Pretty new to this.

[Minerva]

Once a week is hard if you're never been in an LDR before. I can sympathize. But I do agree (and I'm sorry for this) that since most people here can't see their SO's nearly as often, so you're going to have a lot of people wondering what you're upset about. You have a right to your feelings -- after all, you can't help how you feel. But... yeah, most of us can only see our SOs every few months, once a year, or not at all. Don't get me wrong, everyone here is wonderfully supportive, but if you've never met your SO, it's hard to understand how someone can be upset over "only" seeing their SO once a week.

Heh. If it helps, browse the "countdown" thread to see the wait times many of us have between visits. Some are in the triple digits!

All I can say is find an engrossing hobby. Don't make your life all about him. Even CD couples sometimes don't see each other as often as you do -- a little space can be healthy. This is a new relationship, so of course you want to be with him 24/7, but since you can't, use the time to build up yourself.

Best of luck, and welcome to LFAD.

[Madge]

How do you keep a relationship alive that far away? How did you meet?

My SO and I first met in the states then I went home to NZ while he completed a year of his degree in the US..9 months later I returned to the US and we got together then However after 4 and half months of seeing eachother every 2-3 weeks then the last month spent toegether (we traveled all over the US then he came home with me for a couple of weeks) Nick went back to the UK to finish his degree while I decided to start my degree

I swear I am going to write my "story" if people want to see soon

Anyway, Now he is in Chicago and I am in NZ and we are getting married end of next year and I will be moving to the states as well..much excite!

We have kept our relationship alive by talking with each other. He is my best friend and I his We have something special and we want this to work.

Honestly you need to do something to take your mind of it! Just think he leaves sunday or whenever but comes back on the friday! thats pretty much 4 days without him..why don't you start planning special things to do with your weekends with your SO? That will take your mind off the days and give the both of you something to look forward to

Welcome to the forums btw

---------- Post added at 10:14 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:11 AM ----------

Once a week is hard if you're never been in an LDR before. I can sympathize. But I do agree (and I'm sorry for this) that since most people here can't see their SO's nearly as often, so you're going to have a lot of people wondering what you're upset about. You have a right to your feelings -- after all, you can't help how you feel. But... yeah, most of us can only see our SOs every few months, once a year, or not at all. Don't get me wrong, everyone here is wonderfully supportive, but if you've never met your SO, it's hard to understand how someone can be upset over "only" seeing their SO once a week.

Heh. If it helps, browse the "countdown" thread to see the wait times many of us have between visits. Some are in the triple digits!

All I can say is find an engrossing hobby. Don't make your life all about him. Even CD couples sometimes don't see each other as often as you do -- a little space can be healthy. This is a new relationship, so of course you want to be with him 24/7, but since you can't, use the time to build up yourself.

Best of luck, and welcome to LFAD.

^^ This as well. You have a way with words Minerva!

[Bethypoo]

First of all you are lucky you get to see your SO every weekend. Im lucky just on the fact I get to see mine every other month or so. But beside that, just keep busy. Make sure to talk everyday but keep yourself up on your own life whether it be school or work.

[spring]

Ok. Thanks. One more question - Should I let him know when I'm really missing him? I don't want to drag his day down by talking about how hard this is all the time. My thinking is - guys like to fix things and he can't fix this - so I don't want him to feel helpless. I need more contact and communication...how do I ask for that?

[Madge]

Let him know that your missing him but not in a "im so sad I really miss you right now *cry*" Maybe like, "I saw something while I was out today that made me think of you and smile miss you cant wait to see you xx"

How much contact and communication are you getting at the moment?

[NineInchNails_x]

It took me and my boyfriend a while to work out the communication issue. He was very busy because he was in new surroundings, making new friends, etc, while I was in the same place. You've got to find your own groove (: My bf was so busy he hardly had time to talk, so we set aside three days a week where we commit to talking on Skype. If we decide that we miss each other a lot, or if something important happens, etc, then we might talk one more day. It's all about appreciating what you have instead of what you don't have. (: I had to change my thinking around. At first I was saying...'Well, we used to talk every day and no we hardly talk at all.' but now I think 'At least I get to talk to him for 3 days a week. It could be a lot worse!'
Definitely tell him how you feel. He might be feeing the same way. It's okay to ask for more. Just be willing to compromise and if something comes up and he can't talk to you, understand that he isn't mad at you, or upset, and he didn't forget about you. He's not ditching you for his friends(this was a big problem of mine). Something just came up and he can't talk after all (:
I had to learn to be forgiving, to be understanding. If you were wondering...we send usually two - five emails a day and we talk on skype on Mon, Wed, and Fri. (:

[Bethypoo]

BTW, WELCOME TO LFAD!

[Fyrestar]

/gone

[megfashion]

ahah in this case, i mustve been in a long distance relationship when we started dating :P (we met up only on saturday, sometimes on sunday).

just do some work, keep your mind occupied. make a big fuss over the next date. so when you really cant keep your mind occupied, message him and say about whats going to happen at the weekend - im sure you will enjoy that as well as him!

hugs x

[spring]

We usually txt and email every day. Talk on the phone a couple of times during the week. Today was especially hard and he was very busy so I didn't hear from him. And weird that just now I logged on to Facebook, he was online - stayed there for 5 minutes without chatting. Now I'm sitting here wondering why.

[spring]

So I realize that most of you are in a FAR FAR away LDR. I don't know how you do it. Honestly. It would kill me. I'm actually thinking I am not cut out for this. We've not known each other long enough for me to say that we need to "close the distance". Not even a month yet. Neither of us could move right away anyhow. But I don't think I can give him up either. I'm so sad.

[Zapookie]

Hi Spring. The best advice I can give you, being in an LDR, no matter what the distance, is that you still keep yourself busy. You are still your own person even though you're in a relationship, and you still should have your own hobbies and interests that you can do in your day to day life. Continue as you were before you got together. If you're occupying yourself and keeping your mind off the distance and off him, you'll be a lot more at ease with the situation and you'll be a lot happier, trust me.

[Fyrestar]

/gone

[delphynaus]

honey, just like others said.. seeing eachother every weekend is a blessing that you should be happy about and soo possitive!! try not to live the wait.. but live your life in the mean time!! it takes a while to make it because it seems soo natural to live only waiting for the time to pass... I've learned it the hard way.. when we started dating, we were meeting once a year (during the two years) and now that we are married (in the last year)we try to see each other at least once every 4 to 5 months.. I would give anything right now to meet every weekend!!!! so just like other said... find things to do that you like.. hobby, learn a language meet friends do some other activities that you can always tell him about... ohhhh one more thing is to avoid any activities that can get you involved toooo much with guy best friends .. with the distance we get a tendency to like the guys who are present all the time arround and show enough care and affection.. (I hope my idea is clear)

alll the best !!!