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Update: We are going back to LDR

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    Update: We are going back to LDR

    As many of you might know, my boyfriend Jared moved an hour away from me two months ago so that we could be closer. However, things didn't go out exactly as we would have liked. Jared and I had a talk last night. He was trying to decide what would be the best thing to do for our relationship in the long run, and he was stuck on what to do. Basically, he is running extremely low on cash now since he hasn't found a job yet, he will be cut off of his dad's insurance in April, and he has been very stressed out because he hasn't made in friends here. He told me that he would stay until the middle of March and see if he could find a job, but I told him just to go back now because it would just waste more of his money and he needs to get back on his feet.

    This is a very hard decision, and I am very sad that he is leaving, but I think this will be best for us. The past two months, we have both been very stressed out because of his situation, and that has caused many fights. Honestly, I would rather us be 800 miles away and happy than 50 miles away and bickering all of the time. We both agree that he made the move too soon and that he didn't plan it out enough. I hope that others will maybe learn something from this. Going from LDR to CDR(sort of), takes a lot of planning, and you just can't jump into it and expect everything to work out smoothly.

    Jared talked to the manager at his old job, and they told him that he can come back and start as soon as he likes, so he is going to start working there again on a week from this upcoming Monday. His dad has a house there that has been on sale for over a year but has not been able to sale. He told Jared that he could live there temporarily. Jared said that he is going to try getting an internship or a better job, and after a year he will try moving here again, this time finding a job here first. If that doesn't work, out, I graduate in two years, so we will be together then. We also plan to see each other once a month like we did before.

    Hopefully, this will be better in the long run, even though it will be hard. I will miss being able to just get dinner with him, but this is for the best.

    #2
    I am sorry now you have to go back to LDR but keep looking forward, one day you will all be together once and for all!! Best wishes and lots of hugs!

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      #3
      Sounds like that's the best thing for you guys to do. LIke you said, being happy is the most important thing. And it's still pretty nice that you're going to see each other every month, I'm jealous! Lol!


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        #4
        Well, its a good thing and a bad thing... but im glad you two were able to compromise and figure things out! Solving the problems together is very important for every relationship.
        You lasted an LDR for quite some time, you can do it again... and it's for the best. I believe that when you plan things out more carefully, it will be a happy CDR.
        Im glad you two stayed strong and dealt with it...

        Im just as jealous as Tanja. Once a month... woah. I know its not the same, but still, youre lucky
        Best of luck!

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          #5
          Well done for staying positive and not letting a setback like this bring you both really down, and even to breaking-point.

          Least now you know what to expect for the next (and hopefully last) time you move to be closer together and can make the transition more smoothly

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            #6
            This is my situation exactly. Things worked out sooooo much better for Dave and I after all when I moved back, there was a lot more happiness and less stress. I think we also made the move too quickly with not enough planning and so this time Dave is moving here after a year and a half of planning! It is going to work out much better I think.

            I hope things go well for Jared and yourself. It looks like you're both being very mature about it.

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              #7
              *hugs* Things will get better. ^^ after all, anything that's worth having is worth waiting and working for.

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                #8
                Aw, I'm sorry to hear it. But I think it's great that you guys are realistic enough to realize that something's not working, and mature enough to separate even though you guys will miss the convenience of being close. Everything will work out for the best though! Things like this usually do.

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                  #9
                  As sad as it is, I'm very happy that you and Jared have made the decision so it will easier for you both, even though it will not be as 'cool' as being an hour apart.
                  You've really helped me understand that your situation could happen to George and I and many other couples. Stress on a relationship is not good, especially whenever you, deep down, love one another and you're both trying your hardest.

                  I know you both will be together soon once again.
                  As Jackie... I mean, someone told me, "You have your whole life to live together."

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                    #10
                    Thanks everyone! I know that this is worth waiting for. I really admire Jared though for trying this out. I know that he had a really tough time making this decision, but he asked me for my input first, which was important to me. We have definitely made some very good memories, so I wouldn't change a thing He is driving back to NC tonight, so hopefully we will get to spend as much times together as possible before he leaves. We will get to celebrate Valentines day together, so I am happy

                    And I was thinking the exact same thing Molly >.< It reminded me of you and Dave! I am glad that he will be with you in two weeks!

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                      #11

                      I'm sorry to hear that, too, but you're so positive about it that it feels weird to tell you I feel for you. I just have to compliment on your selflessness and strength, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have been able to do that myself, despite being older than you.
                      And once a month is really pretty good, in the grand scheme of things! I wish you a lovely Valentine's weekend!

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                        #12
                        I'm sorry things turned out that way, but I really believe it was for the best. Moving is never a small step and it's often better to wait longer than jump right into it and end up miserable.
                        I think just seeing how maturely you're handling this is proof enough that you two are meant to be, so keep strong - as hard at it is, I know you can make it!

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                          #13
                          I'm sorry to hear that you'll be going back to an LDR, but like others have said, it sounds like it really is for the best (at least for now). Good for you two for being able to work through this and making it a joint decision. I know that things will work out for you guys eventually, and hope this can help you both feel more happy again!

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