Missing Special Days Together

[Sierra]

How do you guys deal with missing special days together? I know to some I'm going to seem like such a whiner because my boyfriend and I do get get to see each other frequently but it doesn't change the way I feel about this.

I found out yesterday that while we get to spend his birthday together in a few weeks, we can't spend Valentine's Day together, my birthday or our anniversary (my birthday and our anniversary are in the same week). This DEVASTATED me. I've never been in a relationship with someone who was willing to celebrate Valentine's Day with me or would do something nice for me on an anniversary and I finally found this man who I want to be my life partner, but nope ... because of distance and schedules it just won't work (I have to do extra work so I can make more money to move out there)

We decided we would see if we could make Valentine's Day work. I'd be there literally for a day ... fly in Monday night, leave Wednesday morning. He's going to check to see if he can get the day off. There are no promises but it would mean everything if we could make that work.

So how do you guys deal with being apart from your loved one on the days you want to be together the most? I'm just ready for this distance to end. I hate it.

[Moon]

I just deal with it, I have no choice, Finland is to far away and too expensive for a quick trip unfortunately. Some days bother me more than others, I don't care about Valentine's day, but Thanksgiving bothers me because that's the day you're supposed to be surrounded by everyone important to you. Christmas is the same, but we'll be together this year I just try staying distracted and busy, it's all you can do, and plan on celebrating when you finally get to be together. Distance can be hardest at those times

[Sierra]

I just deal with it, I have no choice, Finland is to far away and too expensive for a quick trip unfortunately. Some days bother me more than others, I don't care about Valentine's day, but Thanksgiving bothers me because that's the day you're supposed to be surrounded by everyone important to you. Christmas is the same, but we'll be together this year I just try staying distracted and busy, it's all you can do, and plan on celebrating when you finally get to be together. Distance can be hardest at those times

Like I said, I feel badly complaining because we do get to see each other frequently. I guess it comes from the fact that I've never been in a great relationship before. I just wish I could spend this time with him and celebrate important days together. I actually always hated Valentine's Day but now that I have someone really special, I want to celebrate that.

It's hard when you can't. I'm most upset about not being able to spend our anniversary together that bothers me the most. I just keep telling myself it's just for this year and then we'll be together and I won't have to worry about this anymore.

[Sora1101]

I understand how you feel, I've never even spent one holiday with a boyfriend before, the two years I've been with my SO we couldn't see each other for the holidays so I have no idea what it's like to get gifts from a significant other on my birthday or valentines day or christmas, it just makes you feel very lonely. We can't even mail gifts to each other because of parents. :/

I usually just try to surround myself with friends or keep myself busy with other activities but it really doesn't help much, just try to keep your mind off of it.

[Haley53]

I'm the same as Moon.

Our original plan, before everything happened, had been to try and see one another on Valentine's Day, but with my current income at the time (which has ironically now been boosted by an additional 400.00 a month), it wouldn't have worked out. We could have attempted a two week visit around that time - we didn't want it to be so short it wasn't worth the near grand of air fare, but not entirely lengthy because we wanted to save money for a summer visit, for when I wasn't in school - but it would have been risking his coming out in the summer, and we both weren't willing to risk that much. It was incredibly disappointing, understandably, especially since this was someone who once loathed the holiday and had now been looking forward to it! But in the end, I really had no choice but to deal with it. :/ I somewhat had the reassurance of the summer visit, but it was still saddening and I think the only way I did deal with it properly was looking at it as a chance to get creative and find a way to make it as special and romantic online as I possibly could.

[sarajoan]

I know how you feel. My boyfriend and I also get to see each other pretty frequently (usually once a month), but those special days kind of get me down. The last 2 years we havent been able to celebrate our anniversary or valentines day and this year is no different. It sucks, but what we do is just celebrate it later. It's kind of nice this way because we're the only ones out celebrating on that day so it's more special. Also, we make sure to have a skype date on those day so that we can actually see each other. I know it isn't the same as being with the person, but just think of all the valentines and anniversaries you'll have in the future and how special they'll be to you since you two havent been able to celebrate together in the past.
I dont know about you but most of the time on special days it's seeing other couples together that gets me down, so i would suggest going out with friends or family members on those days and steer clear of couples.

[Mara]

It makes me terribly sad honestly, but I know it's just the way it is with us sometimes. We won't get to be together on my birthday this year and we weren't together on my birthday last year nor Christmas. We aren't huge Valentine's Day people so I don't remember or care if we did anything, but birthdays and Christmas are rough. Luckily, we have been able to spend our anniversary together.

[Bethypoo]

Yea... I mean it sucks, but there is nothing that you can do about it. All you can do it acknowledge the day and then move on. It is going to be hard, but all the good things in life tend to be hard.

You will be fine. Just stay busy. That is really all you can do.

[kiara_silver]

I hate having to miss special days. I have those silly little fantasy, of valentines day watching a romantic movie, giving him a heart felt card, maybe getting a red rose, expressing our love, just the whole deal. And I have someone amazing who i want to spend that day with and can't because we live over 4000 miles apart. Or our anniversary, we never got to celebrate them together (granted we will this coming year) It makes me extremely sad. Yeah sure we spend it together online, but it can't replace in person. I love the mushy corny romantics, I do, i love it all, it gives me butterfly's and makes me love him more that he likes it too. And I so want to spend a really romantic holiday together so badly. So I know how you feel.

But at least we have a special someone in our lifes, and soon you'll be able to spend these days together. Just have to hang in there, keep busy, and try to be patient.

[Sunbeam]

We won't be together on his birthday, Christmas, Valentines Day, our anniversary etc.
He'll be here for my birthday, hopefully.
Really, we just deal. We skype if possible, and just try to make the best of it.
The end will justify the means, ya know?

[kittyo9]

So far we've missed every special occasion together! :P I wish we could spend those days together, but we can't. It's just not possible. So I just accept it and we spend time together online instead. He always does cute things for me, regardless of where he is. The meaning of the day won't change just because we aren't next to one another.

[squirrelz15]

Thanks for making this thread. It helped to read it, as my SO just turned 21 yesterday and I couldn't be with him and go out and party with him and his friends. Neither of us are big party people, but the special days do make it harder. I was glad I had work to keep me busy. This is a pretty new relationship, but we've known each other for years, just recently decided to take it further, and the thought of the special days does make it harder.

[Kerry]

my bf and I haven't been together for any holidays or birthdays yet. we're supposed to be spending christmas, new years, and our 7 month anniversary together (fingers crossed). we won't be together on valentine's or my birthday and that will be interesting to see if I don't cry!

[alw83]

I am just realizing how much this sucks. I guess I hadn't thought of it much before, but we were talking the other night and he said how much he wished I could be there with him for the holidays and I really got to thinking about how great that would be. Then it hit me that for the first time in my life I've actually got a boyfriend for Valentines Day and now he lives 800 miles away and I can't even be with him on that day. Not gonna lie it sucks. My hope is that he'd be able to come out, but it's pretty doubtful that will actually happen.

[Engel]

Well, it upset me, sure, but brazil-germany tickets arent cheap. at all. so we would have skype dates or something on the special days.

i guess what upset me more than aniiversary or valentines day was the one time we werent together for christmas and new years, end of 2009, we were together on new years of 2008 to 2009, and from 2010 to 2011, and will be together this year. hope i wont have to ever spend those dates away from him again.