Financial Differences
I'm a 19 year old college student in Japan, and my SO is a 16-year old high school student in America. Our financial differences have been killing my relationship.
- when I first dated her, there was a possibility of her going to Japan with her grandmother, so I thought we would both put equal efforts into seeing each other. However, that was withdrawn months later. My SO also started complaining about how she can't set foot in Japan because she doesn't know a single hiragana. I ended up being the who has to make all the trips to America.
- evidently, I ended up being the one who has to pay for all the traveling.
- In other words, I have to earn all the money for it, since my SO cannot do it and she cannot provide me with financial aid. (nor my parents)
- In order to do that, I had to drastically cut my expenses, such as food, social life, and clothes. I gave up on many luxuries such as tuning a used car, going to trips outside of Tokyo and buying a smartphone. I'm now forced to live in the bare minimum.
- However, living in Silicon Valley (just like I was), my SO is more spoiled than I am right now. She has 50 pairs of shoes, and a wardrobe huge enough to open a mall. For her birthday she got a Coach Bag, $400 worth of cash and gift cards, and a new iPhone 4S. Add insult to injury, her marching band most recently went to New York to perform at the Carnegie Hall and Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Needless to say, that trip cost about two grands.
So I constantly yelled at her for living a more luxurious lifestyle than I, despite not being able to financially support me. I also accused her of not having a proper understanding of money, since all her bare necessities and luxuries are paid for by her parents while I have to suffer through working and earning money JUST TO PUT FOOD ON THE TABLE. I swear to God, she's too young to understand such concept. Her ignorance was apparent when she recommended me to buy a new iPhone just so I can easily be on Facebook without being on the computer to keep in touch. As if it's no big freaking deal.
So going to America and sacrificing 100 thousand yen worth of money is pretty much like slashing my chance of survival. But she never properly thanked me whenever I succeeded in going to America, and she wasted a lot of time by going on Facebook and/or ditching a lot of our appointments (even if her excuses were inevitable). I also accused her of taking our trips for granted, and failing to show appreciation for all the hard work.
Most recently she sarcastically wrote on her Facebook, "have fun at school, non-band people!" which really infuriated me and caused a massive argument.
In spite of all this, all she does is tell me to "suck it up". It's not freaking fair. She's living a more luxurious life, while I constantly worry about going bankrupt. ALL BECAUSE OF HER and how her proposed trip to Japan turned out to be bogus after we went out of each other. You know it's not freaking fair when EVEN THIS WEBSITE does nothing but suggest me to make sure both sides put in equal efforts to see each other.
Enough is enough. If this doesn't improve, then I want to leave this relationship. It's just incredibly unhealthy for me.
- when I first dated her, there was a possibility of her going to Japan with her grandmother, so I thought we would both put equal efforts into seeing each other. However, that was withdrawn months later. My SO also started complaining about how she can't set foot in Japan because she doesn't know a single hiragana. I ended up being the who has to make all the trips to America.
- evidently, I ended up being the one who has to pay for all the traveling.
- In other words, I have to earn all the money for it, since my SO cannot do it and she cannot provide me with financial aid. (nor my parents)
- In order to do that, I had to drastically cut my expenses, such as food, social life, and clothes. I gave up on many luxuries such as tuning a used car, going to trips outside of Tokyo and buying a smartphone. I'm now forced to live in the bare minimum.
- However, living in Silicon Valley (just like I was), my SO is more spoiled than I am right now. She has 50 pairs of shoes, and a wardrobe huge enough to open a mall. For her birthday she got a Coach Bag, $400 worth of cash and gift cards, and a new iPhone 4S. Add insult to injury, her marching band most recently went to New York to perform at the Carnegie Hall and Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Needless to say, that trip cost about two grands.
So I constantly yelled at her for living a more luxurious lifestyle than I, despite not being able to financially support me. I also accused her of not having a proper understanding of money, since all her bare necessities and luxuries are paid for by her parents while I have to suffer through working and earning money JUST TO PUT FOOD ON THE TABLE. I swear to God, she's too young to understand such concept. Her ignorance was apparent when she recommended me to buy a new iPhone just so I can easily be on Facebook without being on the computer to keep in touch. As if it's no big freaking deal.
So going to America and sacrificing 100 thousand yen worth of money is pretty much like slashing my chance of survival. But she never properly thanked me whenever I succeeded in going to America, and she wasted a lot of time by going on Facebook and/or ditching a lot of our appointments (even if her excuses were inevitable). I also accused her of taking our trips for granted, and failing to show appreciation for all the hard work.
Most recently she sarcastically wrote on her Facebook, "have fun at school, non-band people!" which really infuriated me and caused a massive argument.
In spite of all this, all she does is tell me to "suck it up". It's not freaking fair. She's living a more luxurious life, while I constantly worry about going bankrupt. ALL BECAUSE OF HER and how her proposed trip to Japan turned out to be bogus after we went out of each other. You know it's not freaking fair when EVEN THIS WEBSITE does nothing but suggest me to make sure both sides put in equal efforts to see each other.
Enough is enough. If this doesn't improve, then I want to leave this relationship. It's just incredibly unhealthy for me.
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