In very terrible need of advice.
I've been pretty set in my decision to break up with my boyfriend in a few days. But as the day gets closer I keep flip-flopping back and forth. My family and friends don't really understand long distance relationships, and so rather than being supportive they tend to blow it off and try to act like it's not a real relationship. So I figured I'd spill everything here and see what some of the LDR pros think. I'm going to try to put together a complete and non-babbly account of our year together.
We began dating in August of 2010. I met him about two months before and it was a fairly instant connection. The first few months all we did was spend time together. He called and texted me every chance he had. We'd stay up and watch netflix together. We were hardly ever not speaking. I know that this phase can't last forever, but it was so abrupt in the way that we transitioned. He would randomly not speak to me for days. No responses to my texts, no returning my calls. I would get really worried and it wasn't until I would start to really freak out that he'd start responding to me again.
There were a couple of really shady things as well. He won't add me on facebook, which I know is somewhat trivial and he's told me that he never uses facebook, but when I looked at his page recently, the friend count was higher than it had been. We broke up earlier in the year, and I told him my condition for us to get back together was for him to buy a webcam. I had asked him on multiple occasions to get one, and even offered to get one for him, but he said he would handle it. He ended up guilting me out of it and we got back together. I nagged him about it for a while and he attempted to cam at one point but it wasn't working and he never tried again.
There have been multiple promises made about visits as well that have never even really been discussed let alone taken place. He said Christmas then January then this summer. I tried to go out there and he said he was more comfortable coming here first. I also invited him to come to New Orleans with me for a weekend trip I was taking to a convention with my sister and he backed out at the last minute (although he never really showed much interest in coming anyway).
In the past couple of months things have just continued to deteriorate. I've attempted to talk to him about how him vanishing really upsets me, but he blows it off with "I love you"'s and "I'm really sorry". I get so afraid that that's the only time he'll talk to me for a week that I just ignore it in hopes that he'll actually take it to heart. I can't remember the last time we talked on MSN. Our phone calls are few and far between and when they do happen it's very brief with promises to call back that are never followed through. I've let him know that this kind of stuff really upsets me and that all I really want is a couple minutes a day to just let me know how he is but he never follows through with it.
He was in the path of Hurricane Irene recently, and I attempted to contact him throughout the weekend and let him know I was worried and just wanted him to let me know he was alright. All he said was "hey" on the following Monday. I let him know that I was really upset and that I needed him to figure out what he wanted from me and that if it was another year then he couldn't continue this vanishing act. He said nothing and I've yet to hear a response.
So I decided that if he didn't say anything to me come this Monday then I was finished. I feel like I've been walked on throughout this relationship and no matter how many times I try to talk to him about it he won't budge. The truth of the matter is I'm tremendously in love with this guy and I really don't want this break up to happen and am grasping at any hope that maybe I'm over reacting. I appreciate any feedback and advice you may have. I'm really lost at this point and have no where else to turn.
We began dating in August of 2010. I met him about two months before and it was a fairly instant connection. The first few months all we did was spend time together. He called and texted me every chance he had. We'd stay up and watch netflix together. We were hardly ever not speaking. I know that this phase can't last forever, but it was so abrupt in the way that we transitioned. He would randomly not speak to me for days. No responses to my texts, no returning my calls. I would get really worried and it wasn't until I would start to really freak out that he'd start responding to me again.
There were a couple of really shady things as well. He won't add me on facebook, which I know is somewhat trivial and he's told me that he never uses facebook, but when I looked at his page recently, the friend count was higher than it had been. We broke up earlier in the year, and I told him my condition for us to get back together was for him to buy a webcam. I had asked him on multiple occasions to get one, and even offered to get one for him, but he said he would handle it. He ended up guilting me out of it and we got back together. I nagged him about it for a while and he attempted to cam at one point but it wasn't working and he never tried again.
There have been multiple promises made about visits as well that have never even really been discussed let alone taken place. He said Christmas then January then this summer. I tried to go out there and he said he was more comfortable coming here first. I also invited him to come to New Orleans with me for a weekend trip I was taking to a convention with my sister and he backed out at the last minute (although he never really showed much interest in coming anyway).
In the past couple of months things have just continued to deteriorate. I've attempted to talk to him about how him vanishing really upsets me, but he blows it off with "I love you"'s and "I'm really sorry". I get so afraid that that's the only time he'll talk to me for a week that I just ignore it in hopes that he'll actually take it to heart. I can't remember the last time we talked on MSN. Our phone calls are few and far between and when they do happen it's very brief with promises to call back that are never followed through. I've let him know that this kind of stuff really upsets me and that all I really want is a couple minutes a day to just let me know how he is but he never follows through with it.
He was in the path of Hurricane Irene recently, and I attempted to contact him throughout the weekend and let him know I was worried and just wanted him to let me know he was alright. All he said was "hey" on the following Monday. I let him know that I was really upset and that I needed him to figure out what he wanted from me and that if it was another year then he couldn't continue this vanishing act. He said nothing and I've yet to hear a response.
So I decided that if he didn't say anything to me come this Monday then I was finished. I feel like I've been walked on throughout this relationship and no matter how many times I try to talk to him about it he won't budge. The truth of the matter is I'm tremendously in love with this guy and I really don't want this break up to happen and am grasping at any hope that maybe I'm over reacting. I appreciate any feedback and advice you may have. I'm really lost at this point and have no where else to turn.
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