The Despair Thread

[Snap]

I just miss him. The last 2 visits were only 1 day long. All I want right now is a hug from him and him telling me that everything will be okay.

[msskunk]

I asked my bf last night, if he can spend more time to write emails to me. But he didn't answer yet, and it kinda make me worried if I did a mistake

[efish1042]

I get the end-of-discussion-blues a lot. It bothers him because it makes him feel guilty, but I've gotten better about it. I tend to talk to him right before bed or while I'm doing work so I go straight to sleep or continue doing work. Schoolwork is my lifesaver, honestly.

[Dorkichi]

Just the thread I was looking for....
I've been feeling awfully strange lately, and I don't get it, I think it's the distance, infact I believe it's the distance.
sometimes I feel that if I say I miss him enough, somehow the distance would be no more, but sadly it doesn't work that way. :|
Recently the past couple weeks my moods and emotions have been acting up, and thoughts I had when I was little have been revisting my brain.
I have brought this up to him just today, and he didn't say anything at all, he just ended up saying he had to go to sleep.
I understand he is 3 hours ahead, and that he has school in the morning, but I was hoping he would have atleast tried to say something to comfort me, because he usaully does. This led me to break down, and to beg someone or something to take the pain away, or make the distance no more. Meeeh :\

[dannie0706]

I am currently feeling this way right now. We have not talked much over the weekend or this week. I talked to him a few minutes tonight and then he said he was getting off of the phone to sign for his pizza. He works midnights and he said he would call me right back. I am already feeling a bit neglected and he still has not called back. I was up late doing homework so I thought this would be the perfect time for us to spend some time together. I could keep him up while I was doing homework. I am feeling like I want to cry because things have not been the same in the last five days. Of course I am trying not to have negative thoughts in my head, but it is hard. I did not realize how hard this was going to be and I also realized that part of why I am feeling this way is because I am falling for him and those feelings are overwhelming right now.

[FadedSunrise]

I feel like we're drifting apart. I feel like the time is making me see all our practical differences-he's 26 and working on starting his first business, I'm 21 and working on graduate schools and fellowships. He doesn't speak my dominant language and at this rate is not going to learn it any day soon given how many hours he puts into making money even for just one visit. I might be ok with Chinese but I feel like it lacks the deepness and specificity of meaning, something that might be kind of crucial in a relationship.

We grew up in totally different worlds. We have the same beliefs, basically, on a soul level, about how the world should work and what we should focus on-things like kindness, being filial to family, environmentalism, and healthy living, but beyond that no...

My scholarship apps are not going well. My gut feeling is just dissatisfied with the essays in a way I can't describe. As someone who writes instinctively and has been right about paper quality most of the time, this bodes badly. If I get no scholarships I don't see him. I made a mental line in the sand that if scholarships fail this relationship is not going to be worth trying anymore. I just can't do that to him when my mind is not all in for the relationship(how can I be when I'm so preoccupied with my career) and he knows he wants to start a family sometime in his early 30's (coming so ridiculously soon).

[LotusWing]

I'm not happy at the moment. I feel very upset and frustrated because my entire life no one has ever thought so far and so bad about me.
His father doesn't like me because I'm Vietnamese (and he's Chinese). I did nothing wrong... he hates me because of the old war (Vietnam vs China)?? I don't know why!
His mother who never cares about her kids, but now she is worried about our future and our kids? She doesn't want him to be burdened with defective kids. Guess why she think like that... because I'm short!! Yes because I'm short!! WHAT THE...!!?!?!?!?!?
My entire life, people make fun of my height but never in my life people said my shortness is drawfism or mental ******ation.
Does that mean all short people are abnormal and will get defective kids? Normal people can get defective kids too, it all depends on people not on the height!!
I'm very very angry at the moment. I'm still at work, but you know what? I'm crying while working.
Even when my SO doesn't care about what they said, and told me that I'm perfect. How can I feel happy when his own parents said those kind of things? It hurts... I'm very hurt...

[snow_girl]

I feel like we are butting heads on everything right now, he seems to have very set ways and it seems hard for him to be willing to make any sort of compromise.

[MadMolly]

I'm calling him in an hour and I'm terrified. This might be a break up call. I am so sick to my stomach with dread I can hardly breathe but I need a firm "yes" or "no" from him. I suspect there is more than just busy-ness keeping him from being attentive and affectionate like he used to.

I can't believe how everything could go so pear-shaped so quickly when it was so damn perfect LAST MONTH when we were with eachother. Holy shit, this sucks. I feel so ashamed for being so gung-ho about moving there (my life situation is perfect, so we both agreed to do it ASAP) and how I told everyone and now I am probably going to be like "no, that's not happening anymore, he lost interest..." Arghhh. The shame of it all. This is horrible.

[Zephii]

*Hugs Molly* I hope he's just been busy or something And that this blows over!

[MadMolly]

He has been really busy and he's really depressed... but I don't know if he's avoiding me because he can't deal with me right now (understandable, and something I can cope with until he feels up to it), or because he's too afraid to tell me he's having doubts. I suspect it's the latter.

[Haley53]

He has been really busy and he's really depressed... but I don't know if he's avoiding me because he can't deal with me right now (understandable, and something I can cope with until he feels up to it), or because he's too afraid to tell me he's having doubts. I suspect it's the latter.

However, consider my partner. Though the situations might be different, he's been undergoing a lot. Doesn't mean he doesn't love me or care for me, his decision to end it, simply means it's not something he can commit to or maintain or deal with at this point in time. Though I don't want to say that's entirely what it is for you, because I do believe that on some level, we do know what the issue really is/could be, but is it possible that he's simply emotionally incapable at the moment? And that things in his life need to settle down and he needs to find his footing before he can go back to properly maintaining a relationship?

[MadMolly]

I thought of you and your situation a lot today Eclaire, and I desperately hope it's something like that because I can be there for him when he needs me if it is. I just have this feeling he's realised it was all about the thrill of the chase though and that kills me. About to call him now...

[Haley53]

-hug- Let us know? I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

[loveknowsnodistance27]

Lately, I've found myself feeling upset and even angry for no reason when I am going to bed. I don't know if it's a side effect from my birth control or my depression acting up. But, it just sucks. I want to feel happy again. I hate going to bed mad over nothing ir trying not to cry.