How do you Cope when your SO leaves?

[holdinghands]

if i cry im acting childish and am not mature enough to have a relationship thats what my mom says

That is terrible! Don't listen to her, you are allowed to cry when your So leaves. I cried the entire train journey home! :P But as LMH said, just keep thinking of what you can look forward to. Another thing is to make sure you have time for yourself, as I used to talk to Tom literally24/7, even having the cam on whilst we slept, and it was draining having the distance so emphasised all the time. Take time out to see your friends, get a hoby or something! And just be thankful that you two have such a beautiful relationship

[Malaga]

It doesn't get any easier, in fact, for me personally it just gets harder and harder to separate. The last visit was definitely the hardest. We both got a little down a couple of days before he had to leave. But when it actually happened, it wasn't half as devastating as I expected it to be. I was still on a high as I felt like we got closer than ever and that level of closeness is maintained no matter the distance. For me the crying only starts after a few weeks, when this feeling of a high wears off a little.

So I never actually cried after goodbye, but that's just me - everyone has their own way of coping. I think crying's normal so don't worry about it. Try not to take your mum's words too seriously. Maybe that's just her very clumsy way of saying it would help you to focus on the nice memories and realise it's not a final goodbye. Just like LMH said as well. You will see him again and you will talk to him in the mean time, maintaining the closeness. You guys are in this together, you may be physically alone but you're not abandoned. Talk about the good times you had, plan stuff for your next visit, whenever that might be. I find that getting absorbed in happy memories and fun plans, especially if you do it together, definitely helps more than being focused on the fact you're not together at the moment.

[screammaayday]

It's perfectly normal to be upset when your SO leaves, especially if they've been there for awhile. It can be hard to adjust to being alone again. The first time my SO left after our visit, I cried like a baby for a few days. The second time she left? I cried like a baby for weeks whenever she was brought into the conversation. I couldn't get used to her not being there when I woke up. For some reason, I feel like it's harder to be the one being left behind, as you have all of those memories and reminders. (I have been on both ends) I didn't cry as much when I left her, just on the plane back home and after that I made myself not think about it so I wouldn't cry. Don't be afraid to cry because you miss them; you have every right in the world to be upset when someone you love leaves you.

[Malaga]

For some reason, I feel like it's harder to be the one being left behind, as you have all of those memories and reminders.

So true. I always dread that lonely drive home after I've dropped him off. He too when he's in that situation, he can't listen to any music as it makes him too emotional.

[LostInLove]

I'm usually the one to visit, so when I leave I usually burst into tears when we hug goodbye, do okay on the plane flight home, and when I'm finally alone in my room I cry until I feel empty. I also cry when I'm having a bad day and really missing him, sometimes I cry when he can't call me for a couple days....basically, I'm a crier. It's how my body naturally deals with pain, stress, anything like that, and it's a hell of a lot better than bottling up your feelings.

To simplify my answer, it's absolutely normal to cry.

[Caitlin2009]

its defiantly normal especially if they visit for so long, the last visit it took me 2 and half weeks to stop crying everyday, its ok that you do it shows you love and miss them

[knhdarw]

So not only did my SO leave yesterday i just found out that my parents dont want me with him idk what to do im sad all around and just wanna run into his arms but i cant he's 1000 miles away my heart is broke my parents mean alot to me but so does he so in the long run ima have to choose my happiness or what my parents think is right for me and have them upset with my decision...

[GatoGirl]

So not only did my SO leave yesterday i just found out that my parents dont want me with him idk what to do im sad all around and just wanna run into his arms but i cant he's 1000 miles away my heart is broke my parents mean alot to me but so does he so in the long run ima have to choose my happiness or what my parents think is right for me and have them upset with my decision...

Oh wow, so you are in a double-tough situation, with a lot of no-win in it for you! I think you have every right to cry, and like someone else said, maybe this is your parents' way of trying to protect you from being hurt when he leaves, etc. But it still hurts on both sides, him leaving and them responding this way. It could be they just don't get the LD thing. Some folks never do, and often it's the family who doesn't. Which is crazy but there it is, and---you're still stuck in a rough situation.

[knhdarw]

yea its not fun and now my mom says if its ment to be in a year or so when im done with school then i gotta do what i think is right. But yea rough situation from all sides my heart aches cause he's gone and in the same day my heart broke cause they dont approve of him. He's the 1st guy ive ever let them meet because NO one else i have ever felt this way about and also i wanted to protect my self from this very situation...

[WakeUpSusie]

It was hard at first for me, but I kind of got used to it after a while. I still cried a little bit once in a while but I kind of got used to it. I was always returning to college when we were seperated so I was able to throw myself back into studies and sports and clubs and friends right away which was therapeutic. There were even times that I was grateful for the distance because it allowed me to experience my university life fully while still having him be the most important part of my life. I don't regret anything!

[knhdarw]

yes i get that and he wants me to finish school and all that and have my life besides him and experence everything i can before i have to enter into the what everyone tells me is the real world outside of college. But its harder knowing my parents dont want me with him he expected it before they ever met him just by comments he'd over hear he knew they werent gonna accept him and i was praying and hoping he was wrong but alas he wasnt so im stuck in the middle of what ive always known and my future

[knhdarw]

David left again yesterday and once again and i feel numb and crying i miss him so much i want this distance to be over with we've gotten into the stage where we are content and comfortable and idk just wish i could feel happy and not so sad. I want a relationship everyday not just every 4 months its so hard and i dont wanna be with anyone else but its getting harder and harder to have him leave

[Ms.Justine]

I think it is completely normal to cry after they leave. I honestly feel families just say that because they are at a loss for words what to say. KEEP YOURSELF BUSY! Go out with your girls and have fun, school is starting soon if your enrolled in classes that will help.