Girlfriend said I remind her of her ex :s

[NeverToFarApartx3]

Last night my girlfriend said that I remind her of her ex so much that sometimes it hurts... I don't know how to take that? Like; forreal :\. I don't like the thought that every time I talk to her, she's thinking of her ex :s, it hurts me.. and it's going to be in the back of my mind every day.. what do I do? I don't wanna leave her for it.. but it's hurting ME. I found out that's why we always argue and that why she can't hardly talk to me.. I'm really lost right now.

[snow_girl]

I think that's something you should keep to yourself, no good could possibly come from telling your SO that. I'm sorry she thought it was a good idea. I think you need to talk about it and tell her that it makes you feel pretty shitty and remind her you are NOT her ex and see what she expects will come from telling you.

[Haley53]

In addition what snow_girl said, I'd go so far as to re-evaluate whether or not this relationship can work. You always argue because you remind her of someone she's not completely over? That sounds like a recipe for disaster, a recipe for heartbreak for you, and perhaps something to think about before you lose your virginity to this girl and potentially sacrifice your relationship with your mother over her as well.

[Moon]

Agree with the ladies above me Also, you might get a lot more responses and advice if you post in the general forum, instead of International. I've noticed you've posted in here before, but usually only those of us in international relationships read these threads, so you're getting fewer views, and less help than you'd get in the general forum.

[NeverToFarApartx3]

Agree with the ladies above me Also, you might get a lot more responses and advice if you post in the general forum, instead of International. I've noticed you've posted in here before, but usually only those of us in international relationships read these threads, so you're getting fewer views, and less help than you'd get in the general forum.

I reposted it in the general forum.. thank you :\ last night I told her I couldn't do this.. she started crying.. I couldn't do it :'( I don't want to break up with her.. but its eating at me I don't feel.. I dont know.. I'm so lost

[Haley53]

I think the issue, for me, would be what the tears are for. Quite frankly, if you're arguing with someone because they remind you of your ex, you're either seriously hung up or, well, seriously hung up. It could be for reasons that the relationship ended badly or it could be that she's not over her ex, but regardless, she's not over her ex/the situation and it is going to continue causing problems. My worry would be she's using you to fill the void and that once she's worked through what she needs to, she won't need you anymore - a rebound, essentially, that of course she's not going to want to lose but for the wrong reasons (which she may not be conscious of). I think you need to decide if she's worth the possibility that she will break up with you once she's worked through whatever's eating at her about her ex. I would suggest discussing this with her, but as someone who has rebounded before (it was a terrible, terrible decision, but extremely complicated, so I'll spare you the story), I can tell you that it's not until you've fully worked through it that you come to realisations that seemed so obvious in the beginning; even talking to her about it, you may not get the answers you're hoping for. *hugs* to you, and I would suggest taking some time to think on this one.

[NeverToFarApartx3]

I think the issue, for me, would be what the tears are for. Quite frankly, if you're arguing with someone because they remind you of your ex, you're either seriously hung up or, well, seriously hung up. It could be for reasons that the relationship ended badly or it could be that she's not over her ex, but regardless, she's not over her ex/the situation and it is going to continue causing problems. My worry would be she's using you to fill the void and that once she's worked through what she needs to, she won't need you anymore - a rebound, essentially, that of course she's not going to want to lose but for the wrong reasons (which she may not be conscious of). I think you need to decide if she's worth the possibility that she will break up with you once she's worked through whatever's eating at her about her ex. I would suggest discussing this with her, but as someone who has rebounded before (it was a terrible, terrible decision, but extremely complicated, so I'll spare you the story), I can tell you that it's not until you've fully worked through it that you come to realisations that seemed so obvious in the beginning; even talking to her about it, you may not get the answers you're hoping for. *hugs* to you, and I would suggest taking some time to think on this one.

I talked to her about it... she said thats not the reason she's with me.. but i can't shake the feeling that she's lying... I try talking to her about it.. but I just cry

[Jade-22]

oh hun that is not good i would talk to her about how saying what she has said has hurt and then see where u go from there x

[elina]

What a slap in the face! I wouldn't be happy hearing my SO say that. I can't really give any more advice than the others have already given. I, too, would talk to her about it though, let her know that it's not cool to say that.

Keep us updated? *hugs*

[NeverToFarApartx3]

What a slap in the face! I wouldn't be happy hearing my SO say that. I can't really give any more advice than the others have already given. I, too, would talk to her about it though, let her know that it's not cool to say that.

Keep us updated? *hugs*

Well, I'm giving us a shot, she said she'll keep those kind of things to herself.. I told her that I was happy she could be honest with me but it was not needed to tell me THAT. I told her if I could only have half of her heart than I can't do this, because i Need all of her. ♥/ She apologized, she was crying, she said she doesn't wanna loose me, I asked her on the phone, I said be honest, are you ONLY with me cause I remind you of her ex. She straight up said no. She didn't get offensive or anything. She asked me to never leave her.. I did tell her if she continues to relate me to her ex we will not be able to make this work. I told her I am NOT her ex, I'm a total different person, and she needs to realize that before she loses me. I love her, and I do want to make this work. SO I'm going to try.