The Despair Thread

[Tobby]

Yesterday after Track practice i check my facebook to find one new message from one of my "friends" from Bicol, where my SO lives. it just said this "hey, I'm with Nika now! she left you for me hahaha" i wasn't sure how to make of it at first. . i was angry, panicked, in shock and disbelief of what i just read and i couldn't make sense of any of it. In my head though i knew it wasn't true she's just an extremely honest and committed person to me. but 4 hours later i get a new message from him saying he was only joking. I was RELIEVED, i wanted to tell him not to do that again because Facebook is the only way I can talk to my SO, and that if he puts those kinds of thoughts in my heads i go negative. anyways i'm just glad he was joking.

[Minerva]

*hugs* to Zephii and the rest.

Yesterday I spent half my morning crying because... I can't even remember why. I don't sleep much, and it wears on me, and sometimes it comes out in an emotional storm. Fun fun fun.

[rusty15]

LDR's suck

I'm sorry I hope you feel better. I'm feeling like shit too.

[DemonxOisin]

I LOVE this thread idea! Kudos to you, OP!

My SO has been just incredibly busy today. Sometimes it hurts me so much that we barely have time to say good morning any more, but I have to keep telling myself that things will change soon, he just moved to a new city, give him time... But like tonight, we haven´t talked all day and I´m really bummed -.-

[ClipitsWings]

we all have our moments, you seem to handle yourself a lot better than i could

couple weeks ago i wanted a longitude/latitude ring (like just an engraved metal slab; not really girly at all), mostly cause i want SOMETHING physical to hold on to, and he hasnt sent his box yet. ring was out of stock as an individual sale, but they had matching pairs. He told me to just buy the double set. i would have, i was just saying i didnt know what to do with the second one. kind of mentioned the idea of him having the other one, not that i expected him to want it. he was like "meh." I don't know, i got really upset and i felt extremely stupid, i still do, honestly. i apologized all over the place. he tried to reassure me that it wasnt a stupid idea, just that i could send it after the next box im planning..... And im just gonna go ahead and never touch the subject again.

[DemonxOisin]

Yeah, I went through almost the exact same thing with my SO a while ago... I would rather have a definite yes or no, I hate when he doesn´t care enough to give an opinion.

[milaya]

My SO and I haven't talked for over a week... only e-mails.
Because stupid arguments and busy schedules have kept us from hearing each others' voices. It makes me miss him even more. Even our upcoming visit seems ages away.

[Anolinde]

Watching The Time Traveler's Wife right now.......yeah severely depressed now Why do I do this to myself. I think lately I've been so numb I look for any reason at all to cry and miss him. Been planning his visit here next summer for a few weeks now and I keep thinking about our last visit and how amazing it felt to finally be together in person and how amazing it'll feel again and now I'm sad because I know I'll have to say goodbye to him again, no use worrying about it now when it's so long till I see him but that's me....really stupid

[Zephii]

*Big hugs for everyone*

I just spent over an hour recording a chapter of the book I'm reading to him with audacity, so he has something to listen to and keep the sadness at bay while I'm not able to be online over the weekend... but my internet connection is so bad I can't get it to attach to an email without dropping out and failing. *sigh*

[nicole]

My SO has requested his tax returns from the IRS twice now, and still nothing if he can't get them we are royally screwed with this visa process. Please let him get them today. PLEASE! I can't stand this anymore.

[MadMolly]

I know I am "supposed" to feel this way (I chose to go along this path) but I am terrified of meeting him, it being perfect, and then going back to being long distance again. and this time it is SEVERELY long distance. Once I meet him, I will be so fucking in love it's going to kill me to leave... and I have no idea if I really want to/should move there, because that is the only option if I want this to work. urghhhhhhhhh.

[ioanna]

but my internet connection is so bad I can't get it to attach to an email without dropping out and failing. *sigh*

Zephii, when your connection isn't good enough, you can zip the original file and send it in increments. you decide of the size of each part made, he will need to receive all parts and put them in a same folder for it to open, but it works. i send large files this way (100 MB in increments of 10).
i'm not on my computer right now to guide you through it, but there must be a How To somewhere online

hope this helps!

[adielovesshelbs]

ive got a lot to let out so i'm sorry but this is going to be a lot. things have changed so much from what they used to be with so. we have been going through so many rough patches, when they are over, he feels fine but its like i keep going back to them because i feel like everything is hopeless. i have been super stressed lately (i work 6-7 days a week and im in college), its probaly just me not getting over it like i should. i always think of the bad things, i dont know why. i used to be the positive one all the time and now its like im such a downer. when i talk to him, its great and everything is fine but when he is gone and i can't talk to him this is when all the feelings come out.

i feel like i need constant reassurance now about everything. i feel like im putting a wedge between us because of this but i dont know what to do to get over it. i feel like he just doesnt care about us anymore because he stopped doing the things he used. when i told him about this, he started changing things but i still feel like he doesnt really care. ahh. i dont know what to do. all of this is probaly me and i feel so lost at the moment... im sorry guys, any advice please?

[Silvaria]

I'm so glad I found this site, and this thread...this happened to me just the other night. We just got done having a great, 3.5 hour chat on Skype via webcam, while we were gaming together. At the end he said he loved me, I said I loved him, and we hung up...and I immediately started crying. I had no idea why, it was not typical for me...but I miss being with him so desperately, and money is the only thing keeping us apart. Neither of us have any particular ties to where we live...we simply don't have the money to move.

[Sierra]

My boyfriend just left after a wonderful weekend. It's getting harder and harder to leave him and the amount I miss him seems unreal. I can still smell him in my apartment and to be honest, we didn't have that much sex this weekend and that's gotten me down and worried too.

I love this man with my heart and soul, he is my heart and soul and it's hard to be without him. These first two days after he's left I can't stand the fact that he's gone.