The Despair Thread

[Sierra]

I don't think my boyfriend and I are going to make it through this. I'm giving this my all and I feel like I'm getting very little in return. I don't know what to do anymore.

[Kerry]

my bf keeps getting sick. just when he thinks he's good something else happens. and the care he gets is substandard thanks to his HMO.sometimes I wonder if this is what it's always going to be like when we're married. I just want him to feel good again.

[Miramaid]

I am afraid of the future with us. I do not know how men are and how women are either (coz I am a wierd kind), but I sometimes can't help but wonder if he sees me as a woman he will marry eventually. We talked about it several times and he says he can see our future together and that it is very much possible that we will end up marrying each other and having a family, but i wonder how much he really means it and what exactly does he feel inside? Because it seems I am the only one scared of what is going to happen to us after many many years of long distance and if we will ever make it through

[kittyo9]

Today I feel hopeless. It's happening again. We planned and planned and planned and it all fell though. I feel like I will never see him. I feel like we are being punished.

[rivi87]

perfect place to vent...with my SO deployed..it makes communication so hard. If he's gone we don't talk for days and when he is back I usually talk to him maybe once a day and most of the time its short . I know he is super busy and is doing the best he can does his best but still frustrates me...

[Sunbeam]

I'm so scared he won't get his visa. Then what?

[Silvaria]

Wow, this is the thread for me right now.

We were supposed to hang out and chat on AIM tonight, and possibly Skype...we were texting via AIM while I went to the grocery store earlier, and then he lost his Net connection and that was 4 hours ago and I haven't heard from him since (he doesn't have a cell phone).

I guess I'm PMSing, but this is REALLY getting to me. He works in a warehouse so he's exhausted a lot, and spends much of his free time sleeping. Tonight he was off work and not so worn out, so we were supposed to hang out. I was excited as hell earlier, looking forward to this evening SOOOO much.

So of COURSE, his #@(*&% connection goes out.

Now I'm sitting here feeling lonely and angry and dejected. It's been two years since we've seen each other, and right now who knows how long it's going to be before I see him again. We're both broke all the time.

I'm tired of sleeping alone in a cold bed. I'm tired of not being able to hold him. I'm tired of being completely reliant on an Internet connection for our contact. I'm tired of him working so much that all he does is sleep. I'm pissed off and miserable and just TIRED OF IT ALL.

/rant

[jiynx]

My MOD:

I haven't talked on the phone with my SO for about 2 weeks. I'm going mad!! My phone got cut off because I'm poor, and I just miss him so much. I'm tweaking out because girls are commenting on his stuff on facebook now... I'm so paranoid that these are girls he's seeing behind my back. I love him more than words can describe. And I know the feelings are retaliated. I'm just so scared that he's given up and/or he thinks I'm not trying anymore. This sucks.

[raiblade3]

Hang in there!

[Sora1101]

I hardly get to talk to my SO at all now and it's really taking it's toll, I'm still recovering from post visit blues and he's no where around to make me feel better.

He wakes up while I'm in school so I can't really text and as soon as I get out of school he goes to work and doesn't get off until 10-11pm my time and then when he finally gets home you'd think we'd be able to talk. Wrong. He decides he wants to use his couple hours before bed playing video games with his friends and not talking to me so I'm just getting so fed up with it I go to bed, then he calls me to say goodnight at like 2am like always, finally some time for us, nope wrong again all he talks about is the video game then he hangs up and passes out leaving me upset and lonely. Ugh. I just want to talk to him..

[dummy56]

My MOD:

I drove my SO to lie to me. I am incredibly depressed and paranoid whenever I don't see her and she is fine when she doesn't see me and she has become indifferent. She lies to me when she leaves so she can go talk to other people and she doesn't write back to me when I send her emails. People tell me it's over, but I can't let go.

[milaya]

I just feel like crying all the time, because I miss him so much.

[Madge]

MOD:

I really hate that our communication is dependent on the internet to be working GARGH it frustrates me that whenever I talk to him on skype or facetime the screen is either fuzzy or I can't hear him OR it freezes on his face OR it just cuts out on him. I think it is every 10 calls we actually have a ok connection..like today was great!

Seriously, when we close the distance I want to throw a "thank goodness we don't need to use skype ever again" party

Although I bet you Murphy's Law will bite me in the bum if we actually did do this

[Sunnyside193]

We dont even talk anymore. Sure we have broken up so we dont have too but after we broke up we did and they were started by both him and me. Sure if I start talking to him he talks back. But why it annoys me is because he told me when we broke up that it's not like he was dissapearing or that anything would change. So where are you then? Did you even mean it when you said it? Because if you didnt you were already breaking up with me why add lying on top of that

[HS-loves-RT]

My MOD:

I've had a really bad day with work and a lot of other crap going on, and tomorrow is Monday. This really sucks because my girl goes to an early college high school so she has a crazy schedule during the week. We still text and stuff, but it's not as nice as the weekend. I love her so much that I would spend every minute talking to her if I could. And we're both still in school so finding time to close the distance depends on our breaks and such. Oh well, she's worth the distance. <33