Cultural Differences?

[Silvaria]

I'm American and he's Canadian, so there isn't a huge cultural difference, other than a few slang terms, and Mexican food.

I grew up eating tacos and burritos, among other things...he's never had Mexican food in his entire life! That shocked me, lol...

When he comes to visit, which will hopefully be early next year, I'm going to make him chicken enchiladas. I have a feeling he'll be won over.

[nicole]

My SO is American, I am British:

- Bacon- after eating English bacon he has agreed American bacon sucks. I honestly don't know how they live with such awful stuff It was funny, I got some, and discovered I didn't even need to spray the pan with fry-light- you know it's bad for you when it cooks itself o_O

- Chilli- We have had a MASSIVE argument about this, and it's still ongoing. In England, you eat chilli with rice. or "fries" or a Jacket Potato. Apparently in America you eat it like soup??? I don't understand.

- Money- I am used to my colourful money- it's especially useful after you've been drinking- you can go off the colour of the note rather then trying to read the numbers I also like 1 pound coins. In America, I check my wallet, think I'm rich.... it's ALL $1 bills

- I have a rather extensive slang repertoire, I thought we'd got to the end of it, but I keep coming up with new hum-dingers which send him into bouts of hysterical laughter. Yesterday he did a really horrible sounding burp as we were skyping (he sounded like a freaking dinosaur) and I called him a "dirty screb"... he laughed hard for a good 10 minutes with that one. But yeah different words for things "washing" for "laundry", "surgery" instead of "doctor's office" etc

- Drive-throughs-they have drive-throughs for EVERYTHING. Drive-through Pharmacy, grocery. The final straw was when my SO took me to post a letter.... to a drive-through POST BOX. He was subjected to a rant along the lines of "You people are that lazy you can't #$%^& Post a letter with out a car?!?!?!" I understand everything is spaced out and you need a car to get everywhere, but I live in a town where you can walk to EVERYTHING, so driving absolutely everywhere seems ridiculous to me.

- In England, you can buy an electric kettle really cheaply, in America I have to have a medieval kettle you put on the stove... it even has a whistler.... idk

- This isn't about my SO, but on the whole, Americans (or at least the American company I keep ) are so much more dramatic then us English folk. Mainly as we are mostly passive-aggressive fumers, and Americans are on the whole, LOUD. My roommate would have drama every week with some boy treating her bad etc and I'd be like "O_O" people act like this seriously? It was exhausting just listening to some of my American friends' drama! Mostly it usually comes down to the "talking" thing they told me about- where you can "talk" to several different people, and none of them can be mad at you for flirting and/or sleeping with other people because you're not "exclusive". But of course people DO get mad, because that is crappy behaviour... college kids I think that's a reason why my SO fell in love with me. His ex's running round acting all dramatic and crazy, then there's the British girl who can solve all her problems with a nice cup of tea. Obviously I win

- English people insult the people they love. We are mean to each other and we call it "banter". Me and my dad are professionals at it.

Example "This is my friend Ben. He's a #$%^ but he's ok really"

It's fun. My SO had to learn that I wasn't being a bitch, I was just being affectionate He even tries to fight back now. Fails. But at least he tries.

- Caffeine- American drinks have WAY more caffeine then the English equivalents. I do not drink soda anymore when I am there. My friend and I bought a box of soda each when we first arrived, and we were all jittery, bouncing off the walls and had the most massive head-aches ever. Even the sprite has caffeine!

There are probably more but I can't think at the moment! I sound like I don't like the place, but I love it there I swear! haha

[uniquefem]

My fiance is from Russia and I'm American. In Russia, when you go to someone's house you should always remove your shoes at the door, and the polite thing for them to do is to give you a pear of slippers, or "home shoes" as my guy calls them, to keep your feet warm while visiting. Also, Russians always wash their hands after being out during the day when they enter the house. I actually have adopted both of these habits here in the US. I know some people here like people to take off their shoes in the house, but not everyone is like that here. I began instituting this rule for my (our) apartment after I came back from living with him for 6 weeks. Russians don't like very cold beverages, and we like to load our drinks down with lots of ice. Russians like room-temperature or slightly cooled but not super cold drinks like juices and sodas. Sweetie says he gets a sore throat from having really cold stuff, even ice cream (although he loves it, lol). When he has a glass of milk he warms it up and doesn't like to just drink cold milk. It's more socially acceptable to push and shove through a crowd of people to get where you need to go in Russia. It's not considered rude. I experienced this aspect of Russian culture for the first time boarding and leaving the Aeroflot plane from NYC to Moscow. There is less "smiling for no reason" in Russia - if you walk down the street alone just smiling, people will take you for something of a simpleton or easily-amused person. I find the "service with a smile" thing of the USA to be fake and tacky to be honest. In Russia, I found that cashiers and servers were nice enough and polite, but they weren't forced to put on a plastered exaggerated smile like they are here. They were more "businesslike" but they did their jobs well and served well for the most part. Going to the farmer's market in my Love's city was interesting. If you look at someone's goods/wares, or if you touch them, the vendor immediately goes into a pretty aggressive sales pitch, extolling the virtues of their product and trying to offer you a good deal. :P My Love likes that he can burp and fart in front of me and I find it amusing and not disgusting. People in Russia are more shy about bodily functions, but he finds it refreshing and liberating that he doesn't have to excuse himself to pass gas in front of me and we can be comfortable together. Those are the most significant cultural differences we've noticed so far, and other than that, we don't find that there's anything too dramatically different we can't handle it between our cultures.

Hehehe.. i really agree about smiling thing, its bit hard to made my SO smiling! while in Asia, everyone is smiling, hahah and he think i am crazy when i did the silly goofy pictures.. but oh well its contagious.. at the end he did the same pictures hehe

About the slipper thingy, its just the same culture in Indonesia, we never use shoe inside the house, it stay outside.

And if you didn't mention there... i thought the warm milk just preference!

hehe thanks for more info about the Russian!

[DemonxOisin]

then there's the British girl who can solve all her problems with a nice cup of tea. Obviously I win

- English people insult the people they love. We are mean to each other and we call it "banter". Me and my dad are professionals at it.

THIS. LOL Isn´t tea just great? My SO just doesn´t get it but... God, I love my electric kettle <3
And haha, I´m notorious for the insulting thing o.o I always have to remember to be nice to Miguel because in Mexico, everyone is always polite and honest. To me, I´m only really polite if being around you makes me uncomfortable. You should see the way I act around this girl he slept with lmao. I think I frighten him sometimes with that.

[Gemini]

Im from California and my SO is from Austria XD, its funny seeing different culture differences.

Over in Austria they say "Good Appetite" in German before they eat. It was funny seeing him say that and my parents staring at him oddly since we don't have any traditional sayings before we eat.

Also over here in Cali socks and sandals mean youv been in prison XD;...and he was generally wearing them like that the whole time, he freaked out and didn't wear socks and sandals again was quite amusing.

Also fast food places here are packed and we always eat out XD; over there he hardly eats out and generally they have fresh fruits grown from there garden.

Its tradition to give a new years gift for new years.

Andd he doesnt have a Santa Claus D: he has some weird Jesus cupid thing im not sure what it is that brings gifts @_@ cant entirely remember. They have these protecters of each town as well.....really the list goes on.

[books]

Some other ones-

-My SO's from a country with two seasons- rainy and dry. Since it rains so much, most people from there can tell if it's going to rain just by looking at the sky. Living there I never even looked at the weather forecast as I could just ask somebody "hey, is it going to rain today?" and they would look at the sky and be able to tell me with exact hourly predictions of when it would start, if it would be heavy rain, how long it would last, etc. Wild!

-Being that my SO is from rural Nicaragua, he grew up using a machete for lots of tasks like trimming weeds and cutting down fruit. There are coconut trees in back of his house and if I want one, all I have to do is ask. He'll grab his machete, cut one down, then slice it open and hand it to me ready to drink...in about 1 minute flat! Love that he can wield a machete so well.

[Minerva]

Tea, haha. My SO wants to bring his own tea when he visits. I told him, "you DO know we have tea here, right?" And he replied "you Americans dumped all the tea in the harbour, so you can't appreciate tea!"

I do have an electric kettle (most Americans don't). It has different settings for white, green, and black tea (I drink all 3 and wanted to have the water the proper temperature for each). I showed it to my SO on Skype to prove I had a kettle. He said, "what's with all the buttons! Americans and their buttons!" I explained that white and green tea brew better at lower temperatures. He replied, "so you just heat the water to a boil and let it cool!" hehehe

Still not sure if I've convinced him to leave his tea at home.

[Moon]

Also over here in Cali socks and sandals mean youv been in prison XD;...and he was generally wearing them like that the whole time, he freaked out and didn't wear socks and sandals again was quite amusing.

Hahahaha! In Finland, all the guys wear socks, usually black, with their sandals I giggle my whole visit and tease my boy mercilessly! It kinda kills the whole idea of them. I bring flip flops (in summer) and wear them everywhere, which he makes fun of, so we're equal at least

[Laura_N]

Hahahaha! In Finland, all the guys wear socks, usually black, with their sandals I giggle my whole visit and tease my boy mercilessly! It kinda kills the whole idea of them. I bring flip flops (in summer) and wear them everywhere, which he makes fun of, so we're equal at least

Most Finnish women make fun of men wearing sandals with socks. It's considered quite tacky. I don't understand why they still do it, don't they have wives and girlfriends to tell them not to..? Heh.

[SquishyLove]

Hehehe.. i really agree about smiling thing, its bit hard to made my SO smiling! while in Asia, everyone is smiling, hahah and he think i am crazy when i did the silly goofy pictures.. but oh well its contagious.. at the end he did the same pictures hehe

About the slipper thingy, its just the same culture in Indonesia, we never use shoe inside the house, it stay outside.

And if you didn't mention there... i thought the warm milk just preference!

hehe thanks for more info about the Russian!

Of course! But my SO smiles a lot when we're together, or when we're talking on Skype, and he always tells me that I make him smile, and that in his normal routine at work or going out to do errands he's not smiling so much but has just a neutral expression. So it's good to know that I make him smile a lot!

The no shoes in the house rule I think applies to a lot of cultures around the world, and I'm not sure why it hasn't caught on in America so much! I actually put a little note on the door of the apartment after I came back from Russia to remind my guests to take off their shoes at the door. haha! I even put a little chair by the door to make it more comfortable for them.

[Malaga]

OMG best thread! Amazing read, and so interesting! Keep going people.

I'm from the Balkans and he's a Londoner. There are loads of differences in our lifestyles. I've always been a tea fan, but everybody else here is a coffee addict and they only have tea when they have a cold. When we visit people here, they always offer us coffee and I have to decline and ask for tea instead. Then a problem emerges when they have no tea in the house, or have some random herbal blend stocked for when they feel ill... the shock on his face. (And the shock on people's faces when I tell them we don't drink coffee!)

Cuisine is not so different, but table manners are. In England the host puts food on everybody's plate and serves it like in a restaurant. Here, we just put all the pots and pans on the table and everyone grabs as much as they want. Savages!

The host here also nudges you all the time to take more, no matter how much you already had, and when all the food is gone from the table, they bring out more... you always have to be chewing on something. Everyone in England chuckles at my appetite. They don't understand I'm programmed to eat whatever is in front of me, until it's gone.

I have no problem with letting my hair down at parties, even if I am an introverted weirdo. I like to eat, drink, sing, dance without worrying what others think, like so many people here, and I've noticed in England they are a lot more self-conscious, always aware of who's watching and what they might be thinking.

People here are a lot more outspoken, if we're tired, hungry, bored or whatever, we usually say so. Whereas I normally have to check up on my English friends, because they're often too polite to say anything even if they're not feeling well. Everything must be done so as you don't draw attention to yourself.

In England people seem a lot more passive aggressive... we're just directly aggressive.

Couple behaviour is quite different too. Here, if a couple go out with friends/other couples, boyfriends and girlfriends tend to sort of segregate, not strictly but they don't spend much time together. And in England I noticed people stay coupled up even when out with friends.
Displays of affection, quite over the top here, quite understated there. And so on...

[Enric]

Enric, i see what you're saying here.

I am from Sumatra Indonesia, while my SO originally from Russia but not living in Germany. Once i told him that we had so much differences; over 1800kms distances and over 1800 differences between us, and even though sometimes we had misscommunication, miss understanding, we still missing each other like crazy.

I went to Germany, and some part of Europe last two months. I could see huge difference in living, food, language, everything was different!

i thought it would be the end of the world when i still could see sun at 9pm!!! i went there in summer so its normal there (yeah you all could laugh)

I often mistaken to go to wrong side of the car as we drive on different side. Europe car are different with asian car for sure. And ohh gosh.. i love driving in Europe, even in French (where they say it hectic..they should go to Indonesia and drive there!!)

I was having breakfast with milk, raisins, banana, cornflakes, bread, toast anything but rice! lucky i was trained to travel without rice, but still its a different thing. In Indonesia you eat rice 3 times a day! when we eat spargel for lunch i thought its just "snack" instead the main course! i loose total 2.5 kgs during my visit for 18 days there.

He never see real banana tree, i had plenty on my backyard. I drink fresh coconut straight from it shell. And we had cassava that i can not find in Germany.

When i woke up in its the church bell that woke me up (in Strassburg it goes every hour??) if you went to indonesia at 5am its the mosque calling for prayer that wake you up!

There are plenty misunderstanding about my religion, including how he first thought i was catholic because i dont wear hijab to cover my head, or veils for my face, and i use "Mariana" on my name. But the nice thing is he learn about it, and respect it.. hehe went to Germany and he safe me a lot from schwein aka pork.

I was drinking fresh milk a lot too, telling him how expensive fresh milk is, and he said in Europe people drink fresh milk and in Russia people made powder milk for long winter (LoL) i dont know if its true or not... but yeah we never really drink fresh milk!

I had the chance to taste 24 different cheese, that i forgot the names... we never had those much!!

Ohhh and i love spicy food, and i get nuts when i can not find fresh chilli at the market, and when i found it and taste it its not that spicy.. lol and i use like bottle chilli from mexico to cook fried rice for him, and he said its spicy!! when i think its sweet..hahaha... (i think he wont allow me to cook again!) and when i said sauce he literally gave me tomatoes sauce.. but in Indonesia when you say sauce means chili sauce! only babies do the tomatoes!!

And top of all... i never see REAL snow in my life, and i will never forget that first time i see it, i was with him when we went to Zugspitze. I was playing in snow like crazy rolling sliding and throwing it all over until i got my nose bleed. I can't stand cold, i had to wear 4 clothes that time including wool hat, and scarf also hand glove, it was -1 still end of my fingers are bluish from cold.

While on the contrary, when the sun blaze at day time, its just around 20es degree, he was burning like crab, and become pale. I was laughing, saying he wont survive in Indonesia! we had sun every day in the whole year thats where i got the brown skin!

Ohh too much differences.... like i said over 1800 differences.. but still .. i love him because of those differences

I'm glad to see an indonesian here. My so is indonesian but we still haven't meet in real and we can't know all differences (whatever we know many already).

Are you sure the distance is just 1800km? Don't you live in Sumatra? I think the distance Sumatra-Germany is bigger. My distance with my SO (in Lombok) is 12740 km!

I think because Indonesia is near the Equator line, all nights are 12 hours long, right? We just had our 12 hours night - 12 hours day, it just happens twice per year.

I didn't know about the driving stuff in Indonesia. I knew that british people drive in the other side but just found about Indonesia. I guess this map tells it. https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikiped..._right.svg.png

lol I don't know about rice in Germany or France. I guess again they are too cold for rice. Spain or Portugal have some dishes with rice but it's kinda eat rice once per month no three times per day. XD

For what I know banana trees can't live in Europe at all. I think that Canary islands (they belong to Spain but in Africa) are the closest part with these trees.

I think the bell part isn't very normal. I think they usually don't sound so much.

My SO is also muslim, without veil and with a christian/european last name. I've meet many indonesians from Java before and I don't understand why some indonesian muslims have given names and lastnames like Stephany, Amanda, Martha or Rossalina. Hah Our main problems in it is that I love pork xD and.. Don't Islam say that muslim women can't be with no-muslim men? How do you keep it?

Cheese isn't very common in Indonesia, right? My SO doesn't see that exotic but she never eats that. :S What about breads? Did you notice the difference in breads when you saw your SO? My SO told me that they just have english bread there, and no baguettes or others.

Well I live in a very sunny area and we're 38ºC every summer and we have very few rain. So in my case is different. I think my SO is normally in 20-30ºC all year, and with rain more often. But in general, I think in Indonesia the temperature doesn't change much, right? Kinda the same all year?

I guess the spicy asian food is difficult to eat for an european if he isn't used to.

The differences are cool.

[bluishskin]

and.. Don't Islam say that muslim women can't be with no-muslim men? How do you keep it?

Yes that's correct. According to the Islamic rule it is not permissible for a Muslim woman to be with a non-Muslim man. But then again, it depends on the individual.

Alrighty! I'm Indonesian and my SO is Persian. Haven't been to Iran but I'm so looking forward to visiting him there, and I can guess I will see a lot of different things as soon as I get there.
My SO has visited me three times and here are some of the cultural differences that I've noticed:

- All houses in Iran have their floors covered by gigantic rugs, but it's not like that in Indonesia. A lot of houses in my country have rugs, including mine. But I only use those small to medium size rugs which only cover some areas of the floor so we obviously still walk on the tiles.

- Persian wedding celebration is a very festive event where most of the people, including the newlywed couple and guests, dance along the music. The first time my SO visited me I took him to my cousin's wedding and he was so surprised because it was a very quiet one compared to a Persian wedding, which was something normal for Indonesians. Normally (at least in where I come from) the guests just attend the wedding, congratulate the newlywed couple and eat. At first I didn't understand what he meant by "quiet wedding", but when he finally showed me a wedding video of his brother, I immediately understood. I was watching the whole video with pretty much a puzzled look and I kept asking myself: "How on earth can those people dance (both traditional and free-style dance) continuously?"

- Persians use rose water for cooking. In Indonesia rose water is known to be used as face toner.

- Indonesians drive on the right side of the car, Persians do it the opposite way. He opened the door of the taxi driver instead of the other one across. That happened twice! XD

- We have avocado juice in Indonesia, but not in Iran. It's become one of his favourite beverages. He told me that there is carrot ice cream in Iran. I was like "Wow I wanna try that!"

That's all I can think for now. Pretty exciting hey?