updates and concerns i have?

[rusty15]

So after everything that has happened between my S/O and I, I finally visited him [today is my last day ]

We have talked about everything that has happened, our future, the past and have decided to stay together and he wants me to move out here with him when I graduate in 2-3 months. He has apologized profusely for everything, re-assured me how much he loved me and wants to be with me. I wrote him an email when he was in Germany (after our online fight) explaining everything straight-up, no sugar-coating anything, what I wanted and what was going on. He told me that after he read the email he realized that I was the one for him. We even started looking at apartment/condos for us to live in. My time here has been amazing although I was kind of upset about something.

He has this friend (who is a girl) back in WI, that he used to hang out with along with his best friend and their friends but she went to a different high school and college so they never talked, recently added each other on facebook. He never 'hooked up' with her or anything just friends, now she is hanging out with all of his old friends in WI again. They have started to chat on facebook, and sometimes text and sometimes rarely call each other. I'm kind of uncomfortable with it, I mean I saw the conversations on facebook and nothing was ever sexual or flirty, the only thing that caught my eye was something along the line of "wish you were here partying with us!" but I just think it's weird? He told me that nothing was going on and said he will cut back talking to her on facebook and what not. I'm just not used to him having friends that are girls, I mean he did back when we first started dating but since he moved to CA he has only had guy friends. It's just very confusing/annoying/uncomfortable for me, and when he comes back to visit I'm sure we will be hanging out with her and his friends so I guess I'll see what she is like than?

[Haley53]

I don't have time to properly respond to this, but the one thing I am going to say is do not, in any way, influence his friendships. If there's nothing inappropriate going on and they only talk occasionally, I don't see the issue. I wouldn't even see the issue if they were speaking frequently, so long as everything was being kept appropriate, really. :/ I know that I spoke quite a bit to one of my old male friends from high school when we reconnected and that fizzled out once we'd caught up. The fact that she's female and that you haven't met her should not be a reason for him to stop or limit contact with her. This WILL cause resentment and trouble in your relationship. That's about all I have time to say about it. Unless someone comes along and responds more thoroughly, in which case I'll still say something, I'll be back later to respond more properly.

[Bethypoo]

Honestly, tell him that it makes you uncomfortable. I mean, you've been honest so far. Just let him know how you feel and see what he says. Id be uncomfortable too. But you cant really tell him who to talk to either.

[Minerva]

Agree with both Eclair and Bethypoo. You feel uncomfortable, so come clean with him about that. But you really can't tell him who to talk to or be friends with. If she hasn't said anything flirty (and a "wish you partying with us," message isn't flirty -- a guy could say that to another guy), you really have no call to ask him to stop talking to her.

I had guy friends in high school. I've seen a couple on Facebook (though I didn't friend them). If I got back in touch, it would be more of a "hey, we got the band back together!" sort of thing: pals, friends, drinking buddies. I never felt anything for my guy friends back then, and they're even less appealing to me now, lol. It might even die out after an initial spurt of communication.

If there's no relationship history with her and she's being respectful to your relationship, you just have to find a way to get secure with it because as Eclair said, he could start resenting you if you make a deal about girls who are really no threat to your relationship.

It's not easy, I know that. But he's not doing anything wrong, and you should come to grips with it.

Best of luck.