Are you a habitual LDer? (Are most of your relationships long distance?)

[thatgirllit]

I think this is a great topic and I have often thought about it myself. I know everyone is different and everyone has different tastes, but it really is quite an interesting study. I would love to see some statistics come out of this.

First thing's first-- we need a solid definition of what a "relationship" is. I have had many romantic interests (being those who I have been romantically involved with but not under the title of "significant other"), but only a handful of relationships (being those in which I have been romantically involved with under the title of "significant other"). I have also operated without the title of significant other in what one would otherwise consider a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship for many months. For my purposes, I will separate my encounters into romantic interests and relationships based on the definitions above. I believe the romantic interests are an important part of my answers to these questions.

1) What percentage of your relationships are long distance relationships?
I have had four "official" relationships if the one where we decided not to use the titles of boyfriend and girlfriend is counted. Of these, 100% (4/4) have been long-distance. In order, these lasted 19 months, 4 weeks, 6 months, and my current is 14+ months.

I have had many romantic interests that I was involved with in some way. I can count 6 memorable ones. Of these 6, 4 were long-distance, making 4/6 = 66.67%.

2) Do the relationships begin at a distance? Had you previously met in person?
100% of my long-distance relationships begin (and, so far, end...) at a distance.

3) Do most of your LDRs begin online?
Yes. 100% of my long-distance relationships begin online. Specifically, they tend to begin from MMORPGs, in safe and friendly communities with many friends around. All of my relationships began from someone I met on an MMORPG. 3/6 of my romantic interests began from someone I met on an MMORPG.

4) Do you prefer/feel more comfortable beginning your relationship at a distance?
I prefer beginning my relationships at a distance. It takes me much, much longer to get to know someone IRL and it is much, much more difficult to assess our compatibility that way. I am a shy person and I am not skinny, so there is a lot of judging that goes on before a person even says a word to me. It is much easier for both parties to be introduced online, where physical barriers in terms of getting to know someone are not in the way.

The other reason I prefer online is because it is easier to meet the kind of people that I am interested in. I can seek out groups of the kind of people I would like to associate with, and from there, find someone I would like to have a relationship with.

5) Do you have difficulty meeting compatible partners in your general proximity?
Yes. Mostly for the reasons I discussed in my answer to the previous question. I don't open up very quickly and I am very, very self-conscious, especially about my appearance. I'm not ugly, but I am overweight, and as soon as I feel like I'm being judged, I shut down.

Statistics A woman after my own heart...

I would define a relationship as an exclusive arrangement between two people, where both parties are committed to a long term partnership. I don't think that "dating," where one or both parties may be engaging other parties romantically should be counted.

While it is not statistical by any means, I have noticed two dominant trends in this thread. These categories may seem intuitive, but I thought the input from members helped shed some additional light on what I had already noticed. These are obliviously not totally inclusive, but dominant:

1) Most relationships are at a distance. People who fall into this category may or may not meet their partners online. However, one one or more of their relationships generally began at a distance, and there may be a considerable period of time before they meet in person. People in this category may consider themselves shy or introverted and generally take the relationship at a somewhat slower place than relationships that begin with close proximity (CD). In many instances, the people who consistently engage in long distance relationships also seem to be engaging particular groups or demographics that may not be a easy to engage in their immediate community; these can very by race/ethnicity, activity, etc.

2) Most relationships are not at a distance. People who fall into this category are likely to have had two or less long distance relationships. Many of the people in this category may have met their partner at close proximity (CD) and the relationship eventually became long distance. Many of these people do not appear to have difficulty meeting ideal partners within their general proximity and are generally unwilling to engage in another long distance relationship should their present long distance relationship not be fruitful.

Just things that I noticed thus far... BTW: Thank you for everyone who decided to comment in this thread...it was definitely interesting. Also, thanks to anyone who voted even if you didn't comment.

[Zapookie]

1) What percentage of your relationships are long distance relationships? This is my first real relationship, so 100%.
2) Do the relationships begin at a distance? Had you previously met in person? Yes, it began at a distance.
3) Do most of your LDRs begin online? All of my LDR's started online It began online.
4) Do you prefer/feel more comfortable beginning your relationship at a distance? I actually do feel more comfortable this way. I feel like I got to know my SO on a much deeper level than I would've had we started out CD. We didn't have the physical aspect of the relationship to go by, all we could do was talk. I would say we know each other very well because of that, probably better than most CD couples IMO.
5) Do you have difficulty meeting compatible partners in your general proximity? Hah.. yeah. I do actually. I'm very defensive when it comes to people trying to approach me. I tried online dating for a while but it was an epic failure.

[SDPersona]

I'll be keeping to the definitions others already put down and just add what an LDR is to me. I'd define LDR as an exclusive and intimate (long-term, preferably) relationship taking place between two people who are seperated by a considerate distance, typically between two different countries or states, and who are seperated over quite some time. Now...

1) What percentage of your relationships are long distance relationships?
Out of four relationships that were exclusive and official only 1/4 (25%) was/is long-distance. That's the one I'm currently in.

2) Do the relationships begin at a distance? Had you previously met in person?
I met my current boyfriend while interning at his country and the relationship started just before my departure. The other relationship all started and ended CD.

3) Do most of your LDRs begin online?
No, but I did dabble in online dating which never worked out. Not even once.

4) Do you prefer/feel more comfortable beginning your relationship at a distance?
If I didn't fell in love while in another country I would have continued looking for partners more close to me. So, no.

5) Do you have difficulty meeting compatible partners in your general proximity?
I do have trouble, because not all deaf men bring smartness and conversationalist abilities with them and hearing people generally seem to shy away once they know I'm deaf.... *grumble*

[elizabethjp2010]

1) this is my first LDR, Ive only had 2 serious boyfriends so i guess 50% of my relationships are ldr
2)nope, we met in high school, he moved to start college
3) nope! if you can do it more power to ya, im skeptical though, i dont trust people enough
4)not at all, i feel like it makes me more vonerable and i get jealous easier
5) no, i met michael here

[Jgui]

1) What percentage of your relationships are long distance relationships?
This is my very 1st long distance relationship. Although he lives 2 hours away from me it's still tough to have to wait a whole week to spend just 1 day with him...

2) Do the relationships begin at a distance? Had you previously met in person?
We actually met on an online dating website and we met in person after 1 week or talking and officially dating by week 2. We've been together for 4 months now

3) Do most of your LDRs begin online?
Nope, this is actually my 1st relationship where I'm dating someone i met online.

4) Do you prefer/feel more comfortable beginning your relationship at a distance?
I don't prefer being in a long distance relationship. I'm more used to having my boyfriend living in the same city as me. This is definitely different and takes some getting use to. We are only 115 mile apart now, but in another year it will be a farther distance

5) Do you have difficulty meeting compatible partners in your general proximity?
Actually I do not. I wasn't looking for a relationship when me and my SO met. I've had that dating website account for 1.5 years after me and my ex broke up in 2009. He just happened to message me and I responded (glad i did).