so...my now ex BF yesterday searched for my nick name online. Why? I do not know. I guess he was trying to find smth about me without me knowing and he did. He found a post that I wrote on a medical forum over a year ago. I was asking about emergency contraception and if i may be pregnant because i took it while taking antibiotics. I was very specific about dates when asking my question: when i had an unprotected sex, when i took plan B etc etc. Just for a reference: the event occured BEFORE me and my SO started dating.
My SO asked me if i was pregnant twice, he asked me if i know what is minocyclin (the antibiotic) and when I answered "no" abt pregnant twice, and i answered "yes i know what minocycline is" he said "so were you pregnant twice?" and THEN he showed me the link he found with my nickname. At first i told him that anyone can have that nickname but then i said "ok...do not tell anyone" and told him a story abt my first pregnancy when i was 19 years old and lived in my home country...
He said that i lied to him coz he had to ask several times before I finally admitted that the post was mine and what was in it, he said that he cant believe that he was in love with such a horrible person, that he doesnt know me, that he doesnt ever want to have anything to do with me etc etc
It was NOT because of pregnancy or anything. IT was because of the date of the post (Jan 2010), and about the dates i was mentioning when i had sex (Nov 2009) etc.etc. Me and him started dating in MAY 2010. So it was all BEFORE but that did not matter to him. What did matter was that when he asked me before about that guy i had a sexual relationship with (we were not dating and had sex like 3 times) i told him that the last time was in 2009 (the guy lived far away and did not have a car so we really only met on a couple occasions with big periods of time in between).The time I was asking that question was the last time I saw the guy and the last time we had sex. My SO and I started dating in May, AFTER all that happened. And I did not tell him abt my first pregnancy coz no one knows about it, even my parents and it is smth I would like to forget. Not many people know about my second one either, but he knew...He said some very hurtful things. I told him that people who love forgive their loved ones and he said 'Oh yeah? I will forgive you if you let ME personally tell your parents that you were pregnant twice" and I said to him that my dad had two heart attacks (the whole reason why my parents are not aware of my pregnancies) and that he is free to tell them and that it will kill my dad who is dreaming of grand kids and then what? He did not say anything. He was not gonna do that of course...he said I ruined our relationship and not him, that I lied to him about my whole life and I am not the person he thought I was. He said that 7 years ago his mother died on the same day and now he has another reason to hate this day. I know he posted a status on FB (even though I am not on his FB any mroe) but I know he posted in his status that he is very sorry about the time he had wasted with me and he is full of anger adn wishes he could share with everyone what happened but he wont coz he doesnt want to be like me...Now he posted a yahoo messenger status saying 'Why does this always happen to me? Why do I always find crazy ones?'
You know guys, I never once called him a bad name, i never cheated on him or anyone, i never did anything bad to anyone but myself. I do not understand why this is happening and why and why do I deserve such a thing? Yes I understand he was upset, but react THIS way???
Now you can all tell me what you think: good or bad. I do not even care any more. I am soooo upset as never. I went to counseling today and yes i told him all truth and i asked the counselor if it was OK to not share all the information about your past with your SO and he said that it was OK especially when two ppl are in a relationship 8 months only and that even in marriage people shoudl respect boundaries and it is my past...
I know I am not perfect I should not have lied about it, but those are some big things plus he cant take information in a proper way, he freaks out, so i lied about it :'(
My SO asked me if i was pregnant twice, he asked me if i know what is minocyclin (the antibiotic) and when I answered "no" abt pregnant twice, and i answered "yes i know what minocycline is" he said "so were you pregnant twice?" and THEN he showed me the link he found with my nickname. At first i told him that anyone can have that nickname but then i said "ok...do not tell anyone" and told him a story abt my first pregnancy when i was 19 years old and lived in my home country...
He said that i lied to him coz he had to ask several times before I finally admitted that the post was mine and what was in it, he said that he cant believe that he was in love with such a horrible person, that he doesnt know me, that he doesnt ever want to have anything to do with me etc etc
It was NOT because of pregnancy or anything. IT was because of the date of the post (Jan 2010), and about the dates i was mentioning when i had sex (Nov 2009) etc.etc. Me and him started dating in MAY 2010. So it was all BEFORE but that did not matter to him. What did matter was that when he asked me before about that guy i had a sexual relationship with (we were not dating and had sex like 3 times) i told him that the last time was in 2009 (the guy lived far away and did not have a car so we really only met on a couple occasions with big periods of time in between).The time I was asking that question was the last time I saw the guy and the last time we had sex. My SO and I started dating in May, AFTER all that happened. And I did not tell him abt my first pregnancy coz no one knows about it, even my parents and it is smth I would like to forget. Not many people know about my second one either, but he knew...He said some very hurtful things. I told him that people who love forgive their loved ones and he said 'Oh yeah? I will forgive you if you let ME personally tell your parents that you were pregnant twice" and I said to him that my dad had two heart attacks (the whole reason why my parents are not aware of my pregnancies) and that he is free to tell them and that it will kill my dad who is dreaming of grand kids and then what? He did not say anything. He was not gonna do that of course...he said I ruined our relationship and not him, that I lied to him about my whole life and I am not the person he thought I was. He said that 7 years ago his mother died on the same day and now he has another reason to hate this day. I know he posted a status on FB (even though I am not on his FB any mroe) but I know he posted in his status that he is very sorry about the time he had wasted with me and he is full of anger adn wishes he could share with everyone what happened but he wont coz he doesnt want to be like me...Now he posted a yahoo messenger status saying 'Why does this always happen to me? Why do I always find crazy ones?'
You know guys, I never once called him a bad name, i never cheated on him or anyone, i never did anything bad to anyone but myself. I do not understand why this is happening and why and why do I deserve such a thing? Yes I understand he was upset, but react THIS way???
Now you can all tell me what you think: good or bad. I do not even care any more. I am soooo upset as never. I went to counseling today and yes i told him all truth and i asked the counselor if it was OK to not share all the information about your past with your SO and he said that it was OK especially when two ppl are in a relationship 8 months only and that even in marriage people shoudl respect boundaries and it is my past...
I know I am not perfect I should not have lied about it, but those are some big things plus he cant take information in a proper way, he freaks out, so i lied about it :'(
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