Are you a habitual LDer? (Are most of your relationships long distance?)

[Moon]

1) What percentage of your relationships are long distance relationships? I have no idea, but it's really low. This is my first LDR, with the exception of a LD fling I had with a former co-worker who moved to London. That was in no way a relationship though, just some fun
2) Do the relationships begin at a distance? Had you previously met in person? Ours did, but it wasn't an online meeting. We work together, I handle the US side of things and he does the EU. No, we hadn't met in person when we took our friendship a bit further.
3) Do most of your LDRs begin online? I've only had this LDR, and it didn't begin online (see above!)
4) Do you prefer/feel more comfortable beginning your relationship at a distance? Not really, quite the opposite actually.
5) Do you have difficulty meeting compatible partners in your general proximity? I never have before, but as I get older, there are less and less single men of quality around, and ones that don't have kids.

[Snap]

1) What percentage of your relationships are long distance relationships?
100% All of mine had distance in them at some point.

2) Do the relationships begin at a distance? Had you previously met in person?
One of my relationships began at a distance although we met in person before establishing a relationship.

3) Do most of your LDRs begin online?
None.

4) Do you prefer/feel more comfortable beginning your relationship at a distance?
No, and after my experience of having a relationship begin at a distance, I never want that to happen again. Right at the start of a relationship, I want to make sure there is chemistry while we are physically together.

5) Do you have difficulty meeting compatible partners in your general proximity?
Yeah because I'm busy and picky. But even if I didn't have difficulty, I wouldn't want to give up my current SO.

[kteire]

1)What percentage of your relationships are long distance relationships?
25%. I've been in four relationships, and this is the only LD one.
2) Do the relationships begin at a distance? Had you previously met in person?
I met my SO in person when I was living in Ireland.
3) Do most of your LDRs begin online?
Nope, I don't think I could do a relationship that started online, to be perfectly honest.
4) Do you prefer/feel more comfortable beginning your relationship at a distance?
Well, my SO and I started dating CD, so I guess that doesn't apply so much... but I guess we did have to be more honest about our expectations and how we felt about each other in order to make it work.
5) Do you have difficulty meeting compatible partners in your general proximity?
I guess so, but it's hard to say, because I've moved around a lot lately. I met my SO when I was living in close proximity to him. I suppose I could have found someone less spectacular nearby in Canada, but no one else has ever been as amazing.

[LilyChiba]

1) 50/50. 3 CDR. 3 LDR.

2) All the CDR were met in my town. Two from school/college. One from a mutual friend when heading out on the weekend. 2 LDR were met on MMOs and the other (my current SO) was met on an rp chat site. I've never met any of my LDRs. I only lived with one CDR person, the others d

3) All of them have.

4) No I don't. If I had a choice, I would have met him first. But that's how love is, just happens.

5) Not at all. College works wonders.

[emily]

1) What percentage of your relationships are long distance relationships?
this the first ldr for me and the last one , if it fails i will not try it again , so i would say 10%

2) Do the relationships begin at a distance? Had you previously met in person?
It started LD but we first met in person.

3) Do most of your LDRs begin online?
None as this is the only one.

4) Do you prefer/feel more comfortable beginning your relationship at a distance?
No, not at all . i hate it but i like this person a lot and i am doing my best

5) Do you have difficulty meeting compatible partners in your general proximity?
No, never had, college is a great place to meet people .

[Bethypoo]

I have been in one or two serious relationships and dated quite a few people and this is the only LDR that I have been in.

[Zephii]

1) What percentage of your relationships are long distance relationships? I don't know. I haven't really done much dating, and I dont know what counts and what doesn't.

2) Do the relationships begin at a distance? Had you previously met in person? I've had one LDR, and we met online. I can't see me ever going LD from a CD relationship, it's not something I would choose.

3) Do most of your LDRs begin online? Yep. If I had another LDR, it would likely begin online.

4) Do you prefer/feel more comfortable beginning your relationship at a distance? Hell no. It makes me want to stab myself in the face with a fork. But, the goverment don't care how I feel about it, so we have to play by the rules and that involves some LD loving.

5) Do you have difficulty meeting compatible partners in your general proximity? I can't say I've ever tried, and I don't think I'd have trouble, no. However, I do like the forced amount of communication meeting online provides.

Interesting thread

[kittyo9]

I think this is a great topic and I have often thought about it myself. I know everyone is different and everyone has different tastes, but it really is quite an interesting study. I would love to see some statistics come out of this.

First thing's first-- we need a solid definition of what a "relationship" is. I have had many romantic interests (being those who I have been romantically involved with but not under the title of "significant other"), but only a handful of relationships (being those in which I have been romantically involved with under the title of "significant other"). I have also operated without the title of significant other in what one would otherwise consider a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship for many months. For my purposes, I will separate my encounters into romantic interests and relationships based on the definitions above. I believe the romantic interests are an important part of my answers to these questions.

1) What percentage of your relationships are long distance relationships?
I have had four "official" relationships if the one where we decided not to use the titles of boyfriend and girlfriend is counted. Of these, 100% (4/4) have been long-distance. In order, these lasted 19 months, 4 weeks, 6 months, and my current is 14+ months.

I have had many romantic interests that I was involved with in some way. I can count 6 memorable ones. Of these 6, 4 were long-distance, making 4/6 = 66.67%.

2) Do the relationships begin at a distance? Had you previously met in person?
100% of my long-distance relationships begin (and, so far, end...) at a distance.

3) Do most of your LDRs begin online?
Yes. 100% of my long-distance relationships begin online. Specifically, they tend to begin from MMORPGs, in safe and friendly communities with many friends around. All of my relationships began from someone I met on an MMORPG. 3/6 of my romantic interests began from someone I met on an MMORPG.

4) Do you prefer/feel more comfortable beginning your relationship at a distance?
I prefer beginning my relationships at a distance. It takes me much, much longer to get to know someone IRL and it is much, much more difficult to assess our compatibility that way. I am a shy person and I am not skinny, so there is a lot of judging that goes on before a person even says a word to me. It is much easier for both parties to be introduced online, where physical barriers in terms of getting to know someone are not in the way.

The other reason I prefer online is because it is easier to meet the kind of people that I am interested in. I can seek out groups of the kind of people I would like to associate with, and from there, find someone I would like to have a relationship with.

5) Do you have difficulty meeting compatible partners in your general proximity?
Yes. Mostly for the reasons I discussed in my answer to the previous question. I don't open up very quickly and I am very, very self-conscious, especially about my appearance. I'm not ugly, but I am overweight, and as soon as I feel like I'm being judged, I shut down.

[Bobbiejeanne]

1) What percentage of your relationships are long distance relationships?
33% (1/3). 1st was 6 months exactly, 2nd 2 years, 7 months, and this is 6+ months.

I'm not counting one guy I "dated" for a while, because we never go past that, he asked me to be his girlfriend and I turned him down. But for the purpose of counting all relationships:
25% (1/4) with the additional relationship being about 2 months.

I attempted one other LDR in middle school, but the boy back down because he had had past experience with a LDR (in middle school?? I was shocked too) that had gone wrong, and so we never got past just telling each other our interest and flirting. And again in January of this year with a boy in Denmark. That also failed because he didn't want an LDR. But I thought we would have been nice.

2) Do the relationships begin at a distance? Had you previously met in person?
No. My one LDR (my current relationship) started out CD. We both knew it was going to become LD from the get go because of college, however... which did put an interesting spin on how we handle things.

3) Do most of your LDRs begin online?
n/a. But I would say that I probably wouldn't be the one to do this. I'm too shy to go out an introduce myself in person, let alone online!

4) Do you prefer/feel more comfortable beginning your relationship at a distance?
No. Other than on this site, I don't go out an socialize over the internet. I do make one exception for myself, however, in the case of my Omegle boy from Denmark. I was bored on New years Eve and freshly single, so I went on Omegle for the hell of it and met a very sweet boy by the name of Kristian. We were instantly interested, but it never blossomed any farther than fun flirting.

I wouldn't mind flirting every once and a while if I was single, but having a relationship, and going from there? Too frightening. I would be scared they weren't real.

5) Do you have difficulty meeting compatible partners in your general proximity?
I actually prefer proximity! My favorite first date is when you just go somewhere and talk and tell stories for hours on end. I feel really connected to them, and I feel some of that is lost in an LDR. But if it's worth it, like it is now, I'd do anything to keep the relationship.

What makes LDR okay for me is that I'm loyal and determined. If I find a relationship worth keeping, I'll go to great lengths to stay together.
But, I wouldn't go out and seek a LDR. I'll go out and seek CDRs.

[BlueCat]

I had to vote yes, simply because my first and only relationship is long distance. Though I don't think it would be a habit of mine were I not in one.


1) What percentage of your relationships are long distance relationships?
100% as it's my first and only relationship.

2) Do the relationships begin at a distance? Had you previously met in person?
Yes it began at a distance.

3) Do most of your LDRs begin online?
Another yes, simply because it's my only one and yes it did start online.

4) Do you prefer/feel more comfortable beginning your relationship at a distance?
Not really, to some extent it allowed us to talk and get to know each other more and learn how to communicate before involving any physical intimacy, which I guess has its perks. But I should think that in the long run it's simply easier to start in person.

5) Do you have difficulty meeting compatible partners in your general proximity?
Not really, I was just either too shy or not interested to get into a relationship with someone I knew close by before I met my SO.

[Reuschel]

My relationship was CD before it went LD but I'm hoping it'll be my last.

[Sora1101]

1) What percentage of your relationships are long distance relationships? About 80% of my relationships are long distance
2) Do the relationships begin at a distance? Had you previously met in person? All of my LDR's have begun at a distance
3) Do most of your LDRs begin online? All of my LDR's started online
4) Do you prefer/feel more comfortable beginning your relationship at a distance? I do feel more comfortable meeting people online although I never actually try to start a relationship that way I'm just naturally a very shy person so online my true personality can shine and so do others that I meet and it usually just goes from there.
5) Do you have difficulty meeting compatible partners in your general proximity? You could say I have trouble but I never really thought of it like that, I just know that meeting people in general is very hard for me to do so it's nothing specifically relationship wise.

[Engel]

1) What percentage of your relationships are long distance relationships?

If you mean romantic relationships, just this one, with my present Significant Other, my Husband to Be, the Love Of My Life (I don't care if I sound cheesy, it is all true. ). Friendships, however, I have many that started on-line. Even a couple that started here on the forum.

2) Do the relationships begin at a distance? Had you previously met in person?

Romantic relationships, to consider yourself in a relationship without meeting? nah, not an option for me. I met him on-line, talked, but we didn't consider each other a couple or were anything other than friendly (and flirtatious, sure, but that was it) before we met in real.

Friendships, however, I have people I never saw in real life whom consider good friends of mine.

3) Do most of your LDRs begin online?

The one and only I ever had, the one I am in, didn't start on-line. As I said, we met on-line, but the relationship started when we met for real, two months after we met on-line.

4) Do you prefer/feel more comfortable beginning your relationship at a distance?
Hmm, I don't know, I am a friendly person usually, even if it is me saying so, and I have no problem whatsoever to make small talk or joke around with people I just met, to a limit, sure, I don't go around like some people I hate that barely meet someone and act as they are childhood friends. What I mean is, I am not introvert or shy to talk to new people, so it makes no difference who I am on-line and who I am when you meet me in a party or school or wherever. I am the same person, so it makes no difference the way I met someone.

answering it: it makes me neither more nor less comfortable to begin a relationship or friendship at a distance.

5) Do you have difficulty meeting compatible partners in your general proximity?


I don't think I ever allowed myself to get attached to someone from Brazil, because I always kne I wanted to live in Germany or England. So I didn't want to be stuck in Brazil and therefore never let myself get too attached to someone who's future was in Brazil.

So when this amazing german guy, the most kind and cute I've ever met and I started dating, when we saw each other in person after talking online for 2 months, I let my guard down and didn't even notice it. When I realised I was in love, there was nothing I could do about it, just love and be loved (Yes, I am way too cheesy today, someone please shoot me.)

[squirrelz15]

1) What percentage of your relationships are long distance relationships? I guess 20%. This is my 5th boyfriend (if you even count the 4th lol).
2) Do the relationships begin at a distance? Had you previously met in person?This relationship began CD really. We have been friends for 3 years. He asked me to be his gf after he'd gone away to school, but we knew each other before
3) Do most of your LDRs begin online?I haven't started an LD relationship from online
4) Do you prefer/feel more comfortable beginning your relationship at a distance? No, I'd rather be close
5) Do you have difficulty meeting compatible partners in your general proximity?Yes, but I met this one close by.

[CynicalQuixotic]

1) What percentage of your relationships are long distance relationships?

50%, as I've had two. My ex-boyfriend was my first ever boyfriend, we met in high school, and my current SO is number 2.

2) Do the relationships begin at a distance? Had you previously met in person?

No, JP and I were CD for the first two months of our relationship--we met while I was studying abroad in Paris.

3) Do most of your LDRs begin online?

Technically, yes. I had an OKCupid profile, and I changed my city from New York to Paris on a whim, not expecting anything to come of it--I wasn't really interested in dating at that time and barely checked it. But, JP messaged me, and we got to chatting and really hit it off. He asked me to go grab dinner with him two days after he first messaged me, we met, and were inseparable from that night on.

4) Do you prefer/feel more comfortable beginning your relationship at a distance?

Not at all, quite the opposite. I'm a very physical, touch-oriented person, and I think it's much harder to navigate the beginning stages of attraction without being able to be physically near the person and able to note and respond to their body language.

5) Do you have difficulty meeting compatible partners in your general proximity?

I wouldn't say so. I casually dated a few guys between my relationship with the ex and the one I'm in now, but being in university presents more opportunities to meet people my age than there would be if I weren't a student, I think.