And, maybe a little comfort. I'm not looking for advice, or opinions, really. Just need to vent.
Mike (my SO) and I have been together for two and a half years now. We've been talking about closing the distance, which is a real pain in the ass because I'm in the US and he's in England. We've been talking about it a good long while now, and every time I've had doubts about how we can manage it, he's been right there to tell me it WILL work out somehow, that we will make it work together.
Now that it's kind of closing in on the time where we'd need to get things going with the visa, he's gone into a bit of a panic mode. Wednesday, when we were booking tickets for him to come here in November (we didn't get them booked), it hit him all at once. This trip, we planned to talk it all over, make our plan, and get things rolling. And, any doubt he may have ignored in his mind, all came roaring to the surface. Had we been talking about his doubts all this time, I think it wouldn't be so overwhelming now. And, I've tried all along to be sure he was ok with things, and see what his doubts were. I think he just didn't see them there. So, now there all rumbling around making him feel like it's impossible and he's not sure he can handle it. At this point, he doesn't know if he's coming over in November. He doesn't know if he can make the move here... And, there's nothing I can do except try to reassure him that it's normal to have concerns, and to be afraid a bit of making that big of a leap of faith, and to show him how we can make it all work. But, it's breaking my heart not knowing if our hopes and dreams together will become our reality.
Our plan, was for him to come here for two years so we could save up together and then move back to England. Realistically, this is pretty much the only way that I will be able to end up there with him. The idea of being away from his family scares him a bit. He's not sure how he'd handle that. The idea of finding a job here worries him. And I get it. He has no doubt about whether or not he wants to be with me, just his doubt about whether or not he can handle being in the US for a couple of years.
I've been in a fog of tears since Wednesday, and it's just hard being in these shoes right now. I keep hoping that he will see that he can do it- I know he can, he is a strong person. And he's the one who's been telling ME he could when I've asked him in the past. I know it's just a matter of his worries clouding things up, but it scares me that he might get lost in them, as he is right now, and give up.
If you read all this, you deserve an award:
Thanks. I just needed to get it out before it all breaks me.
Mike (my SO) and I have been together for two and a half years now. We've been talking about closing the distance, which is a real pain in the ass because I'm in the US and he's in England. We've been talking about it a good long while now, and every time I've had doubts about how we can manage it, he's been right there to tell me it WILL work out somehow, that we will make it work together.
Now that it's kind of closing in on the time where we'd need to get things going with the visa, he's gone into a bit of a panic mode. Wednesday, when we were booking tickets for him to come here in November (we didn't get them booked), it hit him all at once. This trip, we planned to talk it all over, make our plan, and get things rolling. And, any doubt he may have ignored in his mind, all came roaring to the surface. Had we been talking about his doubts all this time, I think it wouldn't be so overwhelming now. And, I've tried all along to be sure he was ok with things, and see what his doubts were. I think he just didn't see them there. So, now there all rumbling around making him feel like it's impossible and he's not sure he can handle it. At this point, he doesn't know if he's coming over in November. He doesn't know if he can make the move here... And, there's nothing I can do except try to reassure him that it's normal to have concerns, and to be afraid a bit of making that big of a leap of faith, and to show him how we can make it all work. But, it's breaking my heart not knowing if our hopes and dreams together will become our reality.
Our plan, was for him to come here for two years so we could save up together and then move back to England. Realistically, this is pretty much the only way that I will be able to end up there with him. The idea of being away from his family scares him a bit. He's not sure how he'd handle that. The idea of finding a job here worries him. And I get it. He has no doubt about whether or not he wants to be with me, just his doubt about whether or not he can handle being in the US for a couple of years.
I've been in a fog of tears since Wednesday, and it's just hard being in these shoes right now. I keep hoping that he will see that he can do it- I know he can, he is a strong person. And he's the one who's been telling ME he could when I've asked him in the past. I know it's just a matter of his worries clouding things up, but it scares me that he might get lost in them, as he is right now, and give up.
If you read all this, you deserve an award:
Thanks. I just needed to get it out before it all breaks me.
I needed that. I do know where he's coming from. I totally understand. I've moved several times, and there's always some reservations. I've not moved internationally, but when you move from the middle-of-nowhere Vermont to middle-of-nowhere Alabama, you may as well have moved to middle-of-nowhere India. It's that much of a change. I've moved away from family, friends and everything I know. So, I know what it's like, and what he's going through. I know it's scary. I just knew those fears were all there, and was handling them as they came. But, as much as I understand- I mean, really understand- it still hurts like hell to be where we're at now- not knowing.
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