I think my LDR is over.

[Tanja]

Isn't there any way you could transfer to a shcool closer to each other or something? It's ovbious he wants to be with you but tbh it sounds like if you don't get together soon and meet up or start dating publicly it's likely he could meet someone else in the future. It makes it worse that he hasn't told anyone about you, with his friends not knowing he's in a LDR they're gonna treat him like he's single and he has to act on it in front of them...

Your situation sounds tricky, I know you feel happy now that he's admitted he loves you but if something doesn't change (you meeting up or you both telling everyone about your LDR) I can't see how it could last for years to come. I don't mean to sound harsh but if I was you I wouldn't keep it a secret anymore, especially since it seems like you both are going to try and make this work no matter what.

Good luck!

[Mio]

I hope it works out for your own hapiness!

[Taija]

It still sounds to me like you're on shaky grounds and, as I always say, actions speak louder than words. But nonetheless, I wish you good luck, I hope everything works out for the two of you!

[aggie]

That sounds a bit strange to me, but hey, he made you happy.
I still think that we should live our lives to the fullest... so as long as youre happy, hold on to it and stay that way!
I'm just hoping he thought through it and knows what he wants, really.
Goooood luuuuck!
and smile!

[Veiled_Dreamer]

It definitely is a strange situation. I can't agree more, but it's also one that makes me happy, at least for now.

Tanja, I wish there was a way for me to move out there. I refuse to make it a race to see who can get to him the fastest, between me and his ex, because if he gets with her just because she's there sooner, then he wasn't meant for me anyway. She hasn't thought any of it through, honestly, from both what she's told me and he's observed. I'm talking to my school counselors about early graduation; it's looking like it's not too far before it's all systems go and I get out in like a year and a half. I had also already found a college I adored- turns out, I looked up locations and it's about 15 minutes from his city. Go figure, right?

And I didn't keep it secret at first- my parents were all over me with their pessimism, so I started keeping it a secret. He had an LDR before me and his family very strongly opposed it too. So, basically both our families hate LDRs with a passion and there's no point.

[Sarah M]

Definitely sounds odd and difficult, but if you're happy then that's fine! I'm sure it's not the best thing that could be, but at the moment, it seems to be working okay for you. Though I agree with the others - he shouldn't kleep it a secret from those other girls. If it makes them jealous and want him more, then so be it. It's his reaction to that which will tell you all about him.

[Bluestars]

I agree with Tanja and Taija. However, I think that even before you think about applying to go to a school near him--if I remember correctly, you two have a large age gap--you guys should try to meet in person. It might not be cheap or easy, but it would definitely be worth it. My boyfriend and I didn't become official until we met in person. Before then, there was the possibility that we could have met other people. However, there is no substitution for meeting each other face to face. That might help your boyfriend see things differently.

[lunamea]

I agree to the others and am a little concerned as to the status quo not really having changed a lot by his words. He's given you more than he did before, though, so if you feel you can work from there, that's good! I also think it's of utmost importance that the two of you meet up. I guess then you can tell for sure where you're going.

[Veiled_Dreamer]

I agree with Tanja and Taija. However, I think that even before you think about applying to go to a school near him--if I remember correctly, you two have a large age gap--you guys should try to meet in person. It might not be cheap or easy, but it would definitely be worth it. My boyfriend and I didn't become official until we met in person. Before then, there was the possibility that we could have met other people. However, there is no substitution for meeting each other face to face. That might help your boyfriend see things differently.

I was looking at schools and I really liked one; I find out after I had gone, "squee flail rawr, this school is exactly the kind of thing I'm looking for!" (did not mean for that to rhyme XD) that it happened to be nearby. I like the school enough that even if he says he hates me out of the blue, I'd probably still go. It's a prestigious university that's up to my personal standards, but I certainly would never consider just going to a mediocre school just for him. And yeah, you were right about the age gap.

There is no possible way we could ever meet in like a few months or anything. Even after I convinced my mother he was definitely not a stalkerish freak and it was okay for me to mail/call him, she only let me keep talking to him because she thought he was something like an "Internet boyfriend." Every time I suggested meeting -maybe we could take a family trip even, I didn't care- she laughed. So yeah, I doubt that will happen until I go to college, even if I don't go to college near him.

[Bluestars]

Maybe he could come see you instead? Your mother would probably be more accepting if he went that far to see you. My mother wouldn't let me go meet up with my boyfriend until she met him several times. This might not be the best suggestion...but even if your mother wouldn't let you, couldn't he still come? You could meet him somewhere with some of your friends in a public place so that you would be sure that you are safe.

But if not, that is good that you are considering a school near him!

[Veiled_Dreamer]

My mom told me in the beginning "he is not welcome at all in my state" and my friends mock and interrogate me about him until I totally stopped bringing it up. Everyone here is against LDR, and my brother is a social guru (it's really eerie... someone says something about asking someone else out on a date and he knows the next day, it's like the walls talk to him) so he would find out I had met him somehow and tell my parents. Plus, my SO's too poor to even think about cross-country plane tickets.

And also, my dad just now told me that if I go to a college that's not local, even a prestigious one, he'll disown me: no more phone calls home and no use of my college fund. In a word... WTF? I hope he was exaggerating or angry about something else....

[Sarah M]

I am stunned... I've never heard of this kind of situation before and I really wish there was something I could do to help... Why are your parents so against it?

[Tanja]

I can't stand that kind of parents who blakcmail their own children - I know they're usually only worried about their safety but it's still wrong. Maybe lots of parents don't take their kids seriously cause they're young and "they don't know what love really is" , my mum and dad were like that when I was younger and dated a guy who was 8 years older than me but I was very serious about him atm and we ended up dating for over 2 years which really changed my parents' point of view.

You should try to talk to your parents even though they sound really strict but tell them how you feel and that you're not a 5-year-old kid anymore. I don't know how old you really are but by the sound of your posts you seem to be mature and you know what you're doing and I'm sure you could make them see that too.

I hope you'll be able to meet face-to-face soon cause that always puts things into perspective and it usually helps other people to accept the relationship as well.

[Veiled_Dreamer]

I'm nearly 15 Tanja. =]

I've tried reasoning with them, but in the end it just caused a bunch of fights, so I stopped talking about my SO altogether and I'm kind of evasive with questions about him. =(

I think, though, that I'm going to go to college where I want. If my parents are really going to disown me for following my dreams, then honestly they aren't the people I thought they were and I can give them the few years they need to cool down about my college-ness.