Excuses you would accept

[yayagrl]

I know sometimes people have good excuses for certain things like missing phone calls (phone was dead) missing skype calls (internet went out) things of that nature, but what about excuses for doing something wrong that actually hurt you? Is there an excuse you would or wouldn't accept?

For example, I found out about almost 3 months ago that sometime in late June my SO had a very sexually charged and inappropriate conversation with a girl over Facebook. After balling my eyes out about it and venting to a friend I confronted him and well the first phone call consisted of me accusing him and yelling at him then he hung up and I calmed down then called him back and talked to him about it in a mature way. He explained to me that he was drunk that night and apologized and all that and I forgave him, but I still don't completely trust him yet. Of course that takes time and certain days I don't know if I should continue this relationship with him, but it's always a fleeting thought. (I know some of you've read the story before so sorry to mention it again, but needed the example)

[yayagrl]

I forgot to mention that it could be an excuse for any situation that may arise between you and your SO

[NaNi]

My SO and I had a huge fight back in March/April. She told me "I hope I'm not falling out of love with you." That hurt like hell. It still does. She told me that she was stressed with uni work and everything else, but I guess I was never really able to forgive her for that. It hurt too much. I will always remember how she made me feel that day - absolutely miserable. I was a mess. She said she had a mini breakdown, but I would never say such a thing just because I'm stressed. She gets annoyed with me when I think about that time again and start crying. She wants to move on and forget about it. Well, to be honest, I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to move on from that. Especially since I still get really angry at her from time to time when I remember what she put me through back then. She really broke me that day.

[BoogleBee]

She wants to move on and forget about it.

I don't expect you to forget it.

I do want us to move forward though. If that is even possible.

[Laura_N]

Months a go, at the beginning of our relationship my SO questioned me a couple of times for having someone else over the Internet or having feelings for someone else. It hurt me because they were completely false accusations, the other one had to do with a game we both play and the other one was about my male friend. She apologized me, actually she even tried to end things between us before they really even started, saying I'll get hurt with her... Luckily, we are now very much past this kind of conversations, and the trust issues won't rise in to the surface that much anymore. The reason for them was the scars and trust issues that her ex left her, so in my opinion it's an understandable reason.

[Haley53]

I think one of the only excuses I would accept are excuses that follow along the lines of "I didn't mean it that way" or "that came out wrong" or "I should have worded it like..." because I think the only times I've been hurt, really, have been if/when we've argued. And where I tend to be very in control of the crafting and manipulation of my words, I feel like my SO is a little less concentrated and says things a little bit more impulsively (not saying I can never get impulsive). There's also the fact that, being upset, I may misinterpret something as meaning something it doesn't, based off my emotional state, so I will take "I didn't mean it that way/the way it came across" as an "excuse," so to speak, so long as it's followed by a clarification.

Beyond that, I'm not big on excuses and I don't take the "I was drunk" one for anything.

[lucybelle]

Well the situations brought up here are pretty serious.

But for things like missing phone calls or being late, etc. I would accept just about any excuse. As long as it wasn't something that kept happening.

[snow_girl]

I don't find that my SO doesn't usually have to make excuses, he is pretty good at keeping dates and things like that so on the off chance something comes up I don't really think of it as an excuse cause he isn't using it to get out of getting in trouble or whatever.

We were out drinking once, twice and he has gotten these black outs of sorts and after asking him what was wrong he walked off and left me with his friends in town and no one knew where he went so I went home pissed off. When he got home we had a bit of a fight and he couldn't remember what happened (which I know is true) but instead of using it as an excuse he owned up to it and we agreed that we should find other else to do so it didn't happen again.

[floridaellen]

My SO is always working (2 jobs) so I accept the "I'm tired" excuse a lot. I feel bad for him. He works in the restaurant business so he is constantly on his feet.
He accepts the "I have homework!" one from me a lot as well so it's a two way street.

[kiara_silver]

Like floridaellen, I to would accept the "im tired" excuse. My SO is going to collegee early in the morning to mid day then woks 4 side Jobs. And on top of that right now he's sick. Idk how he finds time to talk to me. My SO doesn't really make excuse, he straight uo just tells me, if he's going out so he'll talk later, or if he's tired. I don't think theres anything I wouldn't accept from him?

[rusty15]

I'm sorry that happened, I've been through similar things. Sometimes when in an LDR guys sometimes freak out and get lonely and do stupid stuff because they aren't thinking straight. Sometimes the commitment freaks them out and they just want you there and they do stupid shit because guys are dumb. It's not an excuse, (i know this happened a while ago) but you need to make sure he knows what he did was wrong, and that he loves you and wants to be with you. If it happens again....than it's time to end it.

[Sierra]

I agree that the issues here are pretty serious that you guys are talking about and I'm not sure what excuses I would accept in those situations. However, if my boyfriend were to miss a call, forget to text me or whatever, I accept 'I'm sorry' I don't really need excuses.

[Rosebud]

While I can't think of any specific situations right now, going off what was discussed I would certainly not accept the whole, 'I'm sorry, I was drunk excuse'. At all. I really am not a big fan of drinking and my boyfriend knows this. Thankfully he's not a huge drinker anyway but when he does want to go and have a little fun he tells me beforehand and fortunately for me he's pretty tame even with a few drinks in him. But I know if he were to start an argument with me or treat me inappropriately just because he was drunk then there would be a LONG discussion about it. There's a reason I think getting drunk is stupid and that would only cement my views on it and it's a stupid reason to hurt a relationship.

[yayagrl]

Like floridaellen, I to would accept the "im tired" excuse. My SO is going to collegee early in the morning to mid day then woks 4 side Jobs. And on top of that right now he's sick. Idk how he finds time to talk to me. My SO doesn't really make excuse, he straight uo just tells me, if he's going out so he'll talk later, or if he's tired. I don't think theres anything I wouldn't accept from him?

Whoa man!!! 4 jobs??!! How does he find time for sleep. I commend your guy for being a student and having 4 jobs. that is awesomely amazing, plus having enough time to talk to you. Wow

[yayagrl]

While I can't think of any specific situations right now, going off what was discussed I would certainly not accept the whole, 'I'm sorry, I was drunk excuse'. At all. I really am not a big fan of drinking and my boyfriend knows this. Thankfully he's not a huge drinker anyway but when he does want to go and have a little fun he tells me beforehand and fortunately for me he's pretty tame even with a few drinks in him. But I know if he were to start an argument with me or treat me inappropriately just because he was drunk then there would be a LONG discussion about it. There's a reason I think getting drunk is stupid and that would only cement my views on it and it's a stupid reason to hurt a relationship.

I'm with you on that. Drinking is pretty dumb and the things that people do while they're intoxicated are even worse. I think I more accepted his apology than the excuse. The remorse in his voice was enough for me. Plus about a week or so ago he brought it up again saying he wasn't sure if I really understood how sorry he was and if he really apologized well enough. He said he realized how much it hurt me and that it was really stupid of him to do. So that really cemented it for me, but of course the whole having little trust thing is still there

---------- Post added at 10:03 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:00 PM ----------

I'm sorry that happened, I've been through similar things. Sometimes when in an LDR guys sometimes freak out and get lonely and do stupid stuff because they aren't thinking straight. Sometimes the commitment freaks them out and they just want you there and they do stupid shit because guys are dumb. It's not an excuse, (i know this happened a while ago) but you need to make sure he knows what he did was wrong, and that he loves you and wants to be with you. If it happens again....than it's time to end it.

He knows and has apologized. He's a sweetheart. I'm hoping to bring it up tonight to see if I can't get a better reason that would be more acceptable than "I was drunk". I know from experience that him intoxicated is a whole different person from him sober so in a way i could see that, but I need something more because it's been bugging me a lot lately and I never really got a chance to talk to him about it outside of that confrontation