A crappy day

[Stina83]

I'm so glad it worked out Hope it stays this way for you!

[stacyrose]

If it makes you feel any better, I can almost assure you that all USA-ers LOVE people from different countries. It makes them feel cultured to have a "foreign" friend Go out and find your happiness!

This is a very true statement. Americans are definitely welcoming and love to learn about different people in different countries...I know for myself I have a hard time making friends too, but once you start up a conversation about common interests I open up like a flower. Everyone's different...but I'm sure if you put yourself out more despite shyness it will help you out alot.

[LostInLove]

I'm glad it's worked out!

I'd like to add in though, I think your girlfriend may be feeling a lot of pressure from her friends. You said that they're very conservative and here she is with a boyfriend who's moved halfway across the world to be with her even though you aren't married. I'm guessing she's being made to feel bad about it, which is why she doesn't want to make a big deal about your relationship in front of her friends. At some point you might want to ask if this is the case and if there's anything you can do to help with the situation.

[Stina83]

I'm glad it's worked out!

I'd like to add in though, I think your girlfriend may be feeling a lot of pressure from her friends. You said that they're very conservative and here she is with a boyfriend who's moved halfway across the world to be with her even though you aren't married. I'm guessing she's being made to feel bad about it, which is why she doesn't want to make a big deal about your relationship in front of her friends. At some point you might want to ask if this is the case and if there's anything you can do to help with the situation.

I completely agree with that.. definitely sounds like she's afraid to lose her friends.

[Mizpah]

I'm glad it's worked out for you!

[Flora]

I used to have this problem or kinda. We are together almost a year ago with my boyfriend and I spent so much money and time to go to see him and I was already 3 times (All in all 5 months) in TX to see him but he didn't even seemed to want to get here. I was always complaining about he doesn't spend too much to talk (or when I was there to be) with me and he wasn't really in that I hang out with his friends. Luckily I could force myself to handle the relationship with a little bit more freedom and I started to use that strategy that I told him what I expect from him and we could discuss what is he able to do from these and now he will be here in 5 days to see me and I made a couple of friends from his team and I'm trying to keep myself busy to not "stalking" him too much (Yeah, if I want to be 100% honest I kinda did it). I can still acting stupid and start to cry randomly about problems but I could teach myself to get over things and let him more freedom and he is acting much better now in our relationship.

Well it's ended up as our story, but I hope you get the point from it

[Engel]

Oh honey, I'm so sorry.

Honestly to me it sounds like she wants to still act like you two are miles away or that she's single instead of appreciating you moved away from a whole country, your family, and your comforts to be near her.

That.
last year when i moved here, i didnt have any friends, or anything besides my boyfriend for that matter. really similar to your case.
and a couple of times in the first months he went to spend the one or two days (this hapenned top 5 times in the whole year, so not that bad) with one of his best friends that lives in another city. and even in those few times i felt left, even though he had told me before he would go and i understand he need some time with his friends. i mean, i didnt have my friends and family here, but he did, and i went two times to spend weekends with a friend that lived in another part of germany, and one time to visit family in switzerland, and friends came to visit me in two different ocasions and spend between 2 and 5 days with me (just one friend per time), so for me wasnt that bad, oh my mother and brother came to visit me for 20 days as well. them after the year i went to my country for 3 months and came back here, i found what you can call a hobby (though it is so much more than just a hobby!!): Roller Derby, and all of a sudden i have at least 2 days per week when i have something to do and hang out with them, practice and the day we study the rules together. and sometimes we do something else together outside of derby, go out as friends. and people are so lovely, i made friends at last, after a whole year living here friendless (in my city! had friends in other parts of germany) im not deppending just on him anymore. and i find that is healthier for the relationship, when each of us have their own friends, so if someday i want to go out for something he doesnt like much (we dont have the exact same music style.. is quite different actually, and my new friends have a simillar taste to mine), i can go out with my friends and he can plan something with his friends or his mother. so its a win-win.
what i suggest is you find a hobby
something you really like.
be it a sport, dancing, book club. etc
and dedicate yourself to it. you will be doing something you like, be meeting people you have things in common with, and being more independent, she is too sure you only have her so she does whatever she wants. but when you start to have your own life and friends and all, she may see she wasnt giving you the right value and want to spend more time with you when she sees you arent available 24/7.

about the trip... well, if my boyfriend settled a trip of that sorts and didnt invite me, i dont think i would see much future with him, if i couldnt go, is something, but not to invite me in the first place? it would mean he wouldnt want me there or wouldnt miss me around. when we are in a couple we usually want to share the good moments with our SOs, and do it together. because without our significant other, it woudlnt be half as much fun as it would be with them.

she takes you forgranted, and that is not good. never ever.

[Engel]

I'm going to be the odd man out here...

Okay so this is what I'm seeing here. I think she's feeling a little smothered, and I think you're really lonely. I don't think you should bring up "I left my home, family and friends for you" because I feel like you're sort of holding it over her head. I know that was a huge sacrifice you made, but YOU made it. It's done. Don't bring it up anymore.

What you need to do is go out and make a life for yourself. You've been there for 5 months. Go make some friends. And the excuse "I'm not good at making friends" is not a good excuse. Do you want to be miserable waiting for her every day? No. Go make friends! I suggest you look up some type of group meetings that you're interested in. Do you like art? Find an art group. Do you like sports? Join a sports team. Try to find somewhere to volunteer. Or look into tutoring at your school. That way you can make some money under the table. You can't and shouldn't rely on just her. Think about any other relationship. You have your own friends, the girl has their own friends. You don't always want her around while with your group. And she doesn't always want you around.

Are you two living together? Or just close?

reading my way through the thread and i agree with you. i actually said something somewhat similar on my previous answer to this thread.making friends and having a life of your own is the key

now ill go back to read the other pages.