"strange" first hours/days

[lunamea]

So, we all know how much we look forward to seeing our SOs again after weeks/months of separation. Now, my husband and I have a weird thing going on when we get together for the first time after not having seen each other for a while - we feel very "strange" and foreign to each other!

In the almost 4 years we've been married, we've gone from CDR to LDR back to CDR at least 3 times, the time we were separated was usually "only" 2-3 months, but we always had this feeling when reuniting. This January, I went back home to visit (after having been gone for 4.5 months) and I had the exact same feeling when seeing him for the first time and spending the first few hours/days with him - I felt like it isn't really him, even though I, of course, knew that nothing had changed. He feels the same way.

Luckily, by now, we know that this will happen and that it usually takes a few days until we're completely comfortable around each other again. Still, it sucks - we feel kind of torn between being overjoyed at being together again and feeling awkward because everything feels new and weird. Does anyone else know this feeling?

[Rach321]

I think I understand this feeling! It's not necessarily that I don't feel it is really him, but there is an awkwardness. Once he suprised me with a visit, and that in that case, it took me about a day to really register that he was here! I don't think he feels the same way, at least he's never said that he does. But I know that we both feel a lot closer to one another by the end of a visit than we did at the beginning.

Especially physically-speaking. He is always ready to jump right into kissing, etc., and I enjoy it when we first see each other, but it takes me a day or two to really feel open with him.

[Jackie]

Yep, I'm the same way as the both of you! Everything just feels awkward and weird.. like it's your first time meeting or something. And I get the same feeling whenever I return home from a visit, and then we're talking again online... it's just weird and I don't really know what to say.

[Italia10]

I have had the same feelings! On my first visit to him things were awkward, I was jet lagged and he was super excited to show me around his new city. It was almost as if we were still in different places although we were together. On about the third or fourth day we had a bit of an argument. We both said what was on our minds and viola! Things were back to normal. I think we were just on eggshells with each other and after talking about our frustrations it was as if we were never apart. I dont think feeling awkward or strange with each other at first is weird or strange. It SUCKS but I think its just a part of coming together again.

[seshei]

It takes me a while to adjust, too. I always feel kind of shy the first couple of days of being together. It's "normal" for us to chat online, and speak on Skype. It's not "normal" for us to be together. I guess that's just it. It doesn't feel normal at first. I find myself just looking at him a lot the first couple of days to be sure he's there, and he's real. It annoys him. If he feels awkward at all, he does a good job of hiding it. But, for me, it takes a bit for the anticipation, and nerves to subside and settle in.

[Sarah M]

I just can't wait to feel this, because it means I'll be with him again...

[aggie]

Well, the first time we reunited, it was really weird! He flew to ireland and i was catchin up with him the next day. Also, we weren't alone. We had 3 mutual friends tagged along... so when we saw each other in Dublin, i'd say hello to everyone else, but i only looked at T. and so did he. Even though we spoke on the phone like 2 hours before! I asked my friend to carry my backpack, and T carried my friends bag... i checked in with him to a hotel, took a shower, got ready - all without a single WORD. then few hours later we went out, we didn't even sit next to each other, and funnily, we would be very much into the conversation with others, until the other one said something. he was so overwhelmed with the feelings he started getting drunk real quickly... then we accidentally (!) bumped into each other on th dancefloor and without a word, we kissed. from then on, it was back to normal (oh god, i just brought up in my mind all the memories from that trip... nawwww. ).

the second time i was coming, we were alone and it was a) the second time b)in his home country... so that may have had influence. But he was alright as soon as he saw me, i was the one who was being weird... no talking, no shown emotions. i just held his hand all the way to his cousin's place, where i took a shower and was all quite ... might have been exhausted after 24h flight... but i think it was just weird to have him around. so close.
took me about two days to actually believe that im there, with him and that we can do stuff together. I suppose two days was just alright to adjust, because we had 3 months ahead. This time it may be a little worse.. as we'll only have 3 weeks, so hopefully we get over the 'strange hours' period very quickly.

[Taija]

The first few hours are a bit awkward to me as well... but I actually like that feeling.

No matter how long we've known each other, when we meet again after many months of separation, it all feels a little bit new and exciting. Touching, kissing, feeling him is both familiar and strange at the same time. It really keeps the spark alive, you know? I've seen many close distance couples getting bored of each other, but when I see Jesse again, it feels like I'm rediscovering him all over again.

[William]

For us it's literally the first 5 minutes, then everything is as it's supposed to be.
Then again, we've always been LD, so we don't know any different

[Tanja]

Andy and I had that feeling for the first 2 or 3 times we met but it's not like we felt strange to each other or akward, it was just a feeling like we couldn't believe we're actually together and it took a while for it to really hit us that we're not talking to our screens anymore lol. The last time he was here we just felt really happy though it still took us a day or 2 to really realise we're physically together.

But I too love that feeling and being in an LDR certainly never gets boring and it's always exciting to see each other after a long time. Like Taija said, it keeps up the sparkle in the relationship

[Zephii]

The first couple of times I struggled to have my senses "understand" that Obi was the person I'd been talking to over the net. Even though we'd voice chatted and cam'ed, I almost felt disloyal being with him in person because it was like I was betraying my "internet boyfriend" haha. It was just hard to understand they were the same person, but at the same time it was never weird or awkward, everything fell into place. But I always imagined it'd feel the way you decribed, I don't think it's strange. ^^

[lunamea]

Phew! I'm glad I'm not the only one who experiences this!

The first time we were separated, I visited my hb abroad and we spent the first few days with friends of his and his father, so everything was totally awkward and I just felt very uncomfortable and lost. I hadn't expected it to be this way at all and I was totally overwhelmed by this feeling because I didn't know that it would pass. Worse was that my husband seemed completely comfortable and was all over me. Only later did he admit that he also feels strange the first few hours/days.

Another time, my husband came home and because I had to work longer, I couldn't pick him up from the train station, so we literally met in the middle of the street - it was late at night and we were the only people there and already saw each other from some distance away. We kissed and looked at each other and actually both said "Well... this is awkward." LOL

Now, this January, my hb and mom picked me up from the airport and I felt weird on the drive back, too, but then we spent some time with my mom and aunt and I think that helped.

I think I generally have a hard time adjusting and re-adjusting to new places and people. Back in Austria, we've only been in our new apartment for 6 months before I left to study abroad, so when I came to visit, I didn't really feel at home there anymore either. Well, I guess it all just takes time.

The first few hours are a bit awkward to me as well... but I actually like that feeling.

No matter how long we've known each other, when we meet again after many months of separation, it all feels a little bit new and exciting. Touching, kissing, feeling him is both familiar and strange at the same time. It really keeps the spark alive, you know? I've seen many close distance couples getting bored of each other, but when I see Jesse again, it feels like I'm rediscovering him all over again.

That's an interesting way of looking at it. I mainly saw it as a negative thing so far, probably because our first reunion was so traumatic for me. Hm. I just realize it won't make so much of a difference to me, anyway, since we're going back to living together in June and have no other stays abroad planned. :P

[JoMarie]

I don't think we've ever felt awkward or anything. We see each other on a fairly regular basis so as it stands it has never been really weird for us. I bet when he gets deployed for 9 months I'll understand what you guys mean

[Kitty]

I so totally know this feeling...though since my SO and I haven't actually been together in person it isn't quite the same. But I still get this feeling with friends and family that I haven't seen in a long time. It's just that awkward 'what now' stage. ..or maybe I should say completely normal 'what now' stage. It's just that first few minutes/hours/days where you (I) go Gah! I don't know what to do/say!

[Andy]

Andy and I had that feeling for the first 2 or 3 times we met but it's not like we felt strange to each other or akward, it was just a feeling like we couldn't believe we're actually together and it took a while for it to really hit us that we're not talking to our screens anymore lol. The last time he was here we just felt really happy though it still took us a day or 2 to really realise we're physically together.

But I too love that feeling and being in an LDR certainly never gets boring and it's always exciting to see each other after a long time. Like Taija said, it keeps up the sparkle in the relationship

Eeeeeeeeerm, I didn't... lol

I had it for our first weekend, and pretty much all of the weekend I had that feeling lingering at least, but I've never had it since. It did feel different over Xmas though, cause the length of time of time we've had to wait to see each other after our first meeting has been 2 months then 2 months, then 2 months and then 4 months before Xmas, so it was quite a bit longer for us to wait that time round and it took me over a week to come down from the high of being together again, close to 2 weeks in fact, so that was a new feeling I hadn't ad before, certainly not as strongly anyway.