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    One of my worst fears has come true..

    I found out earlier tonight that my SO had a gun put to his head and was robbed of everything on him.

    As I've posted before, my SO lives in Nicaragua and I live in the US. We have super limited communication b/c he does not have access to internet and thus send messages to each other on facebook and that's it. We hadn't spoke in 6 weeks b/c he dropped his cell phone in water leaving the mic useless. My SO recently got a new cell and we spoke for the first time in 6 weeks on Wednesday. He promised me now we would have better communication from this point on and I really believed things would improve. He told me I could now call him whenever I want. Yesterday, I called him and the phone just rang and rang. At first, I thought maybe he wasn't hearing the calls (he mentioned the volume on his new phone was a lot lower). But then after trying about 10 more times throughout the day, I realized there is no way he would miss so many calls from me. I remained worried all last night and all day today and thought of all the worst case scenarios. A few hours ago I receive a message from him on FB saying he was robbed at gunpoint just a day after we spoke. My SO doesn't go out a lot, but what he does love to do is play pool, and spends a lot of time at the pool hall right up the street from his house. Well, this is where he and his friends were robbed by a group of 4 men brandishing guns who entered the pool hall and left with the belongings of everyone there, including the owner. My SO was robbed of his cell, his wallet, his clothes and his shoes.

    I know I should be happy that my SO is okay (and I am), but I am so distraught over this. I feel empty inside and began crying when I first read his message. I don't know how I will not worry that this won't happen again. It doesn't help that he lives in a very poor, rural area of Nicaragua that actually doesn't even have a police force (there is no money supplied by the gov't for this). There is instead, a volunteer police force made up of about 3 men who sadly don't do a whole lot. I lived in my SO's town for over a year and a half so I know how it is. The fact is there is a lot of very violent crime that is left to go on. During my time there, one of the students in the local high school was actually killed in a machete attack b/c his brother was affiliated w/a rival gang. Knowing these things happen really scares me b/c my worst fear is that my SO will be a victim of a crime. And I seriously don't know what I would do without him.

    Our closing the distance plan from day 1 has been me moving there to be w/him and his family. Now, I don't know what to think. I can't talk to my family about this b/c my Mom already thinks I am crazy for even wanting to move there.

    And we're back to no communication yet again b/c now he has no cell. He was messaging me from a friend's phone...I just feel so defeated inside. I just want to be able to talk to my SO and not have to constantly worry about his safety. Why is that so hard?

    #2
    Oh jeez... I panicked yesterday cause my SO fell of his bike :/ I don't know how you didn't jump on a plane, train, or car, or even a tricycle just to be with him! That's really scary. *hugs* Don't worry, things will get better! And just because one bad thing happened, don't let it ruin Nicaragua for you Things like that happen in America too. Bad things happen everywhere, so just be careful when you close the distance.

    "In order to attain the impossible, one must attempt the absurd."
    -Miguel De Cervantes

    Read our story HERE
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      #3
      First time posting ever...

      I'm sorry this has happened to your SO...I know how things are around here, I'm in Honduras, neighbor to Nicaragua...Gang stuff around here is terrible.. :S
      Have you guys talked about him moving where you are? I mean, Nicaragua is a beautiful place, but just like Honduras, it's not the best place ever. My SO lives in Chile..our plan is for me to move, I just don't see future here, and I guess it's almost the same in Nicaragua..especially if he is from a very poor place...
      I hope everything gets better soon, we're here to support you

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        #4
        Oh god, that's horrifying. I'm so, so sorry. I'm so glad he's all right!

        I wish circumstances were different and you could talk to your SO more. I also hope you two can both find a safer place to live when you finally do close the distance.

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          #5
          Originally posted by DemonxOisin View Post
          Oh jeez... I panicked yesterday cause my SO fell of his bike :/ I don't know how you didn't jump on a plane, train, or car, or even a tricycle just to be with him! That's really scary. *hugs* Don't worry, things will get better! And just because one bad thing happened, don't let it ruin Nicaragua for you Things like that happen in America too. Bad things happen everywhere, so just be careful when you close the distance.
          I wish I could see him, but it's not possible. Actually I'm planning on visiting in January...still far off. This hasn't ruined Nicaragua for me, like I said I lived there for a long time and love the country, but living there (as in building a house and permanently moving there) is quite different and obviously things like this (which happened right down the street from where my SO lives) are scary. I guess I should also mention this is just the latest (but by far the worst) event that's happened to my SO and his family...in February he was robbed of his bookbag in his university, in April his older brother was beaten up and robbed while on his way to work, in May the family business where my SO worked was the scene of a gang fight and my SO had a glass bottle thrown at his face (he since left that job)...now this.

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            #6
            Originally posted by Teffie_s View Post
            First time posting ever...

            I'm sorry this has happened to your SO...I know how things are around here, I'm in Honduras, neighbor to Nicaragua...Gang stuff around here is terrible.. :S
            Have you guys talked about him moving where you are? I mean, Nicaragua is a beautiful place, but just like Honduras, it's not the best place ever. My SO lives in Chile..our plan is for me to move, I just don't see future here, and I guess it's almost the same in Nicaragua..especially if he is from a very poor place...
            I hope everything gets better soon, we're here to support you
            Thanks for your post and welcome to the boards. We've talked about him coming here for a brief period of time so I can keep working. He says he would do it if I really wanted him to, but we've never really seriously researched it. We've definitely never talked about staying in the US permanently. He has his heart set on building a house on his family's land (in his town). I was all for the idea despite the difficulties living there. My SO, being the optimist that he is, keeps saying this was just bad luck and that there's danger everywhere.

            Comment


              #7
              There is danger everywhere, yes, but when so many things happen so often, it's more than pure bad luck. Maybe he will consider it if he knew more cons about him moving instead. I know about not wanting to leave your home, but when situations get out of hand so much, it pretty much sucks and makes you re-evaluate what you appreciate the most.
              I hope you both can sort it out soon, my best wishes for you

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                #8
                I'm so sorry, but I'm glad he's okay!

                If I were you, I would revisit who would be moving where when the two of you close the distance. I think it's one thing to live in a place like that for a period of time, but another thing to move someplace like that permanently. People always say "there's crime everywhere", but statistics prove there is more crime in certain areas and neighborhoods; that's not to say you can move somewhere and never get robbed, but you can move somewhere where robbery isn't a commonplace occurrence and there is a police force.

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                  #9
                  OMG! Just reading this post made me panic! Ugh. Im so sorry that happened to him but am so happy he is okay.

                  As for moving there to be with him. I mean, things can happen anywhere and yes some places are more dangerous than others. But you can also trip and break your leg while walking to class or get into a car accident you cant predict how the world is going to work and what it will throw it at you. I am an international relations major and I LOVE to travel. But there are some places that I could never live no matter how much i love the culture or people. Honestly, I think it is something you and you SO should talk about more. If you are not comfortable moving there, then you really should bring it to his attention.

                  But again, I am so happy that he is okay!!!
                  Got together Jan 3, 2011~ Closed the Distance March 23, 2012~ Living Together Since June 19 2012~ Future TBD......

                  I miss you more than I ever could have believed; and I was prepared to miss you a good deal." ~ Vita Sackville-west

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Omg, that is terrifying! My boyfriend has been robbed twice in the time that I've been with him. One time he was ganged up on and the other he was asleep and they took his phone from his bag. When he was approached the first time, they took his wallet from him, including the only color picture he had of his dad. He was so, so upset and I felt just awful. The second time he had gotten a really nice phone as a replacement and I was really enjoying the decent cam it had... up until it was stolen. I had to convince him not to buy another expensive phone in case it happened again. Now I'm always afraid that it will happen again if he falls asleep on the bus.

                    It is so unfortunate that some people choose to threaten others and steal. It's what keeps me from going out at night.
                    Canadian permanent residence APPROVED!
                    Closed the Distance: 09/26/2019
                    Engaged: 09/26/2020

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Oh honey sending all the virtual hugs I can *hugs*x10! You are right to focus on the fact that he’s safe things cam be easily replaced. With that said it does suck that you guys won’t be in constant communication..I’m so sorry for that. My SO hasn’t been held-up and gunpoint but he has been in a car accident last year a few weeks before we were to meet up..the accident left him with a broken leg and a punctured lung. I got an e-mail from his little sister and nearly fainted I didn’t know what to do! I wanted to fly out there but he didn’t want me to see him like that which left me FRUSTRATED and Sad..but I had to respect that decision.
                      Keep the faith..it will get better soon..wishing you two the best..

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                        #12
                        Thank you for all the replies. The support here means a lot to me.

                        The fact is it's really dangerous to have anything nice there. When I met my SO, he didn't have a cell and told me that's b/c he had been held up for it at knifepoint while taking the bus. I had a cell while living there, very basic (US $25) and gave it to him to use when I came back to the US in January. That cell was our only way of keeping in touch, so I constantly worried that it would be stolen. Luckily when they stole his bookbag in February, the cell wasn't in it. Now just two days after he gets the replacement cell, this happens. And I'm just so blown away by the whole thing b/c these were a bunch of armed thieves who entered a normally quiet place of recreation. I live in NYC and robberies are common. I have a nice phone and never take it out while on the subway, never use it while walking at night...and generally that works. There's no advice I can give to my SO on this. I just feel terrible about the whole thing.

                        I'm not sure when we'll talk again. Today are elections in his country and everyone is saying there will be riots/violence once the results are announced (there was in the last election). I told my SO to please be safe and try to stay inside in case something happens.

                        I hope when I visit in January we can talk more about if me moving there is really the best plan right now. My SO says he's open to ideas, so maybe we can come up with a list of alternate countries.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Man I hate to say it like this, but in a lot of places it's not IF you'll get robbed, but how and when you'll get robbed. Can you look into moving into a different city in Nicaragua? I know Granada is pricey and touristy, but I've always felt extremely safe there, plus it's beautiful. Or even Leon or Managua might be better. I'm so sorry this happened. My SO has a pretty nasty story of being kidnapped and his life threatened (of course it happened 2 blocks from where we live right now!). Shit happens, but all you can do is continue to be as safe and as alert as possible. I highly suggest you look into another city. Or maybe in Honduras or El Salvador. It might be easy for him to go there since they have that shared visa thing.

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                            #14
                            Originally posted by lucybelle View Post
                            Man I hate to say it like this, but in a lot of places it's not IF you'll get robbed, but how and when you'll get robbed. Can you look into moving into a different city in Nicaragua? I know Granada is pricey and touristy, but I've always felt extremely safe there, plus it's beautiful. Or even Leon or Managua might be better. I'm so sorry this happened. My SO has a pretty nasty story of being kidnapped and his life threatened (of course it happened 2 blocks from where we live right now!). Shit happens, but all you can do is continue to be as safe and as alert as possible. I highly suggest you look into another city. Or maybe in Honduras or El Salvador. It might be easy for him to go there since they have that shared visa thing.
                            Thanks for your input. We could certainly look into a different city...my SO has family scattered throughout Nicaragua. I would definitely not want to live in Managua. I'd be open to working there, but living there...no, for various reasons. Leon, sure it's a possibility. Granada: way too expensive!! Part of the rationale for me moving there is that we can live better for cheap. The thing about the town that he lives in is there are pretty much no foreigners/expats/tourists. The whole time I was there I met one Peace Corps volunteer who was sent to teach and then left after three days. I say that because usually tourists=money which means more crime.

                            El Salvador I wouldn't consider unless I got a secure UN assignment. The gang situation there is CRAZY. Honduras, not sure. My SO's Mom is working in Costa Rica right now (she spends 6 months there every year) in addition to many of his other extended family. So, that's an option.

                            I met a Nicaraguan girl when I was living in Italy who said as much as she loved her country, she'd never go back. She got an opportunity to study over there and wound up marrying a Spainard and now has made her life in Europe. As successful as her story may seem, hearing her say she'd never go back saddens me.

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                              #15
                              Originally posted by books View Post
                              live in NYC and robberies are common. I have a nice phone and never take it out while on the subway, never use it while walking at night...and generally that works.
                              Just out of curiosity, where in NYC are you?

                              Edit: I just saw in another post that you're from Queens, so I sympathize. I'm from Brooklyn, and once was stupid enough to to go Long Island City and stay past dark with a friend to shoot a movie...yeah. Eesh.

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