Like many people here, my personal opinion is to share it. I've really seen my relationship with my SO deepen as we've learned to trust each other with some of our deepest, most profound secrets. It can be tough, and the understanding that comes after is sometimes a bit slow to dawn, but I know that in my situation, it has really helped us trust each other more, know each other more deeply, and rely on each other without hesitation.
Also, I applaud you for your courage and honesty, and coming to terms with something that happened in your life that might not be one of your favorite memories. This takes a lot of maturity and a lot of bravery. Way to go! Also, I urge you to seek some help--not necessarily clinical or professional--but from someone you trust (a mentor, friend, someone who shares your faith or beliefs or values), who can help you realize who you are despite the things that have happened to you or the things you have done.
Finally, and this makes me sound really old (and I'm only 23, but hey, whatever)....sometimes it is hard to realize that even though, at 16, we are able to choose things for ourselves and we are able to consent intellectually, we are still minors. Even if we consent to something or engage willingly in something, it is the responsibility of the adults around us to make sure that they are not contributing to our making decisions that we might later regret. At 16, we should be able to trust those around us to help us make positive choices and decisions, not ones that will negatively impact our growth, our self-esteem, and our future relationships.
I hurt for you and I wish I had a magic wand to help with the confusion and the mess of feelings these things cause--I know how tough it is to way whether or not to share these life-altering experiences. As it is, know you've got a solid support here, and that I (like many of my fellow LFADers, I know!) have you in my thoughts and prayers.
Also, I applaud you for your courage and honesty, and coming to terms with something that happened in your life that might not be one of your favorite memories. This takes a lot of maturity and a lot of bravery. Way to go! Also, I urge you to seek some help--not necessarily clinical or professional--but from someone you trust (a mentor, friend, someone who shares your faith or beliefs or values), who can help you realize who you are despite the things that have happened to you or the things you have done.
Finally, and this makes me sound really old (and I'm only 23, but hey, whatever)....sometimes it is hard to realize that even though, at 16, we are able to choose things for ourselves and we are able to consent intellectually, we are still minors. Even if we consent to something or engage willingly in something, it is the responsibility of the adults around us to make sure that they are not contributing to our making decisions that we might later regret. At 16, we should be able to trust those around us to help us make positive choices and decisions, not ones that will negatively impact our growth, our self-esteem, and our future relationships.
I hurt for you and I wish I had a magic wand to help with the confusion and the mess of feelings these things cause--I know how tough it is to way whether or not to share these life-altering experiences. As it is, know you've got a solid support here, and that I (like many of my fellow LFADers, I know!) have you in my thoughts and prayers.
Comment