So a short backstory on myself: met my girlfriend two years ago at a concert across the country. It took a year for us to work things out between us so that we could begin a relationship together. At first it felt like we were inseparable - we didn't go much time without texting or calling each other. She's only been here a couple of times, and the last time she visited, it had almost been a half of a year since I had seen her last. Needless to say, it's taken every ounce of dedication I have to hang in there.
Here's the problem - as time has gone on and I've seen her less and less, I don't feel like we have the same connection we used to. Some days we barely text each other, and we've gone days without talking to each other on the phone. She's got a lot of problems going on in her life and she's not doing well healthwise, but she won't let me move to be there and help her out in her life. She is older than I am, and she feels that I need to get my life in order first. I understand her viewpoint, but she is ill now and really needs someone to care for her.
Any motion of me moving there for her has been rejected every time. I almost feel like I'm not being told the entire truth. She's had relationship problems in the past with people treating her poorly and she doesn't deserve it - she's the sweetest person I've ever known. She's been perfect to myself and my family. It's just the one on one "intimacy" seems to have disappeared over time. She's become more and more self concious and won't even send me a photo of herself, just to see her face. Any form of long distance "affection" or "intimacy" does not exist anymore, for one reason or another.
I sort of feel rejected at times because of this. I've been very understanding and offering to help her in any way I can, but I'm shut out every time I offer this. Our relationship mainly consists of a few text messages each day because she's not feeling well enough to talk on the phone. I rarely ever get a goodnight text from her anymore, or even a good morning text. I used to get both and I still make sure I do it to let her know I'm thinking of her.
I don't know. Part of me thinks that because of her health/life she's already starting to close me out of her life and perhaps end this relationship. She's suggested taking a "break" a time or two, but I don't believe it would be a break - it would be a permanent fracture.
So I come to this forum to see what you guys offer me. I might be young (graduated college last year) but my feelings are real for her and I do want to take care of her when she's sick. It's impossible to do that over a thousand miles away.
Advice is appreciated - thank you.
Here's the problem - as time has gone on and I've seen her less and less, I don't feel like we have the same connection we used to. Some days we barely text each other, and we've gone days without talking to each other on the phone. She's got a lot of problems going on in her life and she's not doing well healthwise, but she won't let me move to be there and help her out in her life. She is older than I am, and she feels that I need to get my life in order first. I understand her viewpoint, but she is ill now and really needs someone to care for her.
Any motion of me moving there for her has been rejected every time. I almost feel like I'm not being told the entire truth. She's had relationship problems in the past with people treating her poorly and she doesn't deserve it - she's the sweetest person I've ever known. She's been perfect to myself and my family. It's just the one on one "intimacy" seems to have disappeared over time. She's become more and more self concious and won't even send me a photo of herself, just to see her face. Any form of long distance "affection" or "intimacy" does not exist anymore, for one reason or another.
I sort of feel rejected at times because of this. I've been very understanding and offering to help her in any way I can, but I'm shut out every time I offer this. Our relationship mainly consists of a few text messages each day because she's not feeling well enough to talk on the phone. I rarely ever get a goodnight text from her anymore, or even a good morning text. I used to get both and I still make sure I do it to let her know I'm thinking of her.
I don't know. Part of me thinks that because of her health/life she's already starting to close me out of her life and perhaps end this relationship. She's suggested taking a "break" a time or two, but I don't believe it would be a break - it would be a permanent fracture.
So I come to this forum to see what you guys offer me. I might be young (graduated college last year) but my feelings are real for her and I do want to take care of her when she's sick. It's impossible to do that over a thousand miles away.
Advice is appreciated - thank you.
Comment