This is for the couples that started out LDR...

How long was it before you guys met in person? How far was your distance? How was it when you had to leave your SO after your visit? Did you feel better or worse after being with them for the first time and then either you having to leave or them having to leave? Sorry so many questions I just want to get some feed back from couples that started out this way. We started out LDR and have been together for a little over 2 years and have never met in person. I'm really nervous about the first time I see him that I won't be able to leave. There are times were I can't get off skpye because I dont want to leave and he can't either. I can't imagine the pain it will be like if I could actually touch him I don't know If I could let him go. If anyone wants to share your story I would really appreciate it. Thanks for listening.

[heylittlekrissy]

Can't really answer many of the questions lol but I just wanted to comment and say I know how you feel. We met online almost 4 years ago, and have been dating for the last 6 and a half months, and have yet to meet in person. We're hoping to do so in May/June 2012, if everything goes as planned So best of luck to you and your SO on getting to meet asap

Edit: We're just over 1500 miles away from each other, lol, to answer one of your questions

[monkeynbunny]

I hope all goes well and you get to meet when you plan. Isn't funny how a video game made it all possible to find your one true love. LOL

[heylittlekrissy]

Haha, I know, right? It's amazing! lol
How did you two meet?

[HollzHeartsChris]

Although I've never met my SO either, I wanted to add that I know how you feel too. I've been in an LDR for almost a year with my SO Chris and he lives 5100 miles away from me. I'm in Wales, UK and he's in Arizona, USA. We're going to be unable to meet for about 3 years, so that we can both graduate and then enjoy more time together, if things work out alright. I wish sometimes I could just fast forward time so that we could be together but I have to be patient for now >_> lol. I can't wait to meet Chris, he's so gonna get pounced on

[Sierra]

Well I had known my now boyfriend for more than two years before we met in person. I had feelings for him the entire time, but it took awhile for those feelings to develop for him. I just knew he was something special. About a year ago I tried to arrange a meeting but it fell through because he couldn't get the time off work. We met in April of this year, about four months after his feelings for me were ABUNDANTLY clear. We did not label ourselves as being in a relationship until we met in person(although I frequently called him my boyfriend lol).

After I saw him at the airport, I felt amazing. I was shocked that he was finally with me and while our visit was short we had so much fun. I will say though, I thought I was in love with my boyfriend before I met him, and once met I realized I wasn't. I really needed the time to build up trust and establish feelings for him in person before I could tell him I love him. We said our first I love yous during his last visit.

So far all of our visits have been him coming to see me and him leaving is the worst part. I want to rush into the airport after him and beg him not to go. Now we're talking about closing the distance and me moving to where he lives, and this will be my first visit out there. I imagine leaving will be heart wrenching.

To be honest, parting ways never gets easier. I remember leaving him for the first time I thought "Oh yeah, this is what a broken heart feels like."

[Minerva]

OK, my relationship with my SO is a bit complicated. We were best friends for 2 years before we met, and he was married. The first time we met, it was with my mom, my son, him, and his wife, while I was vacationing in the UK. The second time we met was this spring after his marriage failed and I visited him to be a supportive friend but we became more than friends on that visit. So I'm not sure how helpful my experience will be, but I'll do my best to answer.

How long was it before you guys met in person? 2 years, but at our first meeting we were strictly friends. It was almost 3 years by our second meeting.

How far was your distance? 4000 miles. I'm in the States, he's in the UK.

How was it when you had to leave your SO after your visit? First visit was hard, because we were only friends at that point and we didn't know if we'd see each other again. The second time there were a lot of tears, but I was also so happy. It may sound odd to others here, but I was smiling most of my flight home. I still haven't gotten off that high, even months later.

Did you feel better or worse after being with them for the first time and then either you having to leave or them having to leave? I felt better both times. The second time, I felt this very profound rush of feelings that overtook everything I'd thought I'd felt about him. Everything between us became deeper and more real. It was hard to leave, but even with the pain of leaving, I felt so lucky to know this man and know we love one another.

Reading what other people have posted here, I think I'm a bit unusual that I'm not depressed about not being with him. I get depressed if we don't talk or if I can't see him on Skype, but otherwise I'm ok. I'm not happy with the distance and I want to be with him, but I feel our relationship is so strong we can get through anything. Also, he's coming for his first visit in about a month, so I think that cushions the loneliness a bit.

[kiara_silver]

Me and my SO met online over two years ago. Through me random messaging him lol We really just connected and become a couple right a way, the downside was He was over in UK while I was in the US. That's 4972.7 miles between us. We finally met after two years this June. He was here for 53 days, He had travelled to me. And it was AMAZING! It was everything I hoped for and more, we were so comfortable and natural with each other, It felt like we had been together already. I can't even tell you how amazing and wonderful it was, it was just ahh! But then it was time for him to go, the time seemed to just go by so fast he was here, then he was leaving. Its now been 2 and a half months since he's been gone. And its really hard I won't lie, harder this time being a LDR then before we met. Maybe because I know what im missing? And I still have 7 more months until I see him again. But it's so worth this. As hard as it is, and as much as i struggle, I would hurt a million times more if i didn't have him, or if he gave up, or if i was never able to see him again. As hard as it is he's worth the wait. I think having a set date really helps, it makes things a bit easier because you have that countdown, and then you at least know you will see him again. And then there's appreciating the things you get from a LDR. Like you get to appreciate and go back on the memories when you were together, you get to work or just, alot of communication, finding creative ways to spend the day. Sorry im rambling now haha kay im done.

[NaNi]

My SO and I are over 11,500 miles apart - she lives in New Zealand and I live in Germany. We were in contact for around 5 months before I flew over there to spend 5 weeks with her. We clicked instantly. We had such a wonderful time and grew even closer together. Saying goodbye was horrible though. We cried so much. I didn't want to leave. I wanted to stay.

[Moon]

How long was it before you guys met in person?
About 7 months after we started to be more than just "work friends". We'd known each other through work for about three years before we started talking off hours.

How far was your distance?
Our distance is about 4200 miles.

How was it when you had to leave your SO after your visit?
Sad of course, especially since the visit was awesome, but the goodbye left me wondering where we were going with the whole thing and when/if we'd see each other next. That was two years ago though, now I know exactly where we are, and we see each other about every 4-ish months, or 3 times a year. It's still sad as hell to leave though, that never changes.

Did you feel better or worse after being with them for the first time and then either you having to leave or them having to leave?
Better. After that first visit I knew we had what it takes to have a relationship with each other. For me (and for him) it wasn't quite real until we passed that test, and I knew we had the potential to work out. I feel better and better after every visit, our bond becomes stronger and we've settled into a comfortable routine. I'm kinda weird in that I don't mind being in an LDR, I'm older, I've been married before and I have an adult kid and a career, so I value my independence and freedom. I also value my boyfriend enough to know what an absolute rarity he is and that he's exactly right for me, which means I'd rather have the distance than not have him at all, y'know?

[Haley53]

How long was it before you guys met in person?
Since we'd made it official? Around 4 months. But since we'd met (and the feelings had developed very soon after)? Around two and a half years.

How far was your distance?
He's in Dublin, and I'm in California. Around 5100.

How was it when you had to leave your SO after your visit?
Miserable. We were both a mess the night before the morning he'd be dropping me off at the airport. It seemed the only way that either one of us could stop our crying was long enough to try and be strong for other, but we both only managed to hold ourselves together long enough for the other's sobs to be reduced to sniffles. I giggle a bit recalling the memory, simply because it really was like taking turns and I'm not sure it crossed either of our minds that we could have supported the other while also being sad. xD But it was a very painful leave and it's not something I was looking forward to. I'd been in one LDR prior to this one, so I was aware of how miserable the goodbyes were/are (though this one was about a hundred times harder), and I think being at the airport is worse, because who wants to be reduced to a snotty mess of tears in public? This was the first visit and the second time between this relationship and my last that I would be going and leaving from their home country, which also made it harder; the two times my ex came here, my mother and sister dropped us off to say goodbye, so I had their support as soon as he left, whereas leaving Dublin I had an 8 hour flight, 2 hour layover, and 6 hour flight to look forward to before I'd be back with my family.

Did you feel better or worse after being with them for the first time and then either you having to leave or them having to leave?
Not sure how to interpret this question, really. On the one hand, I "knew what I was missing," as kiara_silver put it. I'd met him and I'd felt that instant connection and the both of us were well aware the very moment we touched that we were in the arms of our one, and that was hard to leave behind, especially since we hadn't, at the time, planned on closing the distance, or thinking about it, until 2015/2016. Sure, there would be other visits, but there would be months between them, if not an entire year, so that was more difficult to come to terms with after meeting. I think meeting made the distance more real, so to speak. But on the other hand, it made it better? Because it proved that what we were going through was worth it. It proved to me that the feelings were as real as the distance, maybe even more so, and it proved to the both of us that this was what we wanted and we would do anything in our power to make it work. So I think it was bittersweet, but I always tend to lean on the sweeter end. I'd rather have had the pain than to not have had the dance.

[Jgui]

How long was it before you guys met in person? *I met my SO online about 3.5 months ago and we talked for about 1 week and met up after. Started dating the following week, we've been together for 3 months.*

How far was your distance? *I guess I'm considered lucky because we are only 115 miles (2 hour drive)apart. But this distance will end next year when he graduates because he will get deploy to we dont know where yet.....*

How was it when you had to leave your SO after your visit? *i feel sad after each visit..we don't really communicate much over phone or text, so the only time we really talk is when we're together. I remember when we took our 1st vacation together I was feeling major withdrawal from him.. I was super emotional and had the blues for 3 days, that was bad. But now that our relationship is getting stronger, I don't feel as sad. I always remind myself each minute passed is another minute closer to seeing him again.*

This is my 1st LDR and it was really tough in the beginning because you want to spend more time with them, but then distance is keeping you apart.

[Malaga]

- We met in person about 2 months after we started flirting on twitter. He went to see me first, to check if there's something there in RL as well. He's not the type who could wait for a long time between meeting online and first visit, he needs that RL confirmation. I don't really know about myself, maybe I'm like that too, maybe I'm not. Luckily we didn't have to find out.

- We're about 850 miles apart. It's not so bad, there are direct flights between our cities and it only takes 2 hours, and one time zone. In the off season flights are pretty cheap and it's mainly the lack of time that prevents us from spending more time together :-/

- It was hard of course to separate, but I wasn't depressed at all. I was still on a high from our fabulous week together. I always feel like that after a visit, definitely on a high for a few weeks. Every visit upgrades us to another level, so I feel, and the connection we have is still so vivid and tangible I relish it even after we're apart. It's that middle time between visits that hits me the hardest...

- We both felt better, definitely, after the first visit. I remember asking him if it was what he expected, he said it was better than he could've hoped for. I felt the same. The first month after our first visit was the most romantic time we've had together. Then after awhile the inevitable end to the honeymoon phase happened, but right now I think it's better than at the beginning. There were more romantic words then, but now the connection between us feels more solid and permanent.

[squeeker]

How long was it before you guys met in person? We met in person November 2010 which was a little over a year since we first met online, and a little over 2 months after we officially declared our relationship to the world (on facebook).

How far was your distance? About 4600 miles, I'm in Canada, he's in the U.K.

How was it when you had to leave your SO after your visit? It was not fun at all, I had a long taxi ride back to the airport and had to go through check in, security, and a bunch of waiting in the departures lounge, and then a long flight back to Canada.. definitely not as exciting as the journey TO my SO.. But both times, right before I left, his dad reminded us not to be sad and not to fall apart after I leave so I had that in my head as well as all the stuff I have to get through to get back home. My SO on the other hand had to stay behind in his place where we were together just minutes before so I think it's harder being the one left behind. But it's still hard to leave. I didn't want to let go of my boyfriend but I had to.

Did you feel better or worse after being with them for the first time and then either you having to leave or them having to leave? I think I felt better because having visited him once already (well now for me it's been twice), it solidifies our feelings for each other and how much we really care about each other and also shows to our family and friends that this is a real relationship, and we got to share memories together without having to use the internet. But at the same time, it's much harder to be without them once you know how it feels to be with them. (That is, if your relationship really is the right one for you)

I hope that helps! Good luck in your relationship!

[leonsfangirl]

How long was it before you guys met in person?
3 years from when we first met and fell for each other, just under 1 year after we fully committed to the relationship (i was married)

How far was your distance?
Just over 4,000 miles. I'm in the U.K, he's in Canada.

How was it when you had to leave your SO after your visit?
Horrible! We got got on so well straight away, It was like i'd always been there. Leaving him at the airport is possibly one of the hardest things i have ever done.

Did you feel better or worse after being with the for the first time and then either you having to leave or them having to leave?
Both but i generally feel better.
I now have zero doubts about our feelings,that we can work as a couple. I feel more secure in our relationship than i ever did before and i have the inspiration to carry on when it all seems too much and all the memories we made help me when i miss him.
But, i also know exactly what I'm missing and i miss him sooooo much more now. It took us a while (still not 100%) to get used to being long distance again but it's getting better.


Reading that back sounds pretty horrible but it's not something i would ever change. It makes you work harder at the relationship, makes the time you get to spend together even more special. I was terrified of meeting my SO, a million what if's went through my mind but it was all for nothing. It couldn't have gone any better, i will always remember that first week i spent with my future husband (girly giggle) in a hugely positive light.