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    #1

    Appropriate or Inappropriate Picture?

    Alrighty I need an opinion.

    I was on Facebook today when I noticed a semi-friend (semi being I know her and have partied with her a few times when visiting my SO but we don't talk) had her profile picture of her and my SO. At first I was a little confused by that so I clicked to check it out closer. It is him (obviously drunk) with his tongue sticking out and her boobs right behind. It's that camera trick where it looks like someone is doing something (him licking her) but really isn't.

    I am upset that he would even take a picture like that and that this person who is supposedly a friend of mine who put that as her profile picture. I trust them both so cheating isn't the issue but I feel like I should be respected. I would think my SO wouldn't take pictures like that and her for realizing as a profile picture a ton of people see that. It was at a baseball game that I wasn't even invited to even though I live 15 minutes away from the stadium.

    I haven't said anything to her because a mutual friend says I would hurt her feelings. I brought it up to my SO but he told me I'm being ridiculous and hasn't talked to me since. I just would never take a picture like that let alone let it be a profile picture because I wouldn't want to upset him and I think it is disrespectful.

    Enough ranting and raving. Help Please?
    *It doesn't matter where you are but who you are with*
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    #2
    I don't think he meant anything by it, and he was drunk & if nothing actually happened between them and isn't going on between them, then there's nothing to worry about. I mean, you can tell him that you don't like pictures like that, but that's about all you can do.

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      #3
      Ack, I'd definitely be upset being in the same situation. I mean, people don't always make the best decisions with pictures when they're drunk, but he should be responding to the fact that you feel disrespected!
      But before you talk to her about it, talk to him about it again. I'd say he'd be in a bit of an awkward situation with that being up there - of his own making, mind you - because it's not always easy to ask a friend to take something off facebook. She probably doesn't realise it'd offend you having that up there, but I'm always skeptical. I don't think anyone posts something on facebook without thinking about its intended audience. So mention it to him again. And then really, if he's still being defensive... that's a bigger issue. Him telling you that you're being ridiculous and then not talking to you sounds like something more important to address. I'd say have a chat with him about THAT more than anything else. That shows more lack of respect for your feelings!!


      Love will not betray you, dismay or enslave you, it will set you free
      █♥█
      Met: Cork, Ireland - December 31, 2009 • Started Dating: Cork, Ireland - May 22, 2010 • Became LD: July 15, 2010 • My Move From Canada to UK: October 26, 2011
      Closed the distance June 18, 2012!

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        #4
        I imagine neither of them realized the picture would be offensive to you. Everybody has different perspectives on what is and isn't appropriate. If it makes you uncomfortable I'd bring it up with your SO again in a really calm manor. Don't get aggressive, but rather just try and explain your point of view.

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          #5
          I think of myself as not a jealous girl..but if my SO was taking picture like that I would be upset...I would feel it was disrespectful that he was acting like that with another girl. At the same I know he would feel it unnacceptable if I did something like that...and I would feel left out that he didnt invite you and you were so close..I know I would have jumped at the oppurtunity invite him with as much as I see him and being so close :P...good luck figuring it all out!
          " Love don't run....Love don't hide...Love don't turn away or back down from a fight.
          Baby I'm right here..and I and going anywhere"


          Mitch and Stephanie July 14, 2011

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            #6
            I'm trying to text with him right now about it (that's the most communication I can hope for) and he won't even listen to my side. He is calling it a stupid picture and told me I shouldn't act like this. I don't care about any other picture taken that day but this one. I guess we'll see then.
            *It doesn't matter where you are but who you are with*

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              #7
              Originally posted by kteire View Post
              So mention it to him again. And then really, if he's still being defensive... that's a bigger issue. Him telling you that you're being ridiculous and then not talking to you sounds like something more important to address. I'd say have a chat with him about THAT more than anything else. That shows more lack of respect for your feelings!!
              Yep, I feel like that was something that stood out to me more than the picture itself, though that still is bothersome. It would definitely bother me, anyway :/

              Originally posted by jlb14 View Post
              I'm trying to text with him right now about it (that's the most communication I can hope for) and he won't even listen to my side. He is calling it a stupid picture and told me I shouldn't act like this. I don't care about any other picture taken that day but this one. I guess we'll see then.
              Well, no offense to you or anything :c but I would feel so hurt if my SO said something like that to me...just because we're both really open with each other about everything and if he reacted in that way I would feel like he wasn't taking my feelings into consideration...

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                #8
                Originally posted by jlb14 View Post
                I'm trying to text with him right now about it (that's the most communication I can hope for) and he won't even listen to my side. He is calling it a stupid picture and told me I shouldn't act like this. I don't care about any other picture taken that day but this one. I guess we'll see then.
                This would throw up bigger red flags to me than the picture. I would be really offended if my SO wasn't willing to listen to my opinion or even make an attempt at having an open conversation.

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                  #9
                  This would upset me for sure, i would feel a bit hurt that after he knew about the picture he wouldn't think it would offend me. I may be a jealous girl, so maybe its not a big deal. But to me i would feel uncomfortable about a pic like that up.
                  And then on top of that to dismiss your feelings like that, i think you should tell him your upset about it and would like to talk about it and until then, don't call or text and wait to he will really sit and talk about it and hear your side and feelings.
                  I love you Nathan <3
                  sigpic
                  5/25/09 <3

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                    #10
                    If my SO really drunk with his friends and one of his gal friend making picture with effect as she licking his front pants... i would be so mad...

                    ohhh drunk or no drunk, they were 1000% sober when post it to facebook.

                    Theres limit between having fun and hurting people.... its not fun when u did that and you're not 5 years old.... (when a 5 saying something or doing something wrong adults often giggle and laugh at)i think your gf an adult who knows that also.

                    Sorry if my post sound bit "strong" and "uptight" but anyway... just my thought...

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                      #11
                      Wow =/ Even though they probably meant nothing by it and it was just a bit of fun, i can see why your upset. It would bother me too to be honest. Try speaking to him again would probably be my advice and try and clear it with him. Just tell him how it makes you feel so he is aware of it.

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                        #12
                        That would piss me off. And it would make me furious if my SO just brushed off my feelings and told me I was being ridiculous. I would tell him that that kind of stuff is NOT OKAY. It's okay to party. It's okay to be with friends. It's okay to have fun. But as soon as you start taking raunchy photos with another chick-- you have crossed the line. I mean would he show that picture to his grandma? His mother? His father? If not, than it's not appropriate and he needs to ask that girl to take that picture down.

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                          #13
                          I understand how you feel, but if I was him, and I just took the picture because I was drunk, and the girl was my friend with nothing else going on there, and you got mad at me for it, I would be pretty hurt that you didn't trust me.

                          "In order to attain the impossible, one must attempt the absurd."
                          -Miguel De Cervantes

                          Read our story HERE
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                            #14
                            Originally posted by lucybelle View Post
                            That would piss me off. And it would make me furious if my SO just brushed off my feelings and told me I was being ridiculous. I would tell him that that kind of stuff is NOT OKAY. It's okay to party. It's okay to be with friends. It's okay to have fun. But as soon as you start taking raunchy photos with another chick-- you have crossed the line. I mean would he show that picture to his grandma? His mother? His father? If not, than it's not appropriate and he needs to ask that girl to take that picture down.
                            I completely agree. That sort of behaviour is totally unacceptable and disrespectful--there should be no room for anything like that when someone is in a committed relationship. I would be rightly infuriated if something like this happened to me. Being drunk is no excuse, either--especially, as some one pointed out, the posting of the pictures was likely done in a sober state. Really, "being drunk" can become a very flaccid excuse for many destructive things--it should not be a "get out of jail [or any situation] free pass."

                            He needs to man up and talk this through with you and make some changes for your sake, pronto.

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                              #15
                              Originally posted by uniquefem View Post
                              ohhh drunk or no drunk, they were 1000% sober when post it to facebook.
                              Thats what I was thinking exactly!
                              The fact that he dimisses your feelings like that upsets me. My bf dismissed me like that one time and it did not go over well for him and he hasn't done it again since. You should have a serious talk about that first I think. Let him know you feel disrespected on both accounts. I know I wanted to break up with my bf when we had a fight kind of sort of like that. We ended up talking about it (for like a hr when I was out of town with my friends) and it did get better. alot better. It really surprises me that we went through all that crap early on in our relationship and we're still together and doing pretty well
                              Good luck!

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