"i need a break"...

[archangel]

I don't think breaks work. First off, when I think "break" I'm thinking a week or more and zero communication. If he needs a day or two to gather his thoughts and have alone time, then that's okay.

Breaks don't work because after a break you two will come together and have the same problems (and even more since you will be hurt because he needed a break from you). You can't work together on your problems without communication. In a good relationship couples will work through their issues together in a mature fashion.

Think of it this way... when you are finally together and have closed the distance, are you going to be able to take a break from each other? That will be impossible. You can't "shut off" the other person like you can in a long distance relationship. If you can learn to work together now before closing the distance you'll be prepared for your future together. Learning to handle relationship problems in ways that are not possible while in a non-distance relationship does not help you grow as a couple and does not set you up for success.

It's better to fight it out and come to a reasonable compromise or solution to your problem then to not talk about it all.

If he really desperately thinks he needs a break from you, then maybe he is actually wanting to break up and is too afraid to say it.

To me, asking for a "break" is really just someone's way of easing into a break UP. As others have said, simply spending time apart doesn't repair the issues that are going wrong in the relationship. Either way, though, clinging to the relationship is not going to help. If he wants space, give it to him. It's going to hurt, but it sounds as if you're already going nuts, so what alternative do you really have?

I agree with both of you and sadly as many of you know my previous LDR ended with a 33 day break. So I can also speak of experience.... you really don't want to go there. Give each other space and try talking about the issues between you two. If you can solve them, then you won't have to go on a break. GL

[JEREIANEDREI]

thanks guys...it hurts really,.but i know LOVE will keep us together...come what may

I reaspect and do appreciate all your opinions,.thank you so much...

[Jgui]

i agree with Michelle, i personally don't believe in breaks because it's just a softer way of breaking up. It's much more effective to talk about why he feels like he wants a break? Does he feel like there is something wrong with the relationship? Ask him for reasons of wanting to go on a break. When 2 people is in a relationship communication is very important, if there are problems to begin with and he feels like going on a break will make things better, then he is wrong.

If he feels that you're being too clingy and just needs a breath of fresh air, give him his space for few days and reconnect with him,

Good luck

[JEREIANEDREI]

i agree with Michelle, i personally don't believe in breaks because it's just a softer way of breaking up. It's much more effective to talk about why he feels like he wants a break? Does he feel like there is something wrong with the relationship? Ask him for reasons of wanting to go on a break. When 2 people is in a relationship communication is very important, if there are problems to begin with and he feels like going on a break will make things better, then he is wrong.

If he feels that you're being too clingy and just needs a breath of fresh air, give him his space for few days and reconnect with him,

Good luck

thank you,.you make me feel way better for what you've said...

thanks my LFAD community buddies