Although I've only ever been the one to leave.. I voted that being left behind would be worse.. I can see how it would be because when I have to leave my SO, as hard as it is, I have all the distractions from the moment I leave (getting into the taxi, going to the airport, ride home).. I can't show my emotions.. I hate it because it feels so wrong to be leaving him, and I have this urge to tell the taxi/plane/whatever to take me back... but I know I can't do that because my family and work are expecting me back in Canada soon.. and so the whole journey back home I'm quiet.. almost to the point of being emotional but holding it together.. and then when I get back to Canada, there is everyone asking how my trip was..and I have to spend a bit of time talking to them, when all I want to do is log back onto the internet to talk to him again to see how he's doing and let my emotions free. It's annoying too.. because I think it's happened at least 2 of the times when I've left and had to return to Canada, my laptop was off so long it took awhile to startup.. so it made it even more frustrating and I think the tears started coming. And then the first night I have to sleep, it's hard too. Though I imagine it's harder to sleep when you know just a day or so ago, you weren't alone in that same bed.
So, I voted being the one left behind as worse because from moment one, you are left with your emotions, and there are all the things around you that are memories of the one that left and the smell lingering in the air, the empty spot on the bed, little things left behind for next time... I think about how things my SO has said and then also imagine one day when he comes to visit, how it'll be and I can see how much harder it would be.. because when he will visit me, it is more like he will be in my "life/world" now and then when he'd have to leave, it would be much harder to return to normal living.. I remember when I have to leave my SO, he always tells me after it's like somethings missing when he walks back into the house.. I don't know how I'll handle it..
So, I voted being the one left behind as worse because from moment one, you are left with your emotions, and there are all the things around you that are memories of the one that left and the smell lingering in the air, the empty spot on the bed, little things left behind for next time... I think about how things my SO has said and then also imagine one day when he comes to visit, how it'll be and I can see how much harder it would be.. because when he will visit me, it is more like he will be in my "life/world" now and then when he'd have to leave, it would be much harder to return to normal living.. I remember when I have to leave my SO, he always tells me after it's like somethings missing when he walks back into the house.. I don't know how I'll handle it..
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