How did you cope when saying the 'goodbyes' of your first trip and afterwards?..

[AmandaZ]

I'm still planning on meeting my sweetheart, and we got it all figured out; since he lives in Mexico and I live in Denmark, we're so lucky to Both have relatives in California! his in Oxnard and mine in Sacramento. so me and one of my parents will travel to live to my uncle and his family, and he's completely fine with the situation and is more happy about us visiting! He includingly said that my boyfriend is welcome to stay over at any time, and so am I to go with mine:3

So we're like halfway there!.. Now I just need to save up for a ticket. my uncle will probably pay for my dad, since he doesn't work anymore, and it's easy here for a girl my age to make money of a job.(my boyfriend is of course, also saving up for his trip here)

But.. the thing I worry about the most.. is when the time comes to go home again.. as I asked.. How do you cope?.. or how Did You cope?..
did you break down at the airport? felt miserable for weeks afterwards? ect, ect!..
I am somewhat worried on how we're going to cope with it.. I know we'll still be together, so it's more of a "See you later" than a "Goodbye".. but I know it's not excacly going to be a piece of cake..and I just want to be somehow prepared of how it's going to be like?..

[snow_girl]

There is no instruction manual on how to cope, you just do. Keep busy and all that. I never had a problem leaving my SO, I never cried or felt I couldn't cope. I worked lots and hung out with friends. Being apart doesn't have to be a sad thing.

[Sora1101]

haha I cried my eyes out for weeks, still do actually. I think of it as equal trade, I had the most amazing time of my life, the best few days I'd ever had so of course losing it would be the most depressing couple of days ever. There really isn't any way to cope, just try to keep busy and keep your mind off of the fact that he's not there, try to cam or call or communicate a lot during the first couple days to ease the separation but other than that nothing can really be done. Oh and I personally avoided thinking about the visit for awhile every time I thought about it I would start bawling my eyes out again so I just tried to stay away from that.

[kittyo9]

Ahhhh it's hard, but there's no way around it. ): I cried a lot, both before and after I left. We skyped immediately after I was settled at home, so it didn't feel like we were really apart. I'm a bit of an emotional eater, so my coping mechanisms have included extra ice cream and comfort food for the past few days (just got back from my trip on the 24th). I also like to watch a lot of TV/movies to distract myself. I can't throw myself into my work like some other people, although I wish I could. I'd be so much more productive.

My other coping mechanism is to make something-- a drawing, a painting, a craft, whatever. I find that putting my energy and emotions into something beautiful or expressive is helpful, and I usually show my SO afterwards, so it becomes an expression of my love for him, whether he knows it or not. This is the most effective means I have, but I have to be in the right mood to do it.

[mcnab]

There were lots of tears.

It helped to have already planned when we were going to see each next, as well as plans of when we would talk online

It's always going to be hard, but look to the future and be positive rather than look at the past and be negative

[Schlafmütze]

I do agree with what Snow_Girl said.
Besides that, having "sketches" of plans of when the next visit will be and where will it take place and so on can also help. Having something to look forward to is important to make the distance bearable and find ways to work around that "sketch of a plan" in order to make it happen.

Also, focus on the now. Make the best out of this visit you are talking about, take the time to enjoy each other company and just be happy. Don't waste so much time thinking of the goodbye part because there is a high chance you will regret every second you wasted focusing on the sad part of it, while you guys were physically together. You guys, Together will find a way(s) to cope.

[Jezah]

Oh god, I cried so much. Me and HBB agreed we would say goodbye and that we wouldn't look back. I kissed him at the top of the escalator then taking that step away was probably the hardest thing ever. I didn't look back, I walked the entire terminal without looking back....but HBB broke his agreement and I guess he essentially ran the entire top deck so he could see me until I walked out the doors. I am not sure who had it harder, him having to see me walk away or me having to get the strength to not look back.

Its really hard for a few days, at least you both are going back to your homes whereas I had to go back to my apartment with all the memories of us together and be there without him. It does get better, and you do find your equilibrium again, and will feel ok again.

[TwoThree]

I cried a lot, too. At the time it was possible for him to come with me to the boarding gate (now he can't get past security if he's not going to travel) and I was grateful for that, but when he had to leave I felt like I was going to faint. I cried almost all the way from Helsinki to Paris, and even on the plane to my hometown. I was seated next to a very nice French gentleman who asked if I was ok. Eventually the tears stopped but I felt like I was moving in fog for the next day. Couldn't smile or really connect to what was happening around me. But I got over it. Work, family, friends, they all help. And now it's easier to say goodbye. I still cry, and feel a bit depressed for a few days, but I'm managing.

[flugelhorn]

I have to say you're both at an advantage as you are meeting up together in a destination that is not home to either of you. My SO & I had a conversation once "is it easier to leave or be left behind?" & we both agree leaving is easier... it's so much harder to be the one left behind & come back to your house & be alone, & go out & see all these places you just spent time together... When you get on the plane you're leaving it all behind & it's easier to get into the frame of mind that you're away from your SO again.

I cry at the airport every single time. My SO & I know it's going to be okay, but it's never easy saying goodbye to someone you love.

Besides that, having "sketches" of plans of when the next visit will be and where will it take place and so on can also help. Having something to look forward to is important to make the distance bearable and find ways to work around that "sketch of a plan" in order to make it happen.

This. This is very important. If you can't make plans, at least plan your next Skype date.

[nzleagle]

For me it wasnt so much the first time we met, but the going from CDR to LDR, watching My wife and Kids walk into the passenger only area was one of the worst moments of my life, I was going to wait in the viewing area, to wave to them, but I was too upset, and didnt want my kids to see me so upset, and them not be able to come and give me a cuddle. So I left, went down the beach for a while (love the sound of the ocean) which settled me down a bit. But even a month later still have moments where I wish they didnt go.....

[ashdav2010]

I cried like a baby and I still do every time either one of us has to leave. There has only been 1 time that I haven't, and it was because he made an unexpected trip here for work and was coming back a few days after he left. I feel awful for about a week after we part, then slowly start to feel normal again - just in time for another visit! haha The happiness you feel when you're together will be worth a bit of sadness when you have to leave.

[milaya]

Hejsa,
hvor i Danmark er du fra? Vi er jo ikke mange danskere her. XD

The first time we said goodbye, I actually for some reason managed not to cry, not before I was back home. Then I felt kind of like a zombie for days.
Nowadays I always end up crying the day we say our goodbyes, always find myself wishing there was better way and overall it takes its' toll on me, but I'm better at getting back on feet and I'm often ready to smile and have fun with my friends the next day. I try to make as many plans as possible to keep busy till our next visit and try not waste time feeling sorry for myself. Saying that I don't feel like crying or get sentimental at times would be a lie. If I feel stressed out (exams, papers, etc.) or for some reason finding myself emotional vulnerable I often end up feeling lonely and often end up crying.
A good thing is having your next meeting planned or at least being in the process. My SO and I always know when we'll meet up next - it helps.

[leonsfangirl]

I don't cope.

I cried alot the day before i left and cried constantly the day i actually left. I cried the whole 8 hour flight, on the train and at my moms when i got there. I was a wreck for the first week and even speaking to my SO made me cry. It hurt more than nearly anything else I've experienced. That was the first visit.

The second, i was a little bit better. I cried alittle bit the day before and on and off at the airport waiting with my SO for his flight to be called. When it came to saying goodbye i cried my eyes out. Didnt speak to my step dad the whole ride home, just sat in the car and cried. I was emotionally for the first week or 2 but better than the last time. I could talk to my SO without feeling so sad but i did get teary.

I'm hoping the 3rd time (october hopefully) I'll be better (but i doubt it)

I cant offer advice on how to cope as i didnt. It's ok not to be ok. I couldnt face doing anything yet others find that going out helps.

Do what feels right for you.

[AmandaZ]

Hehe, er fra Kolding og hey, I har samme måneds og årsdag som os<3 cool!~x3
og tusind tak for dine råd<3

[AmandaZ]

Hejsa,
hvor i Danmark er du fra? Vi er jo ikke mange danskere her. XD

The first time we said goodbye, I actually for some reason managed not to cry, not before I was back home. Then I felt kind of like a zombie for days.
Nowadays I always end up crying the day we say our goodbyes, always find myself wishing there was better way and overall it takes its' toll on me, but I'm better at getting back on feet and I'm often ready to smile and have fun with my friends the next day. I try to make as many plans as possible to keep busy till our next visit and try not waste time feeling sorry for myself. Saying that I don't feel like crying or get sentimental at times would be a lie. If I feel stressed out (exams, papers, etc.) or for some reason finding myself emotional vulnerable I often end up feeling lonely and often end up crying.
A good thing is having your next meeting planned or at least being in the process. My SO and I always know when we'll meet up next - it helps.

Hehe, er fra Kolding og hey, I har samme måneds og årsdag som os<3 cool!~x3
og tusind tak for dine råd<3