Relationship Strengths and Weaknesses

[lucybelle]

I think that self-evaluation is extremely important in our maturation and growth. So what is one strength and one weakness relationship wise? And one of each for you SO?

ME:
+: I am very easy going
-: I don't feel comfortable or know how to comfort when my SO is angry, upset or sad.

SO:
+: Extremely caring
-: Scared of commitment (he's been working on that though!!)

How about you and your SO?

[Sharon Q]

Me :

+ : I'm more relaxed than what I used to be. I don't get near as over emotional.

- : I still have problems with insecurities even tho my SO has made it clear he wants to stay with me.


SO :

+ : He's able to connect with me emotionally better now than how it was in the past.

- : He views other relationships, takes the problems form them and fears I may do the same.
Like my friend who cheated on her SO
and my other friend who would not give her SO even on minute of space and blew up his phone constantly.

We are trying to work on that, I just have to explain that I wont act the same way, and show him that.

[ioanna]

very nice topic

ME:
+: i am very caring, and i put alot of effort into things that matter to me.
-: I have insecurities that reflected negatively on our relationship, but in the past few years i've made a lot of progress (being LD has been a major healing process, go figure ).

SO:
+: Extremely generous, loves with his whole being
-: very rational, its sometimes seems like he's cold.. but we've figured a translation system

[milaya]

ME:
+: I can always make him laugh and stop being angry or sad if I want to. (I'm good at words XD)
-: I'm too stubborn. I'll never admit I was wrong and unfortunately I can keep a fight/discussion going in order to protect my pride.

SO:
+: He's the nicest and most loving person I've ever met.
-: He's what Japanese call "my-pace". If he has gotten an idea into his head, he'll follow that and then he can suddenly forget other things around him. It also means in general that he decides his own pace and then he is very care-free (should be positive, but sometimes it really bugs me.)

[iloveacarpenter]

What a great thread! Super important in every realtionship.
Me:
+: Very supportive and caring

SO:
+: Hardworking and willing

We both definitely share the same main weakness and that would be that we are both extremely stubborn. It causes arguments to become worse than necessary, and we both are really working on humbling ourselves and understanding and accepting the other's point of view.

[floridaellen]

Me
+ I'm very affective and supportive of my SO.
- I sometimes get bossy, kinda mom-like. I think it's my maternal instinct.

SO
+ He's also very affectionate and very good at making me laugh.
- He's very jealous :/

[Haley53]

ME:
+: I'm extremely communicative
-: I'm also incredibly emotional and occasionally have poor impulse control, which as you can imagine, causes problems :P

SO:
+: He's able to talk things out calmly and collectively and can, for the most part, reign me and my emotions in :P If I lose sight of my behaviour, too, for example, if my voice is raised inappropriately, he'll calmly assert himself and essentially present me with the option to either talk or talk later
-: Occasionally he'll clump me in with people from his past, as in he'll interpret something I've done differently than it was meant based on what others have said or done

He agrees with me on these things. :P

[Sierra]

Me:

Strength: Great at communication; thoughtful.
Weakness: Getting insecure because of the distance.

Him:

Strength: Making me feel secure, wanted and loved.
Weakness: Not knowing when I need him the most. <-- I think this is because of the distance, I know if he saw me upset he'd be there holding me in his arms and making me feel better without a doubt.

[kiara_silver]

ME:
+: I think im open. Im willing to try knew things, or be accepting of things.
-: Im a bit emotional? Or self concious? Its not that I look down on myself, i just have some insecurities.

SO:
+: Gosh 1 positive only? He is so loving, like now he is so busy with college and 3-4 jobs, been waking up at 5am twice this past week and gets up and goes. And on top of that he's been sick, but yet every morning he writes me before he goes. And has been there to talk to me and let me know he loves me.He's always been loving and affectionate since we been together. Im such a lucky a girl.
-: He doesn't take care of himself properly!! like when he was here he wouldnt take the medicine. And now he's skipping meals and not resting enough and just he has poor pampering skills when it comes to himself.

[kteire]

Me:
+ I like to entertain him, and it keeps both of us laughing a lot
- I worry a LOT. Every time he goes on a car trip, I worry that he'll have an accident. Every time he's sleepy and less talkative, I worry he's losing interest. I've been worrying about making friends when I move to the UK for months now, and I'm sure he's getting tired of constantly providing reassurance.

Him:
+ He understands me ridiculously well. If we're iming on skype, and I'm trying to hide that I'm sad or grumpy, he can always tell within a sentence or two and ask "Are you ok??"
- He has a very hard time opening up to me. He's improved a lot in that sense, but sometimes I'll find something out (like that he severely injured his knee mid-august, found that out yesterday!!), and say "When did that happen?" and he'll say "I dunno, a few weeks ago" (and I think this partly has to do with my tendency to over-worry about him!!)

[Minerva]

Me:
+ I'm loyal and affectionate
- I'm over emotional and sometimes overbearing

Him:
+ he's a wonderful combination of passion and logic -- the best of both worlds!
- he doesn't give himself any credit for what a good man he is

[WakeUpSusie]

Me
+: I am extremely loyal and loving toward everyone who is important to me, but especially to him. I am also very goal oriented and have diverse interests and talents.
-: I tend to blow small issues way out of proportion and start petty fights. I grew up with a very abusive father, so fighting and unhappiness was the norm in my house... it's taking a lot of getting used to being in a happy, healthy home.

Him
+: He is extremely intelligent and successful in school and work. He is also very loving and patient with me and young children.
-: He can be VERY lazy at times, and can also be very reclusive. It takes a lot to convince him to go out with my friends, although he gets along excellently with them.

[LeilaniJoi]

Great topic

Me:
+ I'm very supportive and love with everything I have
- I have self image and insecurity issues that I'm working through, these are getting better tho (thankfully) and I tend to be a bit high strung

Him:
+ He's very loving but in a quiet way. He's steady and very laid back, almost too much so sometimes but it balances out my high strung moods
- He can be a bit lazy (but so can I at times) and he isn't good about talking through things, but he does listen and take to heart what I say when those times come up.

[HollzHeartsChris]

Brilliant thread

Me:
+ I'm very loving and I'm always there for my SO when he needs me. I also am generally a happy go lucky person, and I enjoy having fun
- I'm very insecure and self-conscious, and I've lately developed a bad habit for over-apologising. I'm not very self-confident either, and I have a hard time believing in and motivating myself.

Him:
+ He's very intelligent, passionate, loving and one of the gentlest people I've ever known. He completes me in the most amazing ways possible.
- He's always tense, on the guard, stressed out and can get quite defensive. He also gets upset easy and is sentimental, and isn't very confident in himself either. He's also stubborn.

[Laura_N]

Me:
+ I'm a kind and patient person, and there when she needs me. I very rarely get angry.
- I don't always speak my mind because I want to avoid arguments and upsetting others as much as I can, so if there is something bothering me in our relationship, I can keep it inside me for ages.

Her:
+ She is usually patient with me and has always accepted me as who I am, and helped me overcome some of my insecurities.
- She has trust issues as well as very little time for me, so they are straining our relationship.