Talking to your SO while he is doing other things ...

[Miramaid]

me and my SO both do it. At first he was annoyed by it, and I now wish I would have stopped then, because now that we both do that, I sometimes feel like I wish he was more focused on me. Yet, we now both do it. Sometimes we have nothing to talk about really, so just being there and doing our own things while still seeing each other, really helps me at least. He told me yesterday that he can do two things at once while writing an email and chatting with me.

[nic&matt]

I think there's a time to do that and a time not to.
Without going into way to much detail I think it's being flexible. There are just simple rules we go by that help decide what kind of "night" it is, so say...
1.) If either one of us is having an issue (bad day or relationship irritations/sadness) all focus is on them.
2.) A special night (anniversary of some sort or birthday, etc) all focus is on them.
3.) A busy week allows distractions. If I need to do homework, we do homework together. If it means we're both quiet or if we're both helping eachother, at least it's still spending time.
4.) Little downtime. My busy schedule really sometimes puts me in a tough position. In order for me to be me, I need my downtime with internet or TV. If I literally only have an hour to relax (literally only an hour, no exaggeration), he allows me to do other things like check my mail, facebook, and go on this website because then I'll never have the time to if we don't.
5.) If there's been a little to chaotic of a week (like we've only been able to talk twice in a week) and I happen to get an hour to myself, rule number 4 is ignored and my focus goes on him because he needs it. I suck it up for a night and end up doing down-time stuff kinda in place of sleep.

I would just be wise. At first my SO was to strict with "it's only us time" and I was to relaxed with "I need down-time". After long conversations we kinda came up with those guidelines. They work out really well for us. Try making and compromising your own that fits both of your needs in. You need to see the full situation first. He might be on those forums because he hasn't had time to all day...
Good luck!

[loveknowsnodistance27]

I don't mind most of the time. We usually talk on MSN or texting, so we're both doing other stuff. He'll be working on a server or a project for college and I'll be doing my papers or labs for college. He'll check the News Feed for his floor at school and I'll be surfing the Internet. But, I love that sometimes, he'll be out with floormates somewhere and he'll text me first. I don't really like it if he's on his computer while we're on the phone at times, because we barely have phone conversations and I can see he's somewhat distracted at times. I do understand when he's doing work for school on his computer if we're on the phone because he's busy.

[nerdgirl]

it annoys me when he does this sorta thing.
especially when we are using skype.
considering we dont talk that often maybe once a day for a few minutes. it drives me crazy. he tends to play video games while we are talking and i can hear the sounds in the background.
i'm trying to get him into the habit of just talking to me. but it's not working that well..

[FadedSunrise]

I don't mind at all, infact, we don't get to do this multitasking and talking thing enough! He doesn't have reliable internet at home, so he usually goes to an internet cafe at prearranged times and we talk. Everything feels like a date, and so I have to give him my full attention to honor the effort he made to keep in touch. However, the few times where he's got nothing to do and sitting somewhere on mobile QQ, and I've got nothing important to do and have my computer open, I'll knit, talk to other friends, in between talking to him. And he'll probably talk to other people, read, and talk to me. It makes me feel closer to him, because it more approaches what we do in person-a lot of just enjoying each other's company

[uniquefem]

Well... i want him to "focus" on me... but sigh... we are 6 hours different so its hard! when we chat he will be at work!

Once he chat with me while in a meeting with his cellphone (i hope none of his boss were work here hehe). Another time we were in mid skype while he is doing some consulting on phone or chat with me while skype with his parent

I have to share every little bit of him, and its quite frustrating to be honest! but i think i have to accept that!

Also i did that sometimes... chat with him on skype while doing my nail color.. or getting ready to go somewhere... (flirt on cam??)

I think i had to compromise with those things... i wish i could have him for me self

[TknandLvnIt]

He and i both do the same thing...sometimes it convos with his family when they come in the room but the same happens for me...I might be in the middle of something when he calls and just want to finish but miss what he is saying...sometimes he is watching game videos and or reading updates and that's a bit frustrating but we have talked about it and set guidelines and he knows and i know the times when he needs my undivided attention...but sometimes its something as little as my pets...I'm listening but something wild happens that distracts me...but i can tell it frustrates him a bit. I think its a mutual thing allow down time so they don't feel as though they need to do those things while you are talking...My SO and i try to refrain from texting while on the phone which is hard at times, try and go to secluded areas and give the other our undivided attention...It works for us...but maybe an hour and a half is a long time for him...He and i talk for hours every day and sometimes i wonder if its boredom...but the only way to find out is to ask.

[lademoiselle]

It doesn't bother me at all, I suppose I'm used to it. I mean, we often chat during the day when I don't have college and he's at work (and not meant to be online), so he'll always be preoccupied with something else then. And once we're home he has to make dinner, check his emails, watch the news... I don't know any different! His MSN status is permanently set to busy; if he ever happens to be on available it looks strange to me Perhaps the only time it upsets me a tiny bit is when I feel like chatting about something profound or serious and I don't have his undivided attention. It works vice versa though, and in such cases we'll simply ask a casual "are you busy?" - in other words: "I know your focus is taken by something else right now, and I'd really like it to be on me instead!"

[Tooki]

I get to talk to my girl for a few hours a day so I do other things at the same time. I don't watch TV or anything like that but I will browse the net. (We usually do video on Skype)

[Yaaamiii]

Oh this still upsets me. My SO knows not to multitask when he's talking to me. I've been guilty of it before, but he does it more frequently than I and I get more annoyed than he does. I always tell him that he didn't like it the few times I've done it, so why should it be ok for him? xD I dunno, but I can always tell when he's doing something else at the same time. His attention is divided, so I tell him to call me after he's done doing whatever he's doing. Usually he ends up feeling bad (which honestly isn't my intent) and he stops doing it.

[Malaga]

We usually talk by text so we both do other things at the same time, like watch TV or browse the internet. Sometimes we even talk to other people on FB or twitter. I don't mind that as long as it's a casual chat we're having. Sometimes neither him or me are in the mood to be fully focus on each other, but we like to have each other around in a way.

But I did flip out a few times when I considered our chat to be more serious or intimate than usual and I noticed him tweet some random stuff at the same time. It made me feel like a fool, there I was getting into it while his focus was all over the place. He took note and doesn't do that anymore. And I learned to communicate better what's important to me.

[yaz722]

I hate this too. Not only this but when you are trying to converse with someone in person or otherwise, and all they are interested in is their phone or whatever.

[dglynn77]

I think it is rude. BUT I am guilty of this as I am an avid multi-tasker and I don't even notice that I am doing it sometimes. I do think it is rude though so I have to super focus so as not to get distracted. But it's worth it.

[rixue]

I am not bothered by him multitasking at all. Sometimes I am the one doing the multitasking when I need to work on homework or study. We talk on Skype while he is at work when he isn't busy which is nice. Even though I don't always get his undivided attention during that time I'd rather be able to have some kind of conversation with him instead of not being able to really talk to him for 12 hours @_@

[kittyo9]

We had this problem for a while and yes, it does bother me. You would not be doing that if you were here with me, so why are you doing it now? I can always tell when he's doing something else.

So I brought it up with him one day. I like to lay in bed and focus completely on him while I talk to him, but he has a desktop and does not have that option, so he felt it was okay to be browsing or playing a game while talking to me. He also said he didn't really realize until then that I just wanted to lay there and talk to him. It's okay when we're both working on stuff, or even when one of us is, but when it's free time, we mind it.

Anyway, now if one of us isn't paying attention, we say, "Hey! Pay attention to me." It sounds demanding but it's really just courteous. :P