'something there' between us, we both felt it but kinda repressed it because it wasn't allowed. Was amazing when we could actually open up and be together, even if it is LDR for now!

[true_survivor_586]

maybe the LDR is only as hard as you make it, because i try to think of my situation in every positive way, though i think im in the worst situation EVER and its harder for me then ANYONE else, i mostly think pretty good of stuff, ya know everyone had a bad day, i force myself to have more good then any

[DarkSolitary]

Personally I believe they're both equal in difficulty because everyone's circumstances beyond the general "met on internet" or "met in person" is different and we all deal with the distance in different ways. I could say those who start off CD have it worse because they know what they're missing, but there are days I've seen those who have never met struggle far more than the person who got to be with their SO and now isn't. It's an individual case thing.

Very true.

[Luisina]

I've never tried meeting someone online so I can't really say which is harder.. but I DO know that going from CD to LD after 4 months of basically living together was hard enough!!
It still is....

[Břlle]

Well, like most of you have said, I guess both are difficult.

In my opinion the reason CD to LDR is so tough is kinda the same for ongoing LDRs.. When you come from CD, you KNOW of all the things you are missing, when you are not together with your loved one - and when you haven't met yet, you can't WAIT to GET TO KNOW, right?

Whether one is tougher than the other is hard to say I guess. Personally I would vote for CD to LDR, but that is also my current situation.... not that THAT would color my vote in any way ..but at any time during the day I can look at my hand and know EXACTLY what it would feel like to hold my GF's hand in mine.. I think that the added physical knowledge and the extra senses that have come into play just make it that much tougher.

[LadyMarchHare]

Well, like most of you have said, I guess both are difficult.

In my opinion the reason CD to LDR is so tough is kinda the same for ongoing LDRs.. When you come from CD, you KNOW of all the things you are missing, when you are not together with your loved one - and when you haven't met yet, you can't WAIT to GET TO KNOW, right?

Whether one is tougher than the other is hard to say I guess. Personally I would vote for CD to LDR, but that is also my current situation.... not that THAT would color my vote in any way ..but at any time during the day I can look at my hand and know EXACTLY what it would feel like to hold my GF's hand in mine.. I think that the added physical knowledge and the extra senses that have come into play just make it that much tougher.

Well, I also wanted to add in to this and Luisina's comment: we can only go by what we know. Like Luisina, she only knows CD to LD so naturally it's hardest for her. Me, I know only pure online so it's hardest for me. We can wax poetic about why they're still equal but really we can't know why until we've experienced both (I don't count visiting them) and I think only one person who commented in this thread's known both.

[nicole]

I wouldn't know, but I think I would cope better if the LDR started of LDR in the first place. The fact my SO and I went from living together and being basically inseperable since the day we met.... to go from being able to touch him everyday to seeing him for a only couple of hours on skype was terrible!

Though of course I don't have to deal with the "You met online so it isn't real" stuff that I know a lot of people on here have at the misfortune to experience, which isn't fair at all. I think though we're all in the same boat, CD to LD and those who have always been LD do face some different hardships the other doesn't. I dunno if that last bit made sense at all but whatevs

[FireflyGal]

I've gotta say, I'm gonna go with the ones that are LD to start with--which I've never done before. Don't get me wrong. I felt miserably, physically ill for the first month or so that my SO and I were apart, and sometimes that feeling comes back. But I do think that a lot of what gets me through each day is being able to remember all of his funny mannerisms that you pick up spending physical time with each other, remembering what he smells like, remembering exactly what color his eyes are, remembering exactly what it feels like to rest my head on his shoulder.

For those of you that are in LD relationships that never were CD: I am so impressed by your strength! I think I personally would not have been able to do it. In part, because I would have a very hard time opening up to someone that I had never been able to meet in person and spend time getting comfortable with, but also in part because I'm not sure how I would keep myself going every day.

When I think about it, a lot of the time, I feel so lucky that I have spent significant amounts of time with John. I still get to see him a lot more often than many of my LFADers. And while there is something to be said for the fact that the constant goodbyes and hellos are an emotional rollercoaster (hard in its own right), I seriously don't know how I could survive without it.

So, props to all of us for doing something really really hard! And sticking with it! And yay for having friends here that we've never met (LDFriendships?) who can help support us in it

[mllebamako]

So, props to all of us for doing something really really hard! And sticking with it! And yay for having friends here that we've never met (LDFriendships?) who can help support us in it

Right on! And yay for LDFs!

[ioanna]

Reading everyone's opinion on this is very interesting
Personally, i have been through both. i was in an LDR for 9 months when i was 13 with someone i met online. we never got to meet. although it wasn't easy, and communication means were very limited, it was very enriching, both emotionally and intellectually.

Right now, my SO and I have been LD for a year and 4 months (wow! already??!!). before that we were CD for 4 years. the transition was very difficult for me, and i still have a hard time dealing with it. On the other hand, the fact that we've been together for so long, and got to know each other so well really helps with many issues that would have come up along the way. for instance, if we had met online, i doubt we would have made it as a couple. i would have dealt with a lot of insecurity, and would have suffered from his lack of expressiveness (<--- don't know if that word actually exists) whereas now i actually know how he reacts to things, how he deals with issues in his life, and all of the ways he has of showing he loves me that he never expresses through words...

so i guess for us CD to LD is for the best even though it feels like our life together started, is now on pause, and will pick up later... thats the hardest part of it for me i guess..

[Paris]

Well my bf was originally only a three hour drive away, not much distance there but now he is about 5500 miles away in another country. I use to see him often when he lived close by, every other weekend is how it came out basically. We also had more contact at that time, now not so much. The time difference and his internet troubles get in the way but I honestly wouldn't trade any moment with him even if we don't talk as much right now.

I think it's harder when you are around the person a lot or often and talk to them often and then go to suddenly having little to no contact. My bf left in July and Saturday was the first time we spoke in any length since he left. It was really nice to talk to him but it really made me miss him even more. I know now he has internet so he is always logged into certain services like before only now it doesn't mean he is online at that time. I am always logged into certain sites all the time myself but I am not always infront of my computer. So now I really don't know if he is online when it says he is. He usually always responds when he isn't working and when he is busy he tells me if he can. It's a hard adjustment but he is worth it and I will see him in about 6 weeks. I nervous but really excited. I do know it will be really hard to leave him but he is only there for two years.

[elina]

I've never experienced what going from CD to LD is like, but I'd imagine that would be harder than starting LD. Yeah, it's pure agony, wanting to know what it feels like to touch the other person or be around them when you haven't met them yet, but having them there with you all the time and that changing into months and months of waiting to be back in their arms sounds harder to me. Although it is kinda like that after a longer visit as well.. you've got so used to them being around, it kills to go back to being apart.

Ugh.. it's not easy either way.

[Maru]

there's a lot of points of view!! i'm glad that you all wanted to share your experiences!. For me is also difficult, i met my SO online, but we were only friends, and when he came visit me, we decided to be together because we already know each other and we liked each other also! and i spent like 3 weeks with him after he left again. so i know what i'm missing , but since the beginning i knew we're gonna be in a LDR it helped because we talked about it and if we both could do it. and theeeen i decided to search some information or tips to make it easier and guess what?? i found this site hahaha maybe without this site i would be like crazy... didn't know what to do!, so thanks Michelle and Frank!! also all of you for the support!!!!