Starting University

[Sarah M]

Okay, so since I came home to Australia, it's been pretty easy going with Matt and I. It gets me down sometimes, but I've managed to pull through thanks to friends and of course, you guys.

But... I'm leaving for university in a day and for the first week, we'll probably have no contact and from then on, who knows? I'm pretty nervous about meeting judgemental people who will find out about him and laugh at the situation. I'm also anxious to know what the study load is going to be like, and on top of that, how things are going to go with Matt and I...

My parents have bought me a USB Modem, which is great. It is rechargeable and I'm able to use it for Skype, Facebook, and here. So that's good. I just don't think we'll be able to talk much.

I'm also worried about him. He's on a job hunt at the moment, and finding one in England isn't as easy as I had thought... I feel so helpless. I just wish I could do something!

I love him and miss him like crazy. I'm sure he feels the same, or similar, anyway. It's not like our relationship is weakening, anyway. It's simply the lack of contact that will kill me. We don't have definite plans of when we'll see each other next. I want it to be June or July, but I have a feeling I'll have to wait for Christmas time, and even then I'm not sure... I know if we're still together, my parents are willing to send me over to visit him and his family (and some of mine, I hope) but I want him to come here, first. I want him to see where I live and what the area's like and whether or not he could consider living here.

However, I guess we'll see.

And what I'm really saying is, though I won't be on here much, either, I will be looking to all your support to get me through this...

Thank you all, in advance.

[Ali&Jake]

It does sound tough, but you have to look on the bright side. Even if you can only talk to him for a little, it's a good thing you're able to talk to him at all. Be strong and make the best out of whatever time you have I'm sure all will go well. Good luck with university!

[Mio]

Best wishes in this new endeavor!!

[Sarah M]

Thanks, you guys. Fingers crossed, right?

...He was on Skype last night and this morning, as online, but I got no replies. So I tried to call him and nothing. I think he's asleep, but I thought we had agreed that we would talk this morning, because it's the last chance before I head off. Oh well, I know he's probably tired. I'm just disappointed.

EDIT: I just got a reply to my email to him. He says he's not been online since yesterday morning, so that's weird. And annoying. Does this happen to anyone else?

[Roberta]

I have to admit that I'm a bit afraid of the same thing. My SO left for college last August, and we don't talk as often as I'd like sometimes. He's having so much fun there, and I really don't want to hold him back from any college experience, but that means that I don't get to talk to him every free moment he has. And I don't know how it's going to work next year when I start college...(I'm crazy about keeping up my grades. xD) I guess we'll just have to try and work through it. =)

I think when you go to your university you'll meet a lot of people in LDRs. My SO has already met 3 other people in LDRs. Hanging out with them can sometimes be encouraging. =D

As far as the work load goes, you just need to find a balance. I'm sure your SO will understand that you have to take time to study and do homework. But I think if you just make the effort to contact him when you're walking to/from class or in your free time then you'll both be happy. =D My SO and I like to webcam while we each do homework. We're pretty good at keeping the other focused (although we do end up talking for a little bit, I'll admit lol) and I love being able to glance up at the computer and see his face. =D Good luck at school and I hope this helped!

[archangel]

Hi Sarah,
I'm in a similar situation with my LDR, we are both in College/University at the moment so we can only talk to each other on the weekends. But instead of waiting anxiously for the weekend, so you can talk to your sweetheart... you could try writing emails to each other everyday. I've been doing that with my sweetheart since day one and we always have something to look forward to every morning.
Also think of the daily emails more like a conversation, try keep them all together and go with the flow

AA

[Roberta]

But instead of waiting anxiously for the weekend, so you can talk to your sweetheart... you could try writing emails to each other everyday. I've been doing that with my sweetheart since day one and we always have something to look forward to every morning.

=D That's really great. I tried to get Diego to do this with me, but it didn't work out very well... xD He's not much into writing and he's terrible about checking his e-mail. I tried to find fun questions to ask him, and sometime's he'd respond, but it just wasn't for us. I would recommend you try it though 'cause of course every LDR is different. =)

[Andy]

I know it sucks that you won't get to talk to Matt quite as much but I think this will turn out to be a good thing

I don't mean not talking to Matt btw, I meant going off to Uni... just to clear that up lol.

I don't think you'll meet lots of judgemental people if I'm honest, I think people will be genuinely interested and nice about it, everyone there will be in the same boat as you, all strangers to one another wanting to make news friends etc

It will also give you a distraction, you won't be short of things to do for the first week or 2, so even though you'll be missing him you'll have plenty to keep you occupied

And as for the study load, I can assure you that will be very light, probably for the first term/semester or whatever you call it down under, certainly for the first few weeks at least.

So just try to enjoy it, I know it's daunting at the moment but it'll be great, I assure you

And your parents sound great by the way

[Sarah M]

@Roberta: I hope (and believe) there will be people in LDRs at uni. But I have a feeling not many will be overseas ones. I mean, I'm going to be five hours away from home, so there's going to be people far from loved ones. Also, I wish I could write him when going between classes, but that's way too expensive for me...

@archangel: I will definitely be trying an email every day. I would hate to not have any contact. I like once a day and the idea of waking up to hearing from him. That's where I think photos come in really handy. Just to show how dishevelled I'm going to look. Haha. I may be being a bit optimistic about it, though. I can do it, but I'm not sure if Matt could handle replying every day.

@Andy: I agree. I'm so glad I'm living my own life, too, you know? I know another couple that met the way we did (I don't like them, so I'mvery biased) and have planned to go to the same university and everything, all before they know if they actually work as a couple. I was accepted into the university and have planned to go there for years, and I'm glad I didn't change that just for Matt. I'm living my own life and he's living his and, eventually, they'll mould into one (we hope) but for now, I think this is how it should be. Yeah - I'm hoping that. About the new friends thing, that is. My boat was rocked last year when I made friends and they bullied me like the way you would find in high school. I lost a lot of confidence through that, and so I'm hoping uni is a new start for me. We'll see, though. Fingers crossed. They're semesters, first. I hope so. I think at first, it's all about how to not plagiarise. I'm good at that. As in, not plagiarising! Yeah - they're pretty good. I love that they've met him. Mum loves him and so is really supportive. Dad's a dad. He's just looking out for me, but knows I'm happy. All in all, I'm lucky I have their support.

I am so sick of packing, though!!! Ugh...

Thanks all of you, by the way.

[aggie]

Oh, sucks about you not being able to talk to him that often. The e-mails idea sounds good, but didnt work out in my case either... but good luck. Also, you are gonna have heaps of fun and meet lots of new people. Uni is not a high school - people are way more mature and you'll be surprised how supportive they can be.
Also, I really don't think the good thing is to stay in your room and restrain yourself from going out, just to see if he'll come online and maybe you'll get a chance to talk. i tried that, and it's just exhausting and depressing after some time.
The thing i had to fight with, was when I went to Uni (kind of the same situation, i was in Aus, it was CDR, then i came home and soon after i was moving out and starting my course)... i had so many things going on and i wanted to share it all with him. and our conversations became more of the sort aggie is talking and toby is listening... and then at the end of my story id ask 'so, what have you been up to?' and he'd reply with 'nothing. woke up, went to work, got back, sit on my computer, im goin to bed soon'. So yeh, be aware that you should make him feel secure - a lot of relationships start at uni, because you are 1) without your parents 2)surrounded by many, many people with similar interests... - and he probably knows that.
T. and I we talked basically once a week + exchanged some messages during a week (but it wasnt a definite must) ... with the time difference between europe and australia, you know its a pain in the a. but if you truly love each other and trust each other, you are going to be fine!! Just enjoy yourself and stay happy, the time will fly by, no matter if its till June/July or December.
The longest i went without seeing T was a year without a week ( 358 days), so i can tell you its do-able.

Ah, also... don't know where you're going to uni, but doesnt the campus have wireless internet...? as i talk to my friends over skype, when theyre using that, it seems to be doing alright with the calls quality.

The only way you can really help him is to be optimistic, hope that he finds a job soon and support him!

I'm gonna miss you. But i know you're gonna have heaps of fun. well, o-week for the starters!



aaaaand last but not least, the skype issue. yes, it has happened to me... T. appeared to be online at some ridiculous time, and i also messaged him, only to find out later that he was asleep and had his computer off. I never investigated that though, so have no idea whats the reason of that. Most annoying ? He never got the messages i sent him then.

Take care, have a safe trip. xo

[aggie]

cheap texting advice from old forum (i never used it because it doesnt support polish mobiles, however) : https://apps.facebook.com/smsfriends/editphone.php
you could try that. also, id suggest.. maybe you could invest in a phone that works with wi-fi (iphone, nokia 5800, nokia 5530)... its been easier to keep in touch since i got one.
i think one of best investments. and you can also use skype on it too. (like when you're getting lunch or coffee or wherever that has wi-fi. yay for the technology!)

[Sarah M]

Oh, sucks about you not being able to talk to him that often. The e-mails idea sounds good, but didnt work out in my case either... but good luck. Also, you are gonna have heaps of fun and meet lots of new people. Uni is not a high school - people are way more mature and you'll be surprised how supportive they can be.

I agree. And I really hope that's the case!

Also, I really don't think the good thing is to stay in your room and restrain yourself from going out, just to see if he'll come online and maybe you'll get a chance to talk. i tried that, and it's just exhausting and depressing after some time.

Agreed. Will not be doing that.

The thing i had to fight with, was when I went to Uni (kind of the same situation, i was in Aus, it was CDR, then i came home and soon after i was moving out and starting my course)... i had so many things going on and i wanted to share it all with him. and our conversations became more of the sort aggie is talking and toby is listening... and then at the end of my story id ask 'so, what have you been up to?' and he'd reply with 'nothing. woke up, went to work, got back, sit on my computer, im goin to bed soon'.

Will definitely remember this.

The longest i went without seeing T was a year without a week ( 358 days), so i can tell you its do-able.

That's really good for me to hear. Thank you!

Ah, also... don't know where you're going to uni, but doesnt the campus have wireless internet...?

It does, but only enough for my uni work. So I can get online journals and articles and things. That's why I have the USB Moden, which I really should set up soon...

The only way you can really help him is to be optimistic, hope that he finds a job soon and support him!
I'm gonna miss you. But i know you're gonna have heaps of fun. well, o-week for the starters!
aaaaand last but not least, the skype issue. yes, it has happened to me... T. appeared to be online at some ridiculous time, and i also messaged him, only to find out later that he was asleep and had his computer off. I never investigated that though, so have no idea whats the reason of that. Most annoying ? He never got the messages i sent him then.
Take care, have a safe trip. xo

I'm definitely trying the optimisim. And with all your help, I think I'll be fine. I'm trying to support him as much as possible, and I think that helps.
Thanks - I will try and keep in touch. But it'll probably be whatever are the newest threads and whoever is writing to me, directly.
O-Week is going to be awesome! We have Wil Anderson performing. I put a link to him on the Comedian thread that Andy made. Check him out. He's awesome.
Well, luckily it's now working and we are talking. Phew. It's one of the fun, banter conversations we have. So I'm very smitten right now. And in love...

[Sarah M]

cheap texting advice from old forum (i never used it because it doesnt support polish mobiles, however) : https://apps.facebook.com/smsfriends/editphone.php
you could try that. also, id suggest.. maybe you could invest in a phone that works with wi-fi (iphone, nokia 5800, nokia 5530)... its been easier to keep in touch since i got one.
i think one of best investments. and you can also use skype on it too. (like when you're getting lunch or coffee or wherever that has wi-fi. yay for the technology!)

Thank you, Aggie! But I can't use Wi-Fi on my phone, 'cause it's heaps expensive, too. But the texting off facebook could be good, maybe... Hmm... Well, I'll look into it. Thanks!

[Sara]

i'm also in college, and my boyfriend goes to a different school far away. we've found that short frequent phone calls are the best way to keep in touch (same phone company = free). it's always good to here his voice, and it's easy to find little 3 minute gaps in between things to talk, we don't both have to be sitting at computers. we had no contact at all during my first week, as i was in the woods on a backpacking trip as part of orientation, but once classes started, we started to fall into a pattern and learn each others' schedules.

good luck! i hope things work out for you.

[Mio]

I hope you can find the best option for you both. Best wishes!