Interracial relationships

[weetzie]

Well he's Brazilian but because he's Italian/Portuguese heritage, he's still white. That's why I mentioned it. I'm Irish heritage, so I'm just as pale.

[Stina24]

My SO is African and I'm Eurasian so definately an interracial relationship! I havent heard to many negative comments though one "friend" did make inappropriate remarks but I'm not going let it bother me as my SO and I are happy together... *shrugs*

[MissVampyxo]

He's Hispanic and I'm simply Caucasian. My family is a bit racist and always jokes that he's a 'Mexican'. It really pisses me off, they don't say anything towards him but always says it to me. I rarely ever notice that we're even 'different'. I haven't visited there yet but I'm sure I'm in for a lot of new things, which I'm excited about. New food, and of course his mother only speaks Spanish which I'm a little worried about but I think it will be fun! Apparently the last time he was here when we were at the mall he thought he seen people staring and 'laughing' at us. Then again it could be from anything. (I'm overweight and we're about the same height- I think I might be even a little taller!)

[starr416]

I'm in an interracial relationship as well. I'm black and my SO is half Irish half Scottish, but was born in America. We haven't met yet. Neither of our families will care, but I'm more concerned about reactions from other people. He lives in a small town and I know how some older people are sometimes about interracial relationships. I've already gotten a taste of what it's like in a way as I have a friend who is black, white, and italian and when we go to certain places down here we get funny looks and sometimes even stared at. I'm used to it, but I dunno how my SO will react as I'm the first black girl he's dated

I'm in the exact same situation. My SO lives about an hour outside of Portland and he described it to me as being a very-white/very republican/very-conservative neighborhood. I also worry how he will handle the looks or possible comments, I'm his 1st black girlfriend. Also, we have talked about possibly closing our long distance relationship in the future, and me moving out there is a better option than him moving to Philly, since he owns his home and has a career, whereas I just graduated grad school and could go anywhere.

[AEAS]

I'm about as white as you can get and my boyfriend is Mexican, but we haven't gotten any strange looks or remarks or anything. Honestly though, I live in California (United States), where there's a higher Mexican population than white to begin with. The cultural differences aren't that far off either, since he lives right on the border. I'm sure i'll notice it more when I go to visit him for the first time.

[THINK2MUCH]

WELL, I AM A MEXICAN AND HE AN AMERICAN...
WE HAVEN'T REALLY HAD THAT SORT OF PROBLEM BECAUSE I'M NOT REALLY BROWNISH AND HE'S NOT REALLY WHITE, IT'S MORE LIKE I HAVE A YELLOWISH WHITE COMPLEXION AND HE'S PINK, LOL!!
I DID EXPECT A BIT OF REJECTION THE FIRST TIME I VISITED HIM, THOUGH.
MEXICAN ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION TO THE US IS A COMPLEX AND SERIOUS ISSUE, AND ONE THAT IS COMMONLY A PART OF PEOPLE'S TALK. BUT I WAS REALLY AMAZED AT HOW NICE PEOPLE IN HIS STATE (AND THAT'S A VERY WHITE STATE) HAVE BEEN TO ME EVERY TIME I'VE VISITED HIM. (HATS OFF TO ND!!!)
I GUESS THE PART THAT PEOPLE FIND FUNNY LOOKING ABOUT US IS OUR SIZES, LOL HE'S LIKE 6'3 AND KIND OF HEAVY, AND I'M ONLY A SKINNY 5' CREATURE .. SO OUR RELATIONSHIP INVOLVES A LOT OF BENDING AND REACHING, LOL. BUT WE KIND OF LIKE THAT.
I THINK -ALL JOKES ASIDE, RACIAL AND CULTURAL DIFFERENCES DO MATTER, AND IT IS NAIVE TO THINK THAT THEY WON'T HAVE AN IMPACT IN A RELATIONSHIP. BUT IF A COUPLE IS TRULY COMMITTED AND THERE'S GOOD COMMUNICATION BETWEEN THEM, THAT LITTLE ISSUE IS NOT SO HARD TO OVERCOME.

[TwoThree]

^ I wish you wouldn't write all in caps

I too am in an interracial/intercultural relationship. I'm Maghrebine (which basically means Berber/Turkish/Arab and a whole bunch of other stuff thrown in there) and he is 100% Finnish. I do get strange looks when I'm with him in Finland, but it's 90% from people who have a background similar to mine. The way I feel when I look at some of their faces is that I am a race-traitor and a slut. It's actually kinda amusing.

From my own side, well we don't have to deal with any negativity because the relationship is pretty much a secret. Knowing how my family is borderline racist, I'm sure I'll have to deal with a shit-storm when I come out with it, but I knew that from day one.

As for the relationship itself, we are obviously very different and don't always approach things in a similar manner but I like to think that it's not something that we can't overcome and that ultimately we both will benefit from being exposed to the "best of both worlds."

[Irina_Linn]

I am Russian and my SO is Indian.At first,there was much surprise from my family and freinds side,coz well....most of them have this stupid Soviet Union perception about Indians being "these black people riding elephants and not wearing proper clothes" But now my mom loves him and my friends are just happy for us.From his side everyone are good about us too.And the relationship...we had minor misunderstandings as obviously,few things are different.But we are overcoming them and trying to understand each other whenever we have any issues

[THINK2MUCH]

Oh My...Everyone's been scolding me about the CAPS thing (long story)...sorry I won't do it anymore...
Wow, very interesting story.
I hope things go well when you tell your family.
Good luck with that TwoThree!!!

[Alle1770]

My SO is Argentinian and I'm Swedish, so we're in an interracial/intercultural relationship as well My entire family knows, and they are completely cool with it because the people I hang out with + my family are very open minded and all. The only one having a problem with it is my grandmother, who is SO racist. It usually wasn't a problem for me when I was younger, but the last couple of years it's gotten me so annoyed I've been close to actually screaming at her a couple of times, haha So yeah, she's not too happy about me and my SO, wondering "what I'm gonna do with one of those?" and stuff like that, which really hurts sometimes even if I know it's because she's from a different generation. Other than that, no problems what so ever! I mean, of course there's a language barrier with our mother tounges, and we do things a bit differently, but it's all been working just fine so far!

[TwoThree]

Oh My...Everyone's been scolding me about the CAPS thing (long story)...sorry I won't do it anymore...
Wow, very interesting story.
I hope things go well when you tell your family.
Good luck with that TwoThree!!!

Thank you so much

[kittyo9]

I'm not sure why I never replied to this thread to begin with...

Anyway, my SO and I (click for picture ) do not share skin tones in the least, although we're both "pale" for the color we're "supposed" to be. xD My family is Greek Orthodox, so we have a few Greek traditions that constitute our "culture," and they're very different from his traditions as a Chinese-Peruvian. We also celebrate holidays-- especially Christmas-- very differently, in part due to the climates we live in, which have shaped the way we associate things with those particular holidays.

I'm glad that my family isn't especially critical of our differences-- instead, they find it interesting and like to ask questions about what it's like for him, since I've now been there. I think the only person who might take issue with our interculturality might be my extremely conservative ex-cop uncle.

[GrandSupreme]

I'm also in an interracial relationship I am Jamaican (although born and bred in England!) and my SO is half Belgian, half Lebanese. Nobody on my side of the family were surprised and welcomed him straight away, eager to show in "the Jamaican way!"

My SO doesn't speak to the Lebanese side of his family, but the Belgian side were very curious about me and also very accepting They are always asking if I'm related to Bob Marley But apart from stares when we go out (my SO is the darkest skinned person in his town and he is almost the same skin tone as a full Belgian would be ) I did however find it odd that soo many people in Belgium both friends and family have told me I am the first black person to ever enter their house!

[lademoiselle]

I'm mixed race; my mum is from Italy and my dad is from the Carribean. My SO's dad is French and his mum comes from Reunion Island so her skin is a bit tanned, but my SO turned out very pale with blue eyes! (I'll be back to add a photo if I can find one of us in natural light.) My SO and I have never had any negative comments about being an interracial couple... it's pretty common to see in our capital cities anyway. And since both our sets of parents are of different races themselves, it's nothing out of the ordinary for our families either

[Anyaheirkoya]

He's South Asian (Nepalese), I'm a born and bred Kansas white girl. So far, we haven't dealt with a lot of opposition based on our races, but we've also kept it out of the faces of those who would be inclined to say hurtful things, too. My Grandfather is a huge racist, And my great grandmother is...Well, she's not racist, but she's certainly made some impolite comments. And the majority of my family are simply suspicious people who constantly question motivation. (The worst thing: they think I'm being 'used' to obtain permanent residency. He's not even going to use me at all in his immigration process- everything is going through his school and work.)*I will say, it's hugely annoying people being protective of me, but I understand it. I'm the young, innocent little white girl, and he's the big, bad foreign man 10 years older than me. lol...so I get it, I do. And I try not to react very much, because if I wasn't intimately familiar with my situation, I would probably be nervous, too.

As far as difficulties within our relationship...well, I said from the start that I would never jump to conclusions, because of the language barrier between us. (English is his 3rd language...and he's got a lot of other junk floating around in that brain of his, too.) But eventually, it's inevitable. We're both horrible conclusion-jumpers, so we spend a lot of time setting the other person straight about what we really mean, and how we really feel. Which is good. We've both gained valuable communication skills.

Growing up, I rarely even saw black people. I saw a few inter-racial relationships, but I'd never even seen an intercultural one, or even gave it any thought until I was well into my teens. It's been a completely new world for me, and one I never thought I'd be a part of. But I couldn't be happier. He's one of the absolute best things that's even happened to me, and learning about his culture, his way of thinking, our differences and similarities, it's opened my eyes to the rest of the world like nothing else could. And I love being his 'Gori' girl.

Okay, him speaking in Hindi is dang sexy...but when he speaks in Nepali? I melt. I absolutely melt. I beg him to speak it to me/around me on a regular basis. It makes me heart pound and my knees go weak. I feel like it's really him, the way he should be. (Does that make any sense?) I absolutely yearn to learn it, but the resources are soo slim. Can't wait until he's out of school! He has vowed to attempt to teach me. Right now, all I can say is 'hello', 'sex', 'I love you', and 'thank you'. Oh, and 'Banana'. After nearly 6 months, you'd think I would have picked up more. Sadly, my best friend has absorbed and retained far more than I have. She can say all sorts of things! Grrr...Anyway. I get Nepali deprivation every so often. He has very very few Nepalese friends anymore (converting to Christianity will do that), so he has very little opportunity to speak it. I want to leeeaaarrrnnn! Doesn't help that I'm shy and timid when it comes to learning new things, and I'm so scared of screwing up that it holds me back...Anyway.

I haven't noticed stares when we've been together, but since he's in TX a lot of people assume he's Hispanic (You wouldn't believe the amount of people who come up to him and start speaking Spanish, lol.), and it's not all that uncommon for Hispanic and Caucasian couples around there. Still, even if we were getting looks, I would never notice., As far as I'm concerned, when we're together, we're the only 2 people in the room.

Man, I could go on all day about how much I love our skin tones together, and fantasizing about future gorgeous babies, and how friggin' enriching and rewarding my interracial and intercultural relationship is...but this post is getting waay too long. lol.