This is a sign that I really need some sleep to put this in perspective, but still. As much as preparing for his recital is stressful for him, it has also been stressful for me--I feel a bit like an unromanced sounding board tonight (I do feel comfortable in a counsellor role and supporting my partner in harder times, of course, but not all the time. I really am feeling a need for romance lately that is going unmet. Plus, I feel like I've really bottled up that I need to express to him how hard the distance is feeling right now with the holidays coming up, etc. and even just vent out little jealousies like specific girls dedicated to in his program notes when he's never done anything of the like for me, his girlfriend). I came home and messaged him a check-in on Skype (he had left a message there about an hour before saying that he was at the university hard at work on a very challenging electronic piece that he's trying to finish up in time to have something to show for it for the recital). He messaged me a few brief statements in response to my message and then indicated that he was focused and needed to get back to work and couldn't talk. I totally understood that need for focus, so I went off and did my own thing. Well, what should I find out, but that he was actually chatting to G the whole time on Facebook and changing his profile to the new format, etc. He later phoned and left a message, sounding upset and saying the piece he was working on could't be finished in time and he has decided to scrap it for this recital.
Maybe I'm in a bad mood, but I do feel rightfully annoyed that he said he was so busy and too busy to talk with me, but then was talking to her and fiddling around on Facebook the whole time. Also, it seems a bit like opting not to do that piece was with her consult (it's a rather abrupt decision, since he has been certain for awhile now that even if it wasn't finished, he would present it as a work in-progress)--I understand that they have the music majors thing in common, but it makes me feel like the third wheel (especially after night after night of comforting him and advising him) and a bit like he didn't want my support on the subject except to complain to after the fact (maybe he felt hesitant to approach me about it, since I have been pretty encouraging of him having something to show for that particular work, even if it is incomplete, since he has many other works to show and seemed so inspired by that one...but I never thought I made it seem like he would be lesser or fail somehow if he didn't do it).
Any comments, peanuts from the peanut gallery, delicious chocolates that will help me lose weight when I eat them?
Maybe I'm in a bad mood, but I do feel rightfully annoyed that he said he was so busy and too busy to talk with me, but then was talking to her and fiddling around on Facebook the whole time. Also, it seems a bit like opting not to do that piece was with her consult (it's a rather abrupt decision, since he has been certain for awhile now that even if it wasn't finished, he would present it as a work in-progress)--I understand that they have the music majors thing in common, but it makes me feel like the third wheel (especially after night after night of comforting him and advising him) and a bit like he didn't want my support on the subject except to complain to after the fact (maybe he felt hesitant to approach me about it, since I have been pretty encouraging of him having something to show for that particular work, even if it is incomplete, since he has many other works to show and seemed so inspired by that one...but I never thought I made it seem like he would be lesser or fail somehow if he didn't do it).
Any comments, peanuts from the peanut gallery, delicious chocolates that will help me lose weight when I eat them?
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