Last night my girlfriend said that I remind her of her ex so much that sometimes it hurts... I don't know how to take that? Like; forreal :\. I don't like the thought that every time I talk to her, she's thinking of her ex :s, it hurts me.. and it's going to be in the back of my mind every day.. what do I do? I don't wanna leave her for it.. but it's hurting ME. I found out that's why we always argue and that why she can't hardly talk to me.. I'm really lost right now.
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Girlfriend said I remind her of her ex :s
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I think that's something you should keep to yourself, no good could possibly come from telling your SO that. I'm sorry she thought it was a good idea. I think you need to talk about it and tell her that it makes you feel pretty shitty and remind her you are NOT her ex and see what she expects will come from telling you.
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In addition what snow_girl said, I'd go so far as to re-evaluate whether or not this relationship can work. You always argue because you remind her of someone she's not completely over? That sounds like a recipe for disaster, a recipe for heartbreak for you, and perhaps something to think about before you lose your virginity to this girl and potentially sacrifice your relationship with your mother over her as well.{ Our Story on LFAD }
Our Beginning
Met online: February 2009
Feelings confessed: December 2010
Unofficially together since: January/February 2011
Officially together since: 08 April 2011
Our Story
First meeting in person: 16 August - 14 September 2011
Second visit: 17 March - 01 April 2012
Third visit: 23 July - 13 September 2012
Fourth visit: Looking at 23 March - 6 April 2013
Our Happily Ever After
to be continued...
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Agree with the ladies above me Also, you might get a lot more responses and advice if you post in the general forum, instead of International. I've noticed you've posted in here before, but usually only those of us in international relationships read these threads, so you're getting fewer views, and less help than you'd get in the general forum.Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. ~Albert Einstein
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Originally posted by Moon View PostAgree with the ladies above me Also, you might get a lot more responses and advice if you post in the general forum, instead of International. I've noticed you've posted in here before, but usually only those of us in international relationships read these threads, so you're getting fewer views, and less help than you'd get in the general forum.Rona A.
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Tiffanee C.
Together since | x3.29.2014- ♥
Met online | x3.22.2014 - Met at | Whisper (app)
Met in person | x4.22.2014 - Met in | Lincoln City, OR
Moved in together | Jun. of 2013
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I think the issue, for me, would be what the tears are for. Quite frankly, if you're arguing with someone because they remind you of your ex, you're either seriously hung up or, well, seriously hung up. It could be for reasons that the relationship ended badly or it could be that she's not over her ex, but regardless, she's not over her ex/the situation and it is going to continue causing problems. My worry would be she's using you to fill the void and that once she's worked through what she needs to, she won't need you anymore - a rebound, essentially, that of course she's not going to want to lose but for the wrong reasons (which she may not be conscious of). I think you need to decide if she's worth the possibility that she will break up with you once she's worked through whatever's eating at her about her ex. I would suggest discussing this with her, but as someone who has rebounded before (it was a terrible, terrible decision, but extremely complicated, so I'll spare you the story), I can tell you that it's not until you've fully worked through it that you come to realisations that seemed so obvious in the beginning; even talking to her about it, you may not get the answers you're hoping for. *hugs* to you, and I would suggest taking some time to think on this one.{ Our Story on LFAD }
Our Beginning
Met online: February 2009
Feelings confessed: December 2010
Unofficially together since: January/February 2011
Officially together since: 08 April 2011
Our Story
First meeting in person: 16 August - 14 September 2011
Second visit: 17 March - 01 April 2012
Third visit: 23 July - 13 September 2012
Fourth visit: Looking at 23 March - 6 April 2013
Our Happily Ever After
to be continued...
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Originally posted by Eclaire View PostI think the issue, for me, would be what the tears are for. Quite frankly, if you're arguing with someone because they remind you of your ex, you're either seriously hung up or, well, seriously hung up. It could be for reasons that the relationship ended badly or it could be that she's not over her ex, but regardless, she's not over her ex/the situation and it is going to continue causing problems. My worry would be she's using you to fill the void and that once she's worked through what she needs to, she won't need you anymore - a rebound, essentially, that of course she's not going to want to lose but for the wrong reasons (which she may not be conscious of). I think you need to decide if she's worth the possibility that she will break up with you once she's worked through whatever's eating at her about her ex. I would suggest discussing this with her, but as someone who has rebounded before (it was a terrible, terrible decision, but extremely complicated, so I'll spare you the story), I can tell you that it's not until you've fully worked through it that you come to realisations that seemed so obvious in the beginning; even talking to her about it, you may not get the answers you're hoping for. *hugs* to you, and I would suggest taking some time to think on this one.Rona A.
&
Tiffanee C.
Together since | x3.29.2014- ♥
Met online | x3.22.2014 - Met at | Whisper (app)
Met in person | x4.22.2014 - Met in | Lincoln City, OR
Moved in together | Jun. of 2013
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Originally posted by elina View PostWhat a slap in the face! I wouldn't be happy hearing my SO say that. I can't really give any more advice than the others have already given. I, too, would talk to her about it though, let her know that it's not cool to say that.
Keep us updated? *hugs*Rona A.
&
Tiffanee C.
Together since | x3.29.2014- ♥
Met online | x3.22.2014 - Met at | Whisper (app)
Met in person | x4.22.2014 - Met in | Lincoln City, OR
Moved in together | Jun. of 2013
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