Non Believers

[LovefromCOtoTX]

So lately I have becom really frustrated with people who ask about my LDR and then proceed to bash it by saying things like you really think that you will be able to keep it going for that long. It is very frustrating and disheartening. Does anyone have advice on things to say or what to do about these people?

[Verojoon]

ignore them. They don't know, only you do... In the end, you'll have the last words once you prove them wrong...

[kittyo9]

Mostly it's just live by example. You can point out the thousands and thousands of successful long-term long-distance relationships that are going on as we speak, but these people tend not to listen. And, frankly, they're just rude, so try take the high road and get on with your relationship regardless of what they say. Tell them you appreciate their concern, but this isn't their life, and you will do as you please... and then go on to have a kick-ass relationship and live life the way you want to!

[JennMarcus612]

To be completely honest..... I don't think they honestly know what (or could know) what love is if they aren't away from their partner for some time. You have a connection with this person that NO ONE ELSE IN THE WORLD DOES. It's like you have the same color spirits and nothing can change that. So I carefully and beautifully say "Back off cunt waffles... let me show you how its done"

I've learned a lot from this site. I think we all have gotten our fair share of people rolling their eyes or scoffing.... maybe because our honeymoon faze will take years to wear off and their jealous.

[elizabethjp2010]

do you know its real? If yes, then say fuck you to the people who dont.

[efish1042]

A relationship is between two people (typically, lol). No one else matters. Don't let them get to you.

[Benni]

I've run into a few naysayers myself. I just tell them "If it works for us, then we will be very happy. If it doesn't, we can still say we had an awesome experience we'll never forget." Win-Win.

[pink elephant]

Everyone's idea of what a relationship should be is different, unfortunately.

I would just go over that you chose this in relationship because you chose the person that makes you feel special and tell them why. Usually people back off when they realize just how much you're into this person and relationship. (i.e. I tell people I love my husband because he's the only person in the world that helped me change from a super quiet person to finding my voice! And that is why I want to stay in this relationship!) Personally, I think it's unfair for others to be judgmental if they don't even know anything about your special girl/guy!

If that doesn't convince them, then move on - change the subject, kindly ask them to drop it, or, if they're being completely unreasonable or unpleasant, excuse yourself. It's not worth wasting time trying to explain an LDR to someone who doesn't even want to bother getting to know your special guy/gal. Friends can be careful and critical as much as they want - but only after they've given you a chance to make your stance completely heard, too. But don't be afraid to ask for support either.

[dianacakes]

Ughhhhhh. I hate non-believers. They just don't understand it and are so quick to judge when they usually have never been in one. Just because we don't get to see our SO in person every single day, doesn't mean our relationship is worth any less. And I certainly didn't wake up one morning and say 'Oh yeah, I'm going to go find me a LDR'. Ignorant people.

You can say that LDRs are not for everybody, but for those who are in one, they are just as real as any other relationship out there. Oh, and fuck the non-believers. They won't be invited to the wedding.

[Benni]

Oh, and fuck the non-believers. They won't be invited to the wedding.

[Kristin91]

As other people have said, you really have to ignore them. LDRs have a ton of negative stigma around them because people just don't understand them. Only you and your SO really understand the connection you have (especially if you've never met before).

[LovefromCOtoTX]

Thank you everyone!! That was really helpful, from now on I will just smile and let them know that I'm happy in the relationship that I'm in even if he is far away. Benni I like what you said cause I try to have that attitude of I'm happy that my LDR is working and if it doesn't then it was definitely a learning experience. and dianacakes you are correct they will definitely not be invited to the wedding!

[MissVampyxo]

Honestly the best thing to do is ignore them and walk away. It's not like it's any of their business anyways! If that's what they think then good for them! I have had random people online being anons telling me that me and my SO won't last and that was over a year ago. We've now been together for 2 years and have closed the distance!

[Benni]

We've now been together for 2 years and have closed the distance!

That's great!!

Hell, I'm the kind of person that will make sure it works out -- just so I can thumb my nose at people and say "See!"

[dianacakes]

Thank you everyone!! That was really helpful, from now on I will just smile and let them know that I'm happy in the relationship that I'm in even if he is far away. Benni I like what you said cause I try to have that attitude of I'm happy that my LDR is working and if it doesn't then it was definitely a learning experience. and dianacakes you are correct they will definitely not be invited to the wedding!

damn right! you go girl.