Love on line?

[Sierra]

I don't think it's possible to truly love someone you've never met, but I do believe it's possible to find love online. It's where I found my boyfriend and he's the man of my dreams.

[ClipitsWings]

Met my guy online, as did a ton of others here; of course it is possible. also considering the whole spectrum of people, you'll see both people who already knew what love was going in as well as people who wanted to avoid a relationship online at all costs. those two sorts alone saying they're in love should be enough to prove it

:P I love my slutmuffin. Even if I haven't met him in person quite yet. I still know him deeply, known him for years, we've been there for each other, plus another thousand things that feel just the same, if not better than meeting irl first.

[kireinamida]

It is. That's how I met the love of my life.

[HollzHeartsChris]

I know it can happen, because it happened to my SO and I and I don't regret it for the world.

[Sierra]

Met my guy online, as did a ton of others here; of course it is possible. also considering the whole spectrum of people, you'll see both people who already knew what love was going in as well as people who wanted to avoid a relationship online at all costs. those two sorts alone saying they're in love should be enough to prove it

:P I love my slutmuffin. Even if I haven't met him in person quite yet. I still know him deeply, known him for years, we've been there for each other, plus another thousand things that feel just the same, if not better than meeting irl first.

I want to touch on this based on what I said about not being able to actually be in love with someone you know only online.
Our brain, without us knowing, goes through a ton of different processes which allow us to fall in love, it involves kiss, smell ... the likes. Without having these things you have no way to know your BODY'S (which has a HUGE part in the love process) response to your significant other.

I felt like I was in love with my boyfriend for at least a year before I met him, but as soon as I saw him at the airport, wrapped him in my arms and we kissed, while my feelings for him were so strong, that being in love feeling disappeared. I realized that what and who someone is only online is different in person and since then we've been working on building our relationship. I would say what I felt before was much more infatuation than love (but VERY strong). Now that we've gotten to know each other in person, (like I said the intensity of my feelings didn't disappear just the realization that it wasn't really love yet) I know that I am in love with him, and it feels TOTALLY DIFFERENT than the feelings I had for him based on our online "relationship".

("relationship" in quotes because we weren't actually together until we met in person based on a mutual agreement, but neither of us dated and I knew we'd eventually be in a relationship)

[Zephii]

Sierra, I must respectfully disagree.

I met Obi online and fell in love with him online, and he with me. There's no question about it. I asked myself "is this an infatuation?" "how can I know someone I've never met?"... but you just can. His mind, his emotions, reactions, the things that make him who he is... the ocean in between us couldn't hide those things. Yes, physical stuff is important. But, somehow we managed a pretty good approximation of all those things via distance. We both had a pretty good idea of what to expect in bed and each other's touches, we both knew we had a solid basis for compatablity. We discussed styles. I knew what he smelt like (no - not his deoderant, just him). I knew what he kissed like (our role plays were very decriptive lol).
When I got off that plane, we took our role-play and made it real, and that was almost seemless.

I knew my body's response years before I knew the cost of a plane ticket. I know the mind has an amazing ability to fill in missing details, and wont always be right. I know imagination plays a strong part in online relationships... But if it's special or meant to be, or whatever you want to call it, yes - you can know that before you meet. You can certainly fall in love.

Or we can agree to disagree, thats cool too

[Sierra]

Sierra, I must respectfully disagree.

I met Obi online and fell in love with him online, and he with me. There's no question about it. I asked myself "is this an infatuation?" "how can I know someone I've never met?"... but you just can. His mind, his emotions, reactions, the things that make him who he is... the ocean in between us couldn't hide those things. Yes, physical stuff is important. But, somehow we managed a pretty good approximation of all those things via distance. We both had a pretty good idea of what to expect in bed, we both knew we had a solid basis for compatablity. We discussed styles. I knew what he smelt like (no - not his deoderant, just him). I knew what he kissed like (our role plays were very decriptive lol).
When I got off that plane, we took our role-play and made it real, and that was almost seemless.

I knew my body's response years before I knew the cost of a plane ticket. I know the mind has an amazing ability to fill in missing details, and wont always be right. I know imagination plays a strong part in online relationships... But if it's special or meant to be, or whatever you want to call it, yes - you can know that before you meet. You can certainly fall in love.

Or we can agree to disagree, thats cool too

It's totally cool to agree to disagree but nothing can change the fact that there are biological processes that happen in the brain which contribute to love and attractive that you can't reproduce over the internet. These biological processes are important, ESPECIALLY to women because they allow our brain to decide if we have compatible immunology with the person we are interacting with, if we are closely related, and smell has a huge part to play in this all as well.

I'm not saying that imagination has much to do with falling in love online, just that you can't change your bodies biological need to figure this stuff out. Most of us, we get lucky. Think about how large the population of the world is and I believe that meeting someone further away, really makes it (obviously) easier for our bodies to be compatible with each other.

As women we are programmed to have children, we carry the burden of making sure someone is a good biological match before we can actually 'fall in love'.

In your case, I would say, you got lucky. Hell, so did I! But roleplaying kissing doesn't change the fact that when saliva is exchanged your brain processes that chemistry and tells you where to go from there. You cannot reproduce that over the internet. It's impossible.

There's no way to predict the way our body will respond to each others in person, especially because we have no control over these processes I've just mentioned. We can KNOW we're an emotionally compatible match, but love is much more than emotion, it's about biology too.

As I said, I thought I was in love with my now boyfriend, but I also realized the importance of getting to know each other in person, getting to know how we interacted together, and again, these all can be presented differently over the internet. It's GREAT that so many of our relationships have worked out the way that they have, and I'm in love with my boyfriend, but like I said, I thought I was in love with him before we met, but after I realized we needed to grow together more as a couple before I could really have those true feelings of love.

Plus, how many stories do you read about people who met online but when they met in person the chemistry just wasn't there that was before? It happens all the time. WE, here at LFAD are the lucky ones.

---------- Post added at 12:38 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:36 PM ----------

I also want to add, I am an EXTREMELY rational person, and everyone tells me this is an admirable characteristic, I don't easily get away in romantic notions and I think that's partially what gives me a different -- lets say more detached -- perspective.

[leonsfangirl]

Yes you can 100% fall in love online as many other couples on here have proven.

Love is not a thought process, if that was the case we could pick and choose who we fall for and decide when we don't love someone anymore which isn't possible. Love is more mental that physical, kisses and what not strengthen the bond that you already have with knowing someone. You dont need to meet someone in person to get to know them as a person.

[Sierra]

Yes you can 100% fall in love online as many other couples on here have proven.

Love is not a thought process, if that was the case we could pick and choose who we fall for and decide when we don't love someone anymore which isn't possible. Love is more mental that physical, kisses and what not strengthen the bond that you already have with knowing someone. You dont need to meet someone in person to get to know them as a person.

No, you don't need to meet someone to know them as a person, but you do need to meet them in person to know how you guys really interact and your body's response to the other person which is EXTREMELY important. If you guys doubt this I would really recommend reading about the process of the body and it's role in creating couples.

Humans are NOT monogamous by nature. Love is something created to form a bond between a man and a woman to nurture a child. I'm sorry but it's scientific fact.


Fact or fiction: You have kissed a person you've been totally repulsed by after and didn't really know why.


ETA: I totally understand why this would be an unpopular opinion here but all my studies on human behavior and human sexuality has taught me this.

[PríncipeAzul]

No, you don't need to meet someone to know them as a person, but you do need to meet them in person to know how you guys really interact and your body's response to the other person which is EXTREMELY important. If you guys doubt this I would really recommend reading about the process of the body and it's role in creating couples.

Humans are NOT monogamous by nature. Love is something created to form a bond between a man and a woman to nurture a child. I'm sorry but it's scientific fact.


Fact or fiction: You have kissed a person you've been totally repulsed by after and didn't really know why.


ETA: I totally understand why this would be an unpopular opinion here but all my studies on human behavior and human sexuality has taught me this.

I completely understand your perspective and point of view. I have taken a liking into studying human behavior and human sexuality as well and so I know the biological responses and triggers you have discussed here. There is no way to dispute them. They are statistically accurate data conducted through studies. It's science. Love is as much science as it is everything else. I'm on board with you there.

At the same time.. Science has proved it can't explain everything. Scientific facts are what we as humans are capable of comprehending to this point. I can't say that I know, or anyone does for that matter, if there are things we can't comprehend as a species. There are plenty we can't explain, the largest being god, heaven and religion in general.

All I can say is it's nice to know a bit of basis behind the feelings I have with my partner and why my body ticks why it does with her. Knowing these scientific facts give me that piece of mind. With that said, we met and fell in love through several means of communication outside of physically meeting one another for quite some time. There is something to be said about that feeling.

We're still learning about the nature of love and so my answer to this thread is... Sure, you can fall in love on line.

[Sierra]

All I can say is it's nice to know a bit of basis behind the feelings I have with my partner and why my body ticks why it does with her. Knowing these scientific facts give me that piece of mind. With that said, we met and fell in love through several means of communication outside of physically meeting one another for quite some time. There is something to be said about that feeling.

I'm not attempting to take away from that at all. The feelings I have for my partner were and still are extremely strong before we met and now after. All I'm saying is that love has to do with biology and science as well and that's NOT something we can replicate online.

[Lissy]

Love is something created to form a bond between a man and a woman to nurture a child. I'm sorry but it's scientific fact.

What about same-sex couples? :3

[alw83]

Yes I do think that it is possible. While I wouldn't say I'm in love yet (strong like and things are on the right track to be in love if it keeps going well) but I know a good number of people who met their now spouse online. It's totally possible.

[Rosebud]

Sierra, I'm genuinely confused. So are you saying you need to physically touch, exchange saliva and be that level of intimate with your partner before you know if you love them? I knew I loved my boyfriend before I met him and although we have physically been together a few times we still have not "exchanged saliva" or done much more than held hands or hugged. Does that mean I still don't know if I'm actually in love with him? I don't feel driven by any need to find a mate to procreate with or whathaveyou because sex interests me very little, and having a baby interests me even less. It almost drives me to the point of wanting to surgically make it impossible to have a child before I even have sex. So am I incapable of knowing what love is?

[Sierra]

What about same-sex couples? :3

To be honest, I'm not entirely 100% sure, I believe that you're born being attracted to who/what sex you're attracted to but the desire to still build and nurture a bond for a greater purpose is still there.

Sierra, I'm genuinely confused. So are you saying you need to physically touch, exchange saliva and be that level of intimate with your partner before you know if you love them? I knew I loved my boyfriend before I met him and although we have physically been together a few times we still have not "exchanged saliva" or done much more than held hands or hugged. Does that mean I still don't know if I'm actually in love with him? I don't feel driven by any need to find a mate to procreate with or whathaveyou because sex interests me very little, and having a baby interests me even less. It almost drives me to the point of wanting to surgically make it impossible to have a child before I even have sex. So am I incapable of knowing what love is?

Yes, I am. These are all things you AREN'T aware of that your body does for you. That's fine that you don't want babies, but it doesn't change your biological nature. Or what your body does to you. Btw, there are other chemicals, the chemicals of bonding that are exchanged without kiss, just by touch, so as soon as you touch someone you start that process.

You're twisting my words to serve your purpose.

Firstly, saliva exchange and sex are not the only way to bond to a person, you bond through smell, and simply by touching. Chemicals are exchanged between your skin to form a bond, if you don't believe me, LOOK IT UP, this is scientific fact. Are you actually in love with the person you're with? I have no idea, I'm not you, but you guys have spent PHYSICAL TIME together.

However, there is no denying that you have been together physically, and thus allowed the chemical exchange which allows bonding. What I'm saying is that online only, you cannot reproduce this. The touching, the kissing, the way someone smells, ALL of these things serve a purpose, as does love. As humans we are LITERALLY built for sex, which is why all of this happens. Again, if you don't believe me, LOOK IT UP.

I'm not saying that because you haven't had sex it's impossible to know what love is, or to be in love, what I'm saying is that without meeting someone in person, allowing your brain to process the chemicals and hormones this person gives off, you may think you're in love, but it's called infatuation. And that's FINE, infatuation often turns into love. Like I said, I believe that you cannot truly know if you're in love with someone online until you meet them in person.