When is enough enough?

[Dziubka]

So we see each other a lot more often than 5-6 times a year. If it was 5-6 times I'd have found a way to close the distance sooner (like 1 - 1.5yrs, which would have been summer this year at the latest). I'd be willing to sacrifice a lot of things to live with my boyfriend, if that was the only option. I also firmly believe that where's a will, there is a way. It might be difficult, but if I was seeing my boyfriend less than I do now, I'd make it my priority to see him more often. If that meant being poor or giving up on my education, I'd most likely do it.
(There were times when I lived off pasta+pesto to pay for my flights to him and that really is nothing imho).

The way it is now... I don't know how long I'd do it. We have at least 1.5yrs, most likely 3.5yrs of long distance left. If we continue to see each other as often as we do know and spend our summer and spring breaks together (so we can have 1-month+ visits three times a year), then I'm willing to wait that long, possibly even longer.
There needs to be obvious comittment from both sides though. We had originally thought we'd close the distance this year, after 1,5yrs LDR, unfortunately it didn't work out for a number of reasons. He's planning to move to Germany in 2012. We'll still be long distance, but closer (400km instead of 1000km) and in the same country (=cheaper tavelling, telephones, etc). And we're planning our wedding for 2014, distance closed or not.
I don't know if it's weird, but it's important for me that our relationship is actually 'developing' to something more. I wouldn't do years of LDR without a perspective or regular vists.

[LostInLove]

It's hard for me to say. As things are right now.....I'm willing to wait three years before I make a decision. If we're not making serious plans to end the distance by then, I'm going to start putting my foot down. After I graduate from my master's work, I want to settle down. Get a job, move out of my parents place, work towards buying a house. Plus I want to have a family, and I don't want to wait forever to start one either. If he's moving here I might be a bit more lenient, but if I'm doing any moving I don't want to settle down just to uproot myself all over again. I definitely couldn't make it 8 years. The thought of doing this for 3 years drives me up the wall sometimes.

Is this different than before I met my SO? Well, I refused to even consider an LDR before I met my SO, so this is a big step for me.

[TknandLvnIt]

We see each other about four times a year if we are lucky so about every three months which isn't bad but still difficult. I would love the prospect of more visits. I wouldn't be able to make it more than 5 years long distance and neither would my SO. He doesn't see us "dating" for longer than two years which means he plans to propose by that time and then we would marry and move to a city of our choice or to one or the others home town. I love the progression of our relationship that there is an end in sight and that we are both moving towards that. That's all that I can ask for and I pray that things work out that way.

[milaya]

I actually see my SO around 6 times a year. (we try to be together for around 35-40% of the year).
As things are now we're looking at 3 more years apart, so 4 years in total.
I must admit, that's also my limit. The distance is taking a great toll on me. I feel stressed, worried and such things all the time. We can never plan anything fully before last minute, because his work company changes his vacations as they please and often even take them away. So I've actually grown scared of planning, because I get this feeling that it won't work anyway - since he and I has met too many disappointments that way.
Think the stress is showing, because I've lost 6 kilos, since I met him without any diet at all. Thinking there's 3 more years left is hard, but I can't quit my university to be with him.

So, guess my final answer is 4-5 years. I have to be realistic. I want to get a family and such in a early age (around 25 years old), so if I had to wait 7+ years, that would ruin it. (considering I'm 21 now).

[Caitlin2009]

thats hard to answer :/ waiting 8 years is good for some people because they were meant to do so, i know if i wasent moving over there next year then it would be at least a few years before we could close the distance with her moving here. I firmly believe we are where we should be in waiting to end the distance, some people its meant to take 2 years or its meant to take 5 years or more! I dunno if we could do it for 5 years or more its already hard with the 2 years we've been dating, thats something i would have to ask Denise about. And 5-6 times a year with visiting? now that would be awesome!!!

[leonsfangirl]

I haven't really thought about it,
I've been involved with my SO nearly 3 years but only been offically in a relationship for 5 months (to be blunt about it, i was married so was cheating on my husband with my now SO) We havent met in person yet but will be meeting in the summer when he visits.
So right now my answer would be as long as its takes, i'll do the long distance thing until we can close it with him coming here as my moving isnt an option (i have kids) I believe my future lies with him and if i have to wait 2 years or 20 years then i will.... BUT
We haven't met yet, so i only know the long distance part of our relationship, i've never had him close,never had to say goodbye and be unsure of when i get to see him again.
So, as of right now, i can go on doing this forever BUT i cant say that wont change after meeting... as i will 100% know exactly what i'm missing and it will be harder to deal with the long distance after that (i think and i've read on here that it gets harder)

[lucybelle]

My SO and I were LD for 1.5 years. I could have gone up to 2, maybe 3 years. Then I would have moved on. I'm inpatient and he knows that. In fact he quite often told me one of the reasons he moved in was because *quote* "I think I'll lose you if I don't"

[nicole]

I am going to say as long as it takes, with the mind-set I have at the moment, so long as we get our visits in. If we didn't have visits, I don't know what my answer would be. He is the one for me, and if one plan falls though, I will keep making plans till one finally works. So, so long as I have a plan in action, I'll wait as long as is needed.

[MathnSkating]

I believe 2 years is my limit, at least at 2 years I must have a plan. It doesn't have to be moving in with the person, but living in the same state at the very least. I've watched a lot of my friends go through LDRs and I've watched them all fall apart at around 2-3 years. I think at that point it gets infinitely more difficult. But I can see my guy once a month or so if we alternate flying. Not at the moment, but when I'm not in Israel anymore. At the moment neither of us can afford the flight. Also I can't leave because that'd make it that much harder to finish the year here. So 2.5 more months or so before we see each other in person.

[adrian]

Me and my SO have been able to see eachother every 6 weeks. I can't imagine only seeing him once or twice a year. The amount of time we get to see eachother, is still not enough for me. He is planning on moving to where I am, I have children and not able to leave, if that were and optin I'd be there now.

When we first decided, yep lets try this long distance thing. I had no idea how hard it would be. I absolutely get very insecure and miss him so very much, daily! To finally answer the question, I really don't know, sometimes I think I can't keep doing this. And of course I know it will be worth it and we will close the gap and I can wait. But, I know I couldn't wait 6 - 8 years. I can't imagine, doing this till next year. Yes, I will but don't want to have the distance anymore.

[BabyGund]

I come from a different perspective - no, I don't need an end date. If The Boy gets the promotion he has been grooming and working for all this time, I don't see us ever closing the distance any more than the 2 time zones we've spoken about. (we're currently 5 time zones apart.) The 2nd MBA I am working on is a bit specialized and the industry is very very small and limited where he lives. I have many more opportunities here.

The Boy and I probably could see each other 5-6 times per year (every other month) if it wasn't for scheduling issues; if I move the 2 time zones apart, that's actually very possible. As it is, we are on pace for about 3-4 times per year. And I'm good with that for as long as we're both good with that. I am enjoying the relationship as it is right now; the future will handle itself. "Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

[kat4301]

Wow, let me say that I am impressed, people on are have much better attitudes about it. When I started LD I thought two years would be easy and we are within driving distance of one another, but having gone through seven months already, I cannot say I could do it again, it might be because we lived together before this, but who knows. I am just so amazed at how well people handle their distance and time zone differences, I don't know if I could ever personally get it through more than two years myself.

[Moon]

I'm in a position where I'm not trying to get married, or have kids, I have a grown daughter already, and we're not interested in having children. Because of that, I don't worry much about an end date, I'm good for the next few years. Sure, I'd love to be with him every day, but we're international so 3-4 trips a year is all we can do, because of how much vacation I can take.

I'm in no rush, as I don't really want to think about leaving my daughter, and moving to Finland before I can speak Finnish would make getting a job damn near impossible. I'm working on my language skills, and I figure I'll be fluent in about 40 years For us, the end date isn't the priority right now, we're happy. We will end it eventually, once all our loose ends are tied up and the time is right. I guess because I'm older, my relationship priorities are a little different, we're also both used to our independence. One day we'll be in the same place, its not the right time just yet.

[bethann]

I already know mine is going to be for at least three years maybe more depending on if he decides to go for a second major but we've know each other ten years before we started dating so i have plenty of memories and things to look back on

[Silviar]

I wouldn't say forever - blanket statements aren't useful at all. But given what you said, getting to see each other 5-6 times a year, then as long as we had a goal together to meet, I'd be willing to wait about 3-4 years. But I'm also in a position where I can move easily, so I feel that I shouldn't 'have' to wait longer when it's unnecessary.

However, if we had legit circumstances keeping us apart, like school, I could wait until school is done for the right person.