have questions and need answers

[allen11.11]

i have been cheated on in the passed and this is the first time i have been far away though

[Miramaid]

I will just speak from my own experience because my SO is a very paranoid type. Today he was asking me why I changed my profile picture to a nice one when we are going through a tough time in our relationship. YOu know, I did not even think for a second WHY I did it. I just changed a picture coz I havent done it in a while and I just thought I would change it. Well, he blew it out to that I do not care about what is going on between us and I must have put a nice picture of me because of some other reason (whatever that means)

Yes, distance is hard. I am not an expert in LDR coz I too am in one second time (not first) and this time it has only been a few months since we have been long distance and ever since we became long distance we have been having problems coz my SO is trying to find something when there is nothing. LIke I said before: breakfast, pictures of birds, ringtones on my phone, changing picture on facebook - are now creators of a HUGE problem. I can not even picture what would happen if I was a type of person who likes to go out and get drunk. HE would probably freak out looooong time ago and we most likely would not even be together. In my relationship I am praying that he will calm down and just start trusting me. I love him to death and the last thing I want is to loose him over something he is suspicios about when there is NOTHING going on. That would really break my heart. We are going through some very hard times with him now and I guess what I am trying to do is to warn you to not make the same mistake coz you may loose the girl you love.

Do communicate about how you FEEL in a nice and respectful way, tell her how it makes you FEEL when she does something. Do not accuse her "well this is wierd when you do this", say how you feel when she does something, that it makes you sad and that it makes you worried that you gonna loose her coz really this is what it comes down to! And I am pretty sure, 200% that she is gonna say that you are not gonna loose her and that she loves you and you have nothing to worry about. NAd she will probably be true about that.

Good luck! I just hope there wont be another post on here "We broke up"

[allen11.11]

no that wont happend because i talk to her very sweet and treat her like gold and make her feel supper great everyday and she does tell me i have nothing to worry about and i am just venting because i am upset you know and we have gone though so much because i have two kids with another girl and she doesn't mind that and she is my best friend and i wouldn't freak out about a profile picture thats stupid but i would tell her that i liked it or if i didn't but i wouldn't blow a lid over it

[hillke]

there is no point in responding to this thread anymore. you seem determined to convince yourself and us that your girlfriend is cheating on you. you asked for our advice but you've argued with every single one of us. go talk to your girlfriend. we clearly can't talk you down. maybe she can.

[allen11.11]

no i am fine thank to all of you for helping me out in my time of need. I am glad i found a place that can help me though that

[Karringtyn]

I don't think anything sounds fishy. I can't ever go through a relationship again with someone so insecure that they can't trust me. Do yourself a favor and have faith in the relationship. You may have been cheated on before...but that is the past. Been there myself...the ghosts of the past are going to ruin your present if you don't let go.

[allen11.11]

just found out my so lied to me about what happend that night and she said that she didnt want me to get upset because she was driking and got drunk so how can i ever trust her again and i still dont know what else happend because i dont know if i can believe her

[Miramaid]

you do not trust her and that is the problem. You do not know if anything happened there but you already think she had sex with half the club. You said you lived together 2 years. If 2 years was not enough for you to get to KNOW her, then why are you still with her??? Give her a favor and give yourself a favor and break it off since you do not trust her. All she said was that she was drunk, but guess what? IF you gonna act like you do she may as well act on it next time so at least she is not being accused for no reason.

Yes anything can happen. People cheat in a marriage too. People have sex in dumpsters, and people have sex during lunch hour at work, and in all kinds of crazy places if they WANT to cheat. If you still do not know and not sure about her and 2 years was not enough for you to just KNOW taht she is not that kind, then what is there to talk about? You already believe what you believe and no matter what she says you already made a story in your mind.

[allen11.11]

well i listened to you and talked it out and forgave her i just ask her to never lie again and i dont think she slept with anyone at all thats true

[Riyko]

*I don't know when this topic was made, but i'm replying anyways*

there are a couple of things and i may be completely blunt and harsh, but i don't mean it in a bad way.

You don't trust her plain and simple there is no trust in your relationship, which I think you need to rethink your position in the relationship. I could see her lying to you about how drunk she got if she knows you don't trust her because to her telling you the truth could make you more suspicious about what she's doing or if she actually knew what she did ect. You need to work on your trust issues, if you can't trust her there is no relationship because without trust there can't be love.

next point, I understand how being cheated on can make you suspicious of someone, hell i've been cheated on not once or twice, but three times and you know what when I was with my ex and we were long distance I fully trusted him because I knew even if he went drinking or to a club that I was the most important thing to him and he was going to hang out with his friend, not to find someone else, plus I know his friends would stop him if he was thinking about trying something. I'm sorry, but I don't think cheating can be an excuse for not trusting and the cheating happened in the past it doesn't mean it will happen in every single one of your relationships all it'll mean is that you're a bit more alert with what's going on in the relationship then most people would be.

[allen11.11]

thank you very much for that i needed to hear that