i don't know if it is his fault. but right now i just cant talk to him. he has upset me. luckily it is 11.20pm, so when i said "night" doesn't seem as if im blanking him out. but he thinks im in bed asleep.
so here is what happened.
the SO and i met up at a church choir. we first met when i was 11, he would have been 13. now at christmas, there is a service with a really nice solo in it. the piece is "once in royal david's city". now i LOVE that piece so so much. even on a bad day i will gladly listen to that. i have wanted that solo ever since i heard the SO sing it when i was 11, because of the fantastic acoustics.
thing is, he has had that solo ever since. i have never had that chance.
now last year, i did get that chance, but there was too much snow.
this year, the SO couldnt do it as he is at university most of the time. i lack courage to ask the new conductor (the chance last year was an old conductor who i liked) for the solo, so i asked this guy called Derek, who is like head of pastoral team. ive asked him before about roles etc... and he is always so lovely and never makes me feel small. i said to him "mum asked whether i could do the Once in Royal solo this year" (i couldnt ask myself hehe). he said "im sure itd be no problem, but you should really ask liam. dont worry im sure he will say its fine"
so i went to ask him. hoping id get it, he said that i was too old for the part now, that he is going to give it to someone younger.
i am so gutted. and im just feeling really resentful.
i only have this year and next year left at the church choir (before a gap year or uni). and now i dont get any chance. n it just feels like the SO has taken every single of those chances that i have. he is 2 years older and got the solo sooo many times. i did get jealous sometimes because he got it again, because i loved the piece and just really felt passionately about it.
sorry to vent. but im just so angry and upset and i cant stop crying over it.
i just want to shout at him and say "HOW COULD YOU TAKE THAT PART AWAY YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I WANTED TO DO THAT JUST ONCE".
:'(
so here is what happened.
the SO and i met up at a church choir. we first met when i was 11, he would have been 13. now at christmas, there is a service with a really nice solo in it. the piece is "once in royal david's city". now i LOVE that piece so so much. even on a bad day i will gladly listen to that. i have wanted that solo ever since i heard the SO sing it when i was 11, because of the fantastic acoustics.
thing is, he has had that solo ever since. i have never had that chance.
now last year, i did get that chance, but there was too much snow.
this year, the SO couldnt do it as he is at university most of the time. i lack courage to ask the new conductor (the chance last year was an old conductor who i liked) for the solo, so i asked this guy called Derek, who is like head of pastoral team. ive asked him before about roles etc... and he is always so lovely and never makes me feel small. i said to him "mum asked whether i could do the Once in Royal solo this year" (i couldnt ask myself hehe). he said "im sure itd be no problem, but you should really ask liam. dont worry im sure he will say its fine"
so i went to ask him. hoping id get it, he said that i was too old for the part now, that he is going to give it to someone younger.
i am so gutted. and im just feeling really resentful.
i only have this year and next year left at the church choir (before a gap year or uni). and now i dont get any chance. n it just feels like the SO has taken every single of those chances that i have. he is 2 years older and got the solo sooo many times. i did get jealous sometimes because he got it again, because i loved the piece and just really felt passionately about it.
sorry to vent. but im just so angry and upset and i cant stop crying over it.
i just want to shout at him and say "HOW COULD YOU TAKE THAT PART AWAY YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I WANTED TO DO THAT JUST ONCE".
:'(
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