I've been around a couple months now, but I've never really posted too much. I do think you all are wonderful though and have good, objective advice. I could really use some of that now.
My SO and I have been together now a year and a half. We've only been in a distance relationship though for a little over six months. I wouldn't say it's exactly long distance since it's just a few hundred miles; we live on opposite sides of the same state. So he/I can usually drive to see each other and back in the same day. I do most of the visiting because that way I can spend the night and not have to drive back the same day.
Even though it's not that long of distance, we don't really see each other that often. We saw each other a good bit, maybe twice the first month we were long distance, then we didn't see each other for three months, now we've been going about a month without seeing each other.
We have fought for the past six months about this. I feel that since it's not so far of a distance we should be able to see each other more often, but my SO never seems to have the time. We are both in university, he's finishing up his last year in graduate school and I've just returned to school last fall. He also works part time about 20-25 hours a week plus he's a member of some organizations on campus.
In other words, he's far busier than I am. I'm really trying to be more understanding about his schedule, but I am not exactly thrilled and feel sometimes I am his last priority though I understand that he does have to do these things.
Basically, I feel it's taking a toll on me and our relationship. We haven't fought about anything else except the distance and we fight about it maybe a couple times a month. I made up my mind not to say anything about it because I am tired of fighting with him about it. Which was going good until a few days ago I asked if we were going to be able to spend valentine's day together and he said no.
I don't know why it really upset me so much as I figured we wouldn't be able to because we both have school that day so we couldn't leave out until after school, but I still thought we might be able to spend some time of that day together. He asked about us celebrating it another day and I said, "that doesn't look good." Which it doesn't. He'll be busy and I have four exams this month so I don't see what day I'll be able to give him or vice versa.
I also told him that my feelings were hurt that we wouldn't get to spend the day together or probably any day together this month. His response to this was pretty..well, it seemed to me he was annoyed which led to the whole argument about him not supporting me and respecting my feelings. He was/is mad because he said it seems no matter how hard he tries I'm not happy. He also said that I always say I understand he has responsibilities, but then when it comes down to it I get mad and act "overly dramatic". He also said that I want him to support my feelings, but I don't understand or think of the fact that this makes him sad as well.
Honestly, I think we both acted poorly and I think I could just use some advice on how to deal with the distance better, be more supportive/understanding, activities which could occupy my time more, etc. Right now though, I just feel as if I'm not sure if we can withstand all of this...
My SO and I have been together now a year and a half. We've only been in a distance relationship though for a little over six months. I wouldn't say it's exactly long distance since it's just a few hundred miles; we live on opposite sides of the same state. So he/I can usually drive to see each other and back in the same day. I do most of the visiting because that way I can spend the night and not have to drive back the same day.
Even though it's not that long of distance, we don't really see each other that often. We saw each other a good bit, maybe twice the first month we were long distance, then we didn't see each other for three months, now we've been going about a month without seeing each other.
We have fought for the past six months about this. I feel that since it's not so far of a distance we should be able to see each other more often, but my SO never seems to have the time. We are both in university, he's finishing up his last year in graduate school and I've just returned to school last fall. He also works part time about 20-25 hours a week plus he's a member of some organizations on campus.
In other words, he's far busier than I am. I'm really trying to be more understanding about his schedule, but I am not exactly thrilled and feel sometimes I am his last priority though I understand that he does have to do these things.
Basically, I feel it's taking a toll on me and our relationship. We haven't fought about anything else except the distance and we fight about it maybe a couple times a month. I made up my mind not to say anything about it because I am tired of fighting with him about it. Which was going good until a few days ago I asked if we were going to be able to spend valentine's day together and he said no.
I don't know why it really upset me so much as I figured we wouldn't be able to because we both have school that day so we couldn't leave out until after school, but I still thought we might be able to spend some time of that day together. He asked about us celebrating it another day and I said, "that doesn't look good." Which it doesn't. He'll be busy and I have four exams this month so I don't see what day I'll be able to give him or vice versa.
I also told him that my feelings were hurt that we wouldn't get to spend the day together or probably any day together this month. His response to this was pretty..well, it seemed to me he was annoyed which led to the whole argument about him not supporting me and respecting my feelings. He was/is mad because he said it seems no matter how hard he tries I'm not happy. He also said that I always say I understand he has responsibilities, but then when it comes down to it I get mad and act "overly dramatic". He also said that I want him to support my feelings, but I don't understand or think of the fact that this makes him sad as well.
Honestly, I think we both acted poorly and I think I could just use some advice on how to deal with the distance better, be more supportive/understanding, activities which could occupy my time more, etc. Right now though, I just feel as if I'm not sure if we can withstand all of this...
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